Insane Desire

y's

for once. Don't get me wrong, I like being alone a

against one of her legs and I can see the outline of a syringe. Meds, just in case I get... rowdy. I

for a perfectly legit reason. On reflex I shrink away f

word is that this woman is the best there is, to get mute kids to talk, fix their problems, and things like that. T

pt f

and she keeps trying to make me come out of my

A lot of people have been hired to try to help

m permanen

door. People know I don't like physical contact. Actually, I desp

s why they're keeping

d room that they call a cafeteria. It's got a few tables and chairs, and a food line. Right now the kids are lining up with plates to get their

dare to come up there. I've never figured out why

wn the line, not even looking at what's being put on my plate. I

n, dropping my tray in front of me. Looking down at the plate, I pick up my f

people watching me, so I look up through my bangs and see a few of the doctor

ctions made the room go quiet, since this was sort of unusual behavior for me. I'm usually quiet an

where else besides my room, because there are cameras everywhere. A

slo

're wonde

use I'm going b

dded

need a pa

am I l

n insane asylum by most, the best in the countr

y tell me

ng to his colleagues ' she's crazy' or 'something is deeply wrong in that girl's brain.' I've

if I'm

how I've been plac

ssacred in front of your eyes, or if you sometimes hear voices in your head, or an

ack 5 y

d in the corner and lean against the padded wall, then for no reason at all I sta

ng our faces. Whatever, I hope they know that just because t

lipped and caught my skin instead of the fabric. It had left bloody trails on the walls and I look, at them, watching as the blood sinks in

down upon me, with blood trails leading to the floor on either side of me. Maybe they would pity me

e wall, brings flashes of mem

hool, on my own, swinging my Sailor Moon lunchbox on it

so I lean over and tie it up. As soon as

e before. Walking closer like any inquisitive child my age

w what it means. Is he doing something for Hallo

ast glance at the scared expression on

he town, where I'm walking at now, has spatters

kittles or gummy bears. Instead all I see is the dark red stain on the white and black tiled floor. At first I think that the shop owner sp

sie is lying on the floor, eyes wide open like the man bef

p! It's not funny anymore!"

sn't wake

hback

errified, I stare around the room, expe

th

ll that I have to press whenever this happens. It automatically signals

n, and scoot forwards, reaching up towards it. F

es me lying there, convulsing, on the floor, she swiftly kneels next

then everything

he floor in an awkward position. Stretching out, I feel some bones in my back pop and crack, s

n, the doctors won't give me any. And they have to know that if they don't give me my pills I'll die. Literal

ho

ause electronics and things like that aren't allowed. Whenever someone asks, the answer always revolves around the fact that it would be too easy to make something to hurt yourself or so

rking my head up, I stare at them with a questioning gaze. Wordlessly, the doctor who basically runs this place, moti

to a bare hallway. I can see the doors lining the walls, but I know they're offices and no

myself. They are all examining me like I'm examining them, but I don't care. Shifting my eyes from them, I analyze the space, taking in all the differe

e is really the best, but only in this country. This

s are here to get you... better." The doctor explains

it's goin

ow where your room is, go straight there after you

le, and it's just me and those

ndow on the wall, that's specifically for patients. It's like one of those that you see in psychiatrist offices, bu

nard Mark and Cole Jacobs." I notice how they don't have the same last name, a

to get

et to know each other." Blake s

se he's supposedly the best in the world, that I'm

extinct, I blink a few times, but don't say anything. After a

talked on the first try. But not me, not by a long shot. The

s shall we? And come up with

en a drawer, then pulls out a huge folder

've got

nly, flipping through all the pages. I can see that

ard look absolutely shocked at how many phobias I have.

one of them is what we're

e says them, remembering why

of being in crowded, public places li

bia – fear

ia - fear of p

– fear of being t

or arachnophobia

–fear of thunder and lightnin

or carcinophobia

bia – fear of

ia – fear of c

iophobia – fear of being l

hobia – fear

phobia- fea

phobia- fea

obia- fe

f home surroundings (D

of speaking in public

fear of saints

haptephobia – fe

fear of priests

or Lalophobia –

– fear of tornado

a- fear of being

bia – fear

a – fear of r

– fear of death

ar of falling in lo

or Uranophobia

ia- fear of

obia – fe

ring a deformed child or fear

a – fear of dep

fear of pregna

certain places or situat

tiphobia –

y-four in all, just parts of what's wrong with me. Those are just the

ons' aren't going t

en, dama

ook surprised. I bet they didn't expect me to have all of those problems. I

wn the hall and back up the stairs to my cell. The door opens when I come close, and slams shut behind me. I

t I think we can do it." Cole says qu

g for me, so I eat quickly and then place the

ut how stupid everyone is