Just because you hate me

i

morning, prayed Fajr (one of the five obligatory prayers of Islam), and headed downstairs to make breakfast. I was

us

renovated it last year with all things modern. New marble countertops for the kitchen with a new front double door fridge, electric stove and those fancy bulbs that hung from

ly ones we were close enough to call our second home. Yes, I’d call that a home because there was life in there, oxygen. . .whenever I was there, it felt like I could finally breathe. His sister, one of

le flooring underneath my bare feet felt like a welcoming relief against my otherwise tense body as I finally went inside. The

refully tucked the loaf of bread under my arm. I could be a queen at balancing things and sometimes wondered if

e stove. They made a little too loud of a noise, making me cringe slightly since I didn’t want

death considering there were no other righteous owners to his business. Dad converted them all to shoe factories and saved one for me, well,

gn my own house, build it like Beyza and I had always imagined our house to look like. I still had the Pinterest board saved on my laptop wh

tely clutch my shirt. I gasped, gasped again and again and again. Tears burned my eyes—I commanded myself to breat

where every morning flowers blossomed inside my

trigonometry and the area of a circle would be an understatement of a century. And speaking of, the

ay do, Ciara?” Dad loved to put remind me what he

’ve heard.” Cars wheezed past us on the opposite lane as we patiently waited behind a re

serious Dad-mode tone except I only chuckled at his faile

ed at the man which I called my Dad on a daily. But at that moment I couldn’t be sure of t

g hot red and angry. More frustrated actually. I couldn’t believ

oncerned about your rapid weight loss and how thin you look. He said he’d make sure y

elders, especially my Dad, but I really was standing by the edge at that moment. If Aydin

ing great as y

e to a failure. I kept looking ahead, feigning annoyance, but truth was, I couldn’t be angry with my him for more than 3 minutes. I’d just have to face the awkward situation with Be

for the best,” Dad’s small voice

ese past few months so if I said it was a bear hug, I meant it literally and metaphorically both. I squeezed him tightly before let

c montage. At least in most movies I’ve seen. I’d like to counter agree to it because mine was nothing like it

ad. And I saw him no less than that in rank. In fact, I was this close to calling him my father. With a head full of gray

e straight A’s on my tests. I had begged Dad to change schools after Beyza’s death because honestly quite frankly, she was my only best friend/friend at this school, a place where there were no lone survivors. Y

lly stepping in. I willed the bad memories to leave through the exit, but every step just like every day here was a

was for the O-Level students; just girls. The other one, however was A-level co-ed. Also known as the pla

gs to a whole new level of emergency when literally there were ten students in the office on a daily basis. It was a big hassle and one that the admin was clearly sick and tired o

elped me focus more on the subject than the racing thoughts of my mind that took weird directions all the time. It was also a way to avoid the girls who for some reason just stopped talking to m

e of registers and notebooks on her high platform desk, seconds later her eyes behind those glasses shifting to us in a swift motion; alert, attentive, assertive. Such young fea

early in the morning in extreme winters?” she joked. Nobody laughed. I smiled, because it was r

ah was a real sweetheart, and she even shared her love life with me one day when Dad was late to

huckled lightly. “Page 27,

About halfway through the class, two girls from A-level knocked on our classroom door with smiles on their make-up coated faces. I knew

arah paused her lec

r asked us to invite all of the eleventh grade to the play that i

ased. Her voice and the wrinkles between he

d sheepishly. “I

e never missed chances to be around high school boys. Such celebr

a line and head tow

s, and the girls of Grammar High School jumped out of