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Yvette

Chapter 4 FROM EMOTION TO PHILOSOPHY

Word Count: 5819    |    Released on: 29/11/2017

ent out alone to the place where Servigny had rea

m this spot without havi

ummed up the points of the situation and the means of extricating herself from it. What should she do if her mother would not accept the conditio

aughters of the people, seemed a little disgraceful, unworthy of her. She thought of becoming a governess, like young girls in novels, and of becoming loved by the son of the house, and then m

is Yvette

en, even that would have been

aving only an intermittent and fleeting piety. No one would save her by marrying her, bein

and really great and strong, which should se

flecting, without looking at death, without understanding that it is the end without rec

souls, and she thought of the means which she would employ. But they all seemed to her

hand. She decided against the rope; it was so common, the poor man's way of suicide, ridiculous and ugly; and against water because she knew h

asphyxiate herself by this process. And she felt at once a sort of joy in her resolution, an

he asked a little chloroform for a tooth which was aching. T

d a second phial of poison. She obtained a third at Cha

k, she ate heartily with the pleasurable a

ry, and now feeling tranquil herself

day with us. I have invited the Prince,

n, and took a ticket for Paris. And during all the afternoon, she went from druggist to druggist, buying fr

r, at one stroke, a quarter of a liter. She did not go out on Saturday; it was a lowering

the next morning, a blue costume which was very becoming to her, wishin

ver her body. "Dead! I shall speak no more, think no more, no

r eyes, discovering a thousand things in herself, a secret character in her physiognomy which she had

ook at oneself. But without the mirror we would never know ourselves. Eve

es, all her poses, and all her movements. "How pretty I am!" she thought. "Tomorrow I shall be dead, th

orrible anguish oppressed her heart. The bright sunlight fell in flo

be changed in the world, not even her bedroom. Yes, her room would remain just the same, with the same bed, the same c

again, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And again a great shudder of horror ran over her whole body, and she did not know how she could disappear without t

ices and of calls, the bustling gaiety of country house parties,

ose, without reflecting, and looked out. They all applauded. Th

t that these men had come to amuse themselves

akfast. "I will show the

ing of the resolution of the Christian martyrs go

g in an affable but rather haug

cross to-day

tone: "Today, I am going to commit fol

rd Monsieur de Be

Malmsey. I will take you all afte

introduced the two newcomers to her, the C

at no one should guess anything,-so that they should be all the more astonished, and should say: "

ch wine as she could stand, to nerve herself, and two little glasses of brandy, and she was flushed as she left the table,

talion, Servigny. I choose you as sergeant; you will keep outside the ranks, on the right. You will make the foreign guard m

while the two newcomers made believe to beat the drum. Mo

be reasonable, you wil

me, I don't care much about it. To-morrow it will not occur. So m

ok at them; the citizens came to their doors; the travelers on the little railw

water wi

sat a pale seriousness, a sort of sinister calm. Servigny interrupted his trumpet blasts only to shout orders. The Prince and

uded; young men jeered, and a stout gentleman with his wife on hi

nd. When the time was up she refused to dismount, constraining her escort to take several more rides on the back of these children

She made them buy ridiculous toys which they had to carry in their hands. The Prince and the Chevalier began

wers in a peculiar manner, with a shy and mischievous glance, and a st

me the most jump into

omen in white aprons looked on in stupor. Tw

ot one of you capable of jumpi

t into the river. His plunge cast a splash over as far as Yvett

ound a little piece of wood, and throwing

ck in his mouth, like a dog, he brought it ashore, and th

e," said she, and with a friendl

ntly exclaimed: "Are

"Can people amuse th

ld not take a plunge f

ing in his face: "You are a goose, my

id all these people seem," she said. Then raising her eyes to the co

gny, dejected and dripping, ceased playing on the trumpet, and walked with a gloomy air at the side o

s what you call having a good time, isn't it? You

er; and suddenly Belvigne perceived that

s the m

me alone, it does

, Mademoiselle, come, what is the

atiently: "Will

eart, she began to sob so violently, that she could no longer walk. She covered h

, quite bewildered, repeating: "

e, so that people may not see you weeping in the street. Why d

She did not appear again until the dinner hour, very pale and serious. Servigny had bought from a country storekeeper a workingman's costume, with velvet pantaloons, a flowered waist

lgar and clumsy. She listened, in despair. Servigny, just a bit tipsy, was imitating the common workingman, cal

She first took a shee

ay, nine o'cloc

I may not becom

ETT

a post

dear moth

pe, and addressed it

ittle table within reach of her hand, and placed upon it

nd gentle perfume, in light breaths; and she stood for a moment enjoying it. The moon, in its first q

sobs, nearly bursting, almost suffocated her. She felt in her a n

er story, which was constantly interrupted by bursts of lau

for telling that sort of t

the cotton. A strong, sweet, strange odor arose; and as she brought the pi

his deadly vapor, closing her eyes, and forcing herself to stifle in her mind

Something lively and agreeable penetrated even to the extremities of her limbs, even to the tips of her toes and fingers and entered her flesh, a sort of dreamy intoxication, of soft fever. She saw that the cotton was dry, and

e night, the occasional barkings of a dog, the short cry of

she began to breathe in the fumes again. For a few moments she felt nothing; then tha

, eager now for that physical and mental sensati

these away from her, without her perceiving it. The chloroform had drawn away her body, leaving

akened agility, her mind leaped to the most diverse ideas, ran through a thousand adventures, wandered in the past, and lost itself in the h

guish the words, which to her seemed to have a different m

he saw people on the shore, and these people spoke very loudly; then she was again on land, wi

s which did not astonish her, as if she had known the people, for through her dreamy

awakened, deliciously benumbed, and she

e of physical comfort, that she was not in haste to finish wit

had changed in her spirit. She no longer thought as she had done just now. The chloro

w, and easy and certain. Everything in life was sweet, everything was charming. But as she wished to dream on still, she poured mo

orn the country in the fanciful intoxication of the drug. That face swung in

o had come in and seate

ing her wings, borne by the wind as by a caress. She moved in the air, which kissed her skin, and she went so fast, so fast, that she

hich she had longed for some time ago. She was not at all astonished at this deed, and she looked at Servign

aking, and she heard some one calli

Then Servigny's voice

candle, Mam'

orus: "Mam'zelle Yvett

r face to breathe the fresh air, while nevertheless her room was filled with the asphyxiating odor of the na

one to sleep leaving the light on her table. I will send Clemence

selle!" After a moment's silence, she repeated: "Mademoiselle, Madam

ittle, then knocked

elle, Mad

the servant went away and

to sleep, her door is bolted,

Obardi

st not stay

vigny, they all gathered under

urrah! Mam'z

beneath the moon, over the sleeping country; and they heard it

said: "I only hope that nothing has

sh trained along the wall and buds not yet opened,

d out. Others fell upon her dress, others upon her hair, while others g

oking voice, cried: "

this is not natural; I am goi

valier grew

at favor I ask; it is too good a means, an

ung girl was joking, cried: "We

bed, repeated: "And yet

aimed with a dr

he Duke, we a

said the Chevalier. He took a five-franc piec

aid he. I

in in his turn saying to

d "Head." I

all the others a chan

ite him, exclaimed in his insole

d held out the gold piece to his rival,

spinning it up, said:

balcony said: "Climb up, Prince." But the P

oking for?" aske

e-a ladder." A gen

ng, said: "We

ms, as strong as those

b to that

al letting him go, he swung there, suspended

h all his strength; the hands lost their grip and the Prince fell in a heap on Monsieur de Belvi

elvigne,

ar boy, I am thin

you must be used

ace to you, m

is just what

n with a leap, clinging to the balcony, he drew hims

t him, applauded. But he imm

unconscious." The Marquise uttered

nded to be dead. Her mother entered di

atter with her, what i

ttle of chloroform which

ugged herse

ar to her heart

we can resuscitate her

red, repeated: "A

elling-

at once, and leave the door

tte, my daughter, my daughter, listen, answer me, Yve

me one said: "She ought to be undressed." And the Marquise, who had lost her head, tried to undress

ot,-I c

igny opened and from which he poured out half upon a handkerch

es," said he. "It

les, cheeks, and neck

a skirt over her chemise, he raised her in his arms and carried her to the bed, quivering,

all the men with their eyes fixed on Yvette in bed, he was seized with a jealous irritation, and advanced toward them. "Gentlem

which was dry and

lover, and with her head uplif

r, oh, s

ad the address. He understood and thought: "Perhaps it would be better if the Marquise should not

I may not becom

ett

dear moth

calls for reflection." And he

ousness but that she dared not show it, from shame, from humiliation, and from fear of questioning. The Mar

we must hav

s all over. Come, go out a minute, just a minute, and I promise you that she will kiss you

bed, took Yvette's hand and sa

liked never to move, never to speak, and to live like that forever. An infinite c

d refreshing breath of a fan made of all the leaves of the trees and of all the shadows of the night, of the mist of rivers, and of all the flowers too, for the roses

pervading intoxication of the drug, and she had no longer at all the desire to die, but

: "Mam'zelle Yvet

ided to ope

reviving: "Come! Come! wha

y poor Muscade,

you into a pretty scrape! Come, you

th an almost imperceptible smile. He drew from his

show this to

t more to say for the situation seemed

rd things to bear. I understand

red: "You

ess, of weakness; and suddenly she raised both her arms, as if she would draw

ey remained thus,

y. She smiled at him now, most tenderly; and, with bo

call your mot

ust a second mor

e so low that it could scarcely be hear

ut some one was walking near the door. He arose with a bound, and called in his ordinary

covering her countenance with tears, while Servigny with radiant soul and quivering body went

hangeth of

ill trust in

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