The Unwilling Vestal

rial exhibition Manlia and Gargilia shared the second

ena queried, "what

aria replied. "I did

al is expected to control herself at all times, never to act without forethought, to reflect long before she acts, t

tructed to be a Vestal. I always knew it; I know it now and I am afraid

ened submissively enough, but vouchsafed not one word of self-defence, re

nce into the order of Vestals, I stand to you in the relation of parent

n the closest relation of fatherhood towards them. But since he went to live on the Palatine and made us a present of his house we have occupied all this Atrium which was built in the place of the two houses. Since then no one has bee

lso that for many years each Emperor has designated some priest as Pontifex of Vesta to be his deputy and to sta

r the deputy as my real spiritual father. If I feel inclined to confide I'll

piqued and

"will be far from please

report or whether you make any report or not," spoke

editated. "He has sent

e to come to me here. But as, in this case, I wanted to talk to him, I have asked for an audience and the day and the hour have been fixed. I am to have an audience to-morrow morning.

mb, Faltonius bo

she accompany Brinnaria

t go alone. In the first place it is my right, if I were only six years old, to have audience with the Emperor alone whenever I ask for it and as often as I ask for it. I am not going to abate an iota of my rights merely for my own comfort. In the second place, I must

e, not her having remained seated when Aurelius entered the Colosseum had so poignantly made her realize how exalted was a Vestal. She drove to the Palace alone, not in

t the guard in her honor, the formality with which she was conducted from corridor to corridor and from hail to hail, the immensity and gorgeousness of the vas

tic as possible and put her at her ease at once. He s

e Gegania, but you have really done nothing actually wrong. So do not agitate yourself

ext thing I shall do will be to procur

aimed, "you really should not speak

not a bit. I am just as serious as life and death. I have thought of nothing but suicide since Trebelli

ing," the Emperor said, comfortingly.

innaria, "you know that I d

ow," he as

anged. Every once in a while myself boils up in me under the scum of convention I've spread on top of the cauldron, so to speak. I don't mean to let go and be natural and spontaneous. I've done the awful thing before I know I'm going to do it. I didn't mean to pour the pork gravy over old Gubba's head; but she looked so funny I just did it witho

Emperor said, "you'

ighed, "but how about the ha

, not any harm that matter

"If you could make me perfectly sure of that, I

"I certainly should not encourage you to continue or repeat

not unfitted mys

eror me

t you were about to do, I should hold you gravely unfitted for your position. But you are manifestly sincere in your efforts to be all you ought to be and are

eting of all the colleges of pontiffs and put the question t

f I saw fit to call a synod and all the members of it held the same views and expressed them never so cogently, do you not realize that, if my views were contrary to theirs, it would be my view that would prevail; that it

d Chief Pontifex. To me you seem to speak as a kindly husband and father very sympath

ears old. Tell me precisely what is troubling you, for I must have failed t

me. It came over me with a rush that I was not only never going to be fit for a Vestal but that I wasn't fit for a Vestal and I hadn't been fit for a Vestal; that I not only was going to do harm, not only was doing harm, but had done harm. If the Parthians are devastating the frontier along the Euphrates and the Marcommani and the Quadi are storming the outposts along the Danube and the Rhine, perhaps that is because my presence in the Atrium is an offence in the eyes of Vesta, my prayers an affront to my Goddess, my care of her altar-fire an insult to her. I tremble to think of

ot done anything that justifies your com

replied. "Just now let us stick to the poin

arent who sees the soul of his own daughter looking at him out of the eyes of every little girl whose heart

scruples do you high credit. I will not say you are as pleasing to the Goddess as would be a grave and sedate ministrant, but I do solemnly decide and declare that you need have no furth

drew a d

d, "but I just know I'll boil over

r from month to month and from year to year. She will not be pleased with your lapses, if you lapse again, but she will be pleased at your

pose I am as detestable in the sight of my Goddess as the Oculata sisters were, and for a similar reas

never a girl like you. What do you mean? What can you mean? You cannot mean what you seem to mean. Explain

ed, "but I dread that you cannot.

out of her mother's care and those few months in the care of Causid

But you said yourself that Vesta can read my thoughts and I knew that without your telling me so. Suppose that my thoughts are as abo

st frightening yourself to death with vapors like a child afraid of its own shadow. Be

drew a d

hat, before I was taken for a Vestal,

ied. "All Rome knew of his ride from Fa

was in lov

at," the Empe

"I can't make myself stop loving Almo. I always

you, to marry you the very day you are free. I assumed that he would not be so constant unless he believed you equall

ria said. "I cannot feel that I ha

nor did the only Licinia who ever completed her service. But Appellasia married and so did Quetonia and Seppia. Others have married after their service, though it is thought unlucky. The right to leave the order impli

t for a few days or months appear to me very different from looking forward to it from the first hour of my service, and knowing not only that I mean to marry, but just the man I mean to marry, and loving him all the time, and longing fo

eror st

" he comman

audience hail; paced its ful

reseated

ep soundly?

il my maid wakes me up in the morning. Many nights, but not every night, nor most nights, I wake up with a dreadful start, as if I

when you wake up in

r horribly, used to wake up in the dark and feel as if, if I could not get to Almo right then, at once, I should die, as if I should be choked to death by the thumping of my heart. I used to feel that way at dinner, when out visiting any time of day, for hours. I never feel that way now. And after Daddy and Segontius made up their quarrel and it was arranged that I was to marry Almo, I used to feel as if it would kill me to wait four years, I used to grit my teeth to think of it, of waiting four years for him; used

seum, as a desirable and delightful time sure to come but by no means to be hurried, as something I can very well do without until the time comes. The thought of Almo is always somewhere back in

e you a ministrant most acceptable to your Goddess, as a most fit and suitable Vestal. I judge that no girl naturally austere, frigid and self-contained could be half so pleasing to Vesta as a tempestuous child li

itable for her duties. Vesta understands and is glad of your good intentions and pleased with your struggles to master yourself. You are most ac

ia simply, "and I sh

REVOLT OF