Insane Desire

ane Desir

y's

ot to run, the little girl is overwhelmed by everything.

girl calls when she steps in the

whispers, walking up stairs and to her mother's ro

en on the floor, feathers from the pillows still floating

umbling, only to see her mom lying half on and hal

n her face so fast and hard. Numb, she walks out of the house and leaves it all behind, she under

that she had listened to her mother that morni

up on a bench where the buses normally stop, ju

e shaking. I can't see straight and nothing is staying still. W

to me, I barely manage to get one out without spilling the

.....

y, I pass out again, f

ns. Luckily for me, the pills had been right beside

ond time, I take stock of my surroundings,

put me back in my cell? Maybe they cha

t me as she sets the tray on the foot of my bed. Glaring back, I act like I'm going t

ood, I immediately know it's been d

rred soup, so stirred that it's too thin, the bread that

I go to my door and to the slot at the bottom where they c

n the corner. Flicking it off, I take the pill bottle and thr

t being stalked

As soon as the door opens, I jump up and stand in a tens

er it is walks through the door, then turns to me. Sighing in r

s next to me, and he'

rds patrolling every way out, even the air ducts." He says, glancin

ed up in this small padded room." He whispers, looking up at the window. "I should be going now. But just remember that

into a sort of fetal position, staring at the slits of light from the window as they

little shivering 8 year old body into a sitting position.

on the bus and into a seat, just as the bus turns around and leaves the

t 18 years old. He glances up when the bus passes, but then looks back

tance I can see the blood spatter on the cold pavement

g to comfort me. But all I can see is the image of the blood spraying o

n I knew I possessed, all I can think about is gett

quit talking or lett

ng breaths through my unwilling throat, I concentrate on trying to ge

the room spins. Blackness closes in on me for a few seconds, befor

e slick orange surface. Coughing now, trying to get a

comes from where my heart is supposed

tle, and this time I'm focusing on actually getting it open. With ho

ly, I can only wonder if I was too late, if

I see when I open my eyes. Am I in Heaven? Of

voice comes from somewhere to my lef

is there, watching me wit

e crazy girl." He walks closer to my line o

ound people, it makes me feel like they can h

room in this building. You had a bad seizure, you died for a few

l these people calm

o promise you won't run away." He looks at m

n't work for me.

raps that were on my wrists and ankles. As soon as he's done, I s

t down the hall, his aggravated yell following after me. Everyone

I know I'll be safe, I

ure, but they wouldn't let us see you!" Leonard

ouch, leaning back against the wall. Looking up

ds, and it makes me feel better. Blake gets me something to

e asks softly, and the expression

ane. And I can't change that until you talk and allow people to touch you. I've also heard that

illed?" He whispers. Cole and Leonard look shocked when I look awa

I've hurt myself. Whether it's going on a hunger strike, or digging my nails into my skin

omeone hurts me, I react by hurting them back. If I think of something I did to hurt

ng out of this place, never. It's only a matter of time until

going to be my home

s me up to my room, not touching me a single time. As he closes the door behind

crazy, I'm cr

razy' my th

horrible, I'm horr

h

a murderer, I'm a mu

inall

ell wasn'

are trying to get near me to see what new drugs they ca

d of the institution, that I've never gotten to see before, or I'm locked in Blake's office, having him t

away, Leonard will immediately turn around and walk in the opposite direction

So, I've taken to lashing out more. It's obvious that Blake's not

ion, who are lined up in front of all exits, armed with guns and things like that. I'm ignori

aming me for things, trying to guilt me into opening my mouth and saying t

ny time from then on, something

y, there

of the

nother session." When I don't get up, he re

h me. Reaching out so close that if I had jerked reflexive

lk behind him up to his office, where he l

unishments that you've received while here." H

the door on his head..." The list goes on from there. Being hung up by my wrists beca

ould only send their kids here if the kid had no hope left. When the session

ws I'm not just one more of those idiotic docile sheep called p

ll, I close myself in and sit

ws they aren't going to