Insane Desire

y's

I only leave my cell to go to the bathroom or eat something

icking at a loose thread on the floor. The one good thing

ees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. Staring up at the ceiling that looks so far away, I think of what it would be like to be out of he

y life and never get out. My life will wither away into nothing, I'll be an old

s, and counselors. And all of those people were just out to fix me, make me be the way they want me

there is no hope for me, makes me want to be myself

en stand still for a minute, staring at the door. I know tha

the night and someone could come in and kill me in my sleep.

on't see the door open, I don't see Cole and Leonard enter, I don't see them stand in front of me,

in and I can see no more, y

......

urroundings. I have no idea where I am. I'm not i

the heck

nd by ropes around my wrists. Almost hyperventilating no

– fear of being

e and Leonard. My subconscious whispers something to me, and I lat

were the ones t

s tightly shut, I try not to think of what mi

d things are

y was ma

n't

t be t

e despi

A.

s the ropes off tha

that girl!" He says

t surprised. He grins happi

o get the blood flowing again

s office. I had been tied down to

n't come freely, so I had to do that." Bla

en I don't comply with what he said, he shoved me back and just the minimal amoun

ou. I think so at least." He say

ng happened." His voice says softly an

cry and scream. Flashes of blood and dead bodies everywhere, pictu

myself out of the coma like

emember, I don't

to myself,

he strong hold his voice and the memories have created on my mind, and as

the h

he s

e sheep

my ha

re st

a skidding sto

e of 16 or 17, standing a

ming, he turns his

own to look at his clothes. He's wearing some sweatpants an

asks quietly, takin

ex, I w

sent me here because I supposedly need 'help'. The doctors an

to look at him, puzzled. He's go

to share a r

AT

ey just said 'you'll be sharing a room with a girl named Lu

The crazy girl. The lunatic. The girl wh

ething?" He asks as I w

ly don't care as long as

nse, I k

into the room, running a hand through his hair. Again,

ospital issue gowns. And th

y most

ted on this hallway to change. Yes, I would accept t

clothes, I dump the hospital gown int

ite mine, but it isn't blocking my corner, because it's up against the w

e, but I completely ignore him and go to sit on my bed. The clothes I'm wearing consist of

dow and wish I was out there, away from here. E

oot Tendon a glare

u." He promises and I close m

first one to keep his

lying on his back with his hands under his head and staring up at the ceiling. Quietly, as a

ndon get up a

cafeteria, I don't bother grabbing foo

in front of me, with the 'food' on his tra

.." Shrugging, he sta

what the doctors are doing now. Crushing up the patient's pills and putting them in th

it l

n's

a certain spark that made me think that she di

was di

e else here. When I first was dragged into this building, I noticed

ure so I asked her. Judging by the way she didn't say a

e she went to sleep s

ud and clear, as if she

. Tou

she doesn't want t

ise that I wouldn't tou

ep. I stared at her for a minute, taking in how peaceful she looked, then I divert

didn't seem just right,

n lots of stairs, to the bottom floor, and through some double doors. We enter what I assume to be a

be gross. But this is going to be my only source of nouris

ross from Lucy, and she gives me a strange l

looks down at the food and a frown graces her face fo

mewhat normal, I can taste something...differen

od was

done eating d

same. After breakfast you get your pills. After lunch you get your pills. After dinner you get your pills. If you act up during the day, you get way

lse has only got about three or four pills in thei

ook over

with pills of all different colors. Another cup is n

ething in c

elief. I know how she feels. It's hard to go day by day, different than everyone else.

stationed at different places around the perimeter,

my cups, then

ore this, I would just dump them when no one was looking, as I had done on many oc

out anything anymore, and everything's always all right and nothing can go wrong. Your eyes glaze over

out anything anymore, and everything's always all right and nothing can go wrong. Your eyes glaze over

zzy, for a few moments, then my muscles relax and I feel like jell-o. Whenever I try to move, it feels like t

eling of being helpless with