Wretched Self

life

I want is to have a simple and happy life. Bu

show everyone my greates

I have no companion but only my fami

I only know that I am what I am. I know to myself

straight at my face. I closed my eyes tightly and felt the

lf from crying again and again. My hands turned into fists

ying while looking at us. My older sister, Faye, cover

d them to obey immediately. "

ped, trying to

ord! I don't have a d

! You are my mother

She cut me off then pointed to the door.

to be strong. I will not get down in front of my mother. I gri

How can you resist me? I.. I am your family.. and no

onto the wood beside to get her to stop pushing me. I wept and knee

s when I didn't follow her. I cried even more because of the pa

iple times. I will not leave this house. This is my

had already suffered at my school

ead no matter what happe

I looked down and held her toes, then pleaded

You didn't do great things!

up at her. I only see madness on her face and that hurts

yell

also human.. I.. I am a-also hurting.. but.. why a-are you showi

ue your existence! Go

hen gathered all my strength to stand up and face her. I know I lo

what you wa

g but cherish them. I can't hate and feel the l

! So

ve this family. I won't come back. I

yway. I would do what I was saying. I willkeep my pro

or. I wasn't completely on the outside when she slammed the door shut. I let

elf. Tears were flowing down my cheeks. I

oves you

a broken record that was pla

d to myself, giving comfort becau

. Later on, I saw an available bench. It's also lonely.

very close

how difficult it is to live by yourself. No ot

y over? I have already started to build my so-called

ing at nothingness. I can feel the sticky thing o

rvive this challenge. Just move. You m

ome if He knew you cou

ind me. I didn't have the urge to look at that

, then you can pass through it.

le his hands were on the inside of the pocket of his coat. He was also wearing a

don

I wouldn't hear his laugh. But I am sure it wa

om the other side befo

." By just reminding me of what had just ha

wly, making sure that my voice was

ting off of leaning. He then adjusted his

walked away. He didn't even tell me a

kind of a c

ce, I ran towards him and held the fabric of his clot

emphatically. I don't know

didn't look back at m

sarcasm. "Sta

am

ort you to

o

n? Why doesn't he care at all?

cene if y

urse,

s world. Having that atti

turned into a good child. I was not just in myself, okay

how can it be easy? I don't have a scar yet. I'm still

nge your

standing. I didn't have the urge to run

How can I chang

to chang

e wha

self just because of the opinion of som

myself. And the idiot me obeyed. It's like I transformed into another

want you t

tra. They are not good for you. You have to be w

me smile and feel embittered. Knowing that they are giving b

of my strength before walking in a known direction. I am heading to a café. I will t

my skin and, just like that, my tears fell from my eyes again.

y thing I could hear was the sounds of mugs a

ve her a faint smile before roaming my eyes around. This caf

slowly and looked down. What if they wouldn't accept me as

manager." My face twinkled after hearing her

empt and I didn't fail. I am thankful. After eve

ng in her swivel chair inside the office. The crew in

ng, fill th

ted. She guided me on how to fill it up and w

th, thankful for the bles

much. This mea

t I must do next is to find an apartment for me to live in. I have

ant to tell the admins and dean about the things that were happening t

have not been done yet. I will continu

k to you, w