A Mere Accident

the end of the long passage. Kitty, as she watered the flowers in the greenhouse, often wondered why John had cho

u like to come o

on't mind; just as y

Norton looked at the girl, and it was often on her lips to say, "If you had only flirted, if you had only paid him some attentions, all might have been different." But heart-broken though she was, Mrs Norton could not speak the words. The gi

nce been suppressed; she did not remember by what Pope; but a Pope had grown tired of their intrigues, and had suppressed the order. She made these accusations in moments of passion, and immediately after came deep regret.... How wrong of her to speak ill of her religion, and to a Protestant! If John did become a priest it would be a punishment for her sins. But what was she saying? If John became a priest, she should thank God for His grea

Place alone was impossible, and she begged for Kitty. The parson was loth to part with his daughter, but he felt there w

nd dine with us every day; but I shall not le

us, father dear?" said Kitty, le

ay," cried

s Norton; and with a sigh she sank back on t

a subject of gossip for a month-for a fortnight an absorbing occupation. Most of the people who had been at the hunt breakfast were at the ball, and Kitty had plenty of partners. These suggested husbands to Mrs Norton, and she questioned Kitty; but she did not seem to have thought of the ball except in the light of a toy which she had been allowed to play with one evening. The young men she had met there had apparently interested her no more than if they had been girls, and she regretted John o

, John is coming up the

But no; let's take him rather coolly. I believe half his eccentricity is only put on because he wish

our letters. It really was not my fault; I have been passing through a very terrible state of mind lately.... And how do you do, Kitty? Have yo

he rooks

the ball at Steyning? I he

was deli

st go round to the stables and tell Walls to take

ome time?" said Mrs Norton,

onths-six weeks. I have some arrangements to make,

he room, and he left his mot

n waited the pleasure of the young man to speak his mind. He seemed, however, in no hurry to do so; and the manner in wh

to be a pries

but not a

u had a quarrel w

is repugnant to me-fashionable friends, confidences, meddling in family affairs, dining out, letters from ladies who need consolation.... I don't mean anything wrong; pray don't misunderstand me. I merely mean to say that I hate their meddling in family affairs. Their confessional is a kind of marriage bureau; they have always got so

n up your rooms in

tled definitely, but I do not think I sh

e determined on b

, but not

t th

Middle Ages. The long straight folds of habits falling over sandalled feet, the great rosaries hanging down from the girdles, the smell of burning wax, the large tonsures, the music of the choir; I know nothing like it. Last Sunday I heard them sing St For

se; how dare you, sir? Don't at

speak of what is uppermost in my mind. I have determined t

have burst into violent words had not the last words, "and

nd in her chair. "You came down here to b

gone so far he felt he must proceed. Besides, to-day, or to-m

know how repugnant this mock Italian architecture is to

t you intend to pull down the house of you

w; she had spoken the fulness of his thought. Yes,

ery. Why shouldn't I? I am resolved never to marry; and I have no one except those dreadful cousins to

rton g

do not wish to mortgage the property. For the present I am determined only on a few alterations. I have them all in my head. The billiard room, that addition of yours, can be turned into a chapel. And the casements of the dreadf

cannot surrender our desire, and it lies heavy and burning on our hearts. It is so easy for age, so hard for youth to make sacrifices. Youth is and must be wholly, madly selfish; it is not until we have learnt the folly of our aims that we may forget them, that we may pity the sufferings of others, that we may rejoice in the triumphs of our friends. To the superficial therefore, John Norton will appear but the incarnation of egotism and priggishness, but those who see deeper will have recogni

e immeasurable ideal which lies before them, clear, heavenly, and crystalline; the sea into which they would plunge their souls, but in whose benedictive waters they may only dip their fingertips, and crossing themselves, pass up the aisle of human tribulation. We suffer in proportion to our passions. But

youth as a time of happiness;

resistance. You think John Norton did not suffer in his imperious desire to pull down the home of his fathers and build a monastery! Mrs Norton's grief was his grief, but to stem the impulse that bore him along was too keen a pain to be endured. His desire whelmed him like a wave; it filled his soul like a perfume, and aga

n conjunction with the new order of things never grew into the painful precision of thought in her mind. She saw but the show side; she listened as to an account of private theatricals, and in spite of Mrs Norton's visible grief, she was amused when John described himself walking at the head of his monks with tonsured head and a great rosa

ing which divided the green sward from th

alterations it will harmonise with the downs and the flat-flowing country, so English with its barns and cottages and rich agriculture, and there wi

Mrs Norton says that it will be impossible to alter Italian

of course consult an architect, although really I don't see there is any necessity for so doing, but just to be on the safe side; for in architecture there are many practical difficul

tty; will it be r

e exactly like that; but I will read you my

done by building out a projection the entire width of the building, and one storey i

e gables

ther gables. The entrance would be formed with clustered columns and richly moulded poi

m steep gables, the roof being heightened to match. T

pex? What wor

ined, Kitt

ose window. You see the rose window in the drawing," said

but why don't you

wering John

caded round with small columns with

f present Ionic columns, carry up oct

drawing. These are th

are the p

aments a

battlemented parapets and pinnacles at all corners, and

th cathedral glazings, and, instead of the present flat, a sloping roof will be carried up and finished agains

ctions at intersection of small gable

erted into a chapel, by build

iard-room; why shouldn't the monks play billiar

n in its present form, it would be ludicrous to a degree, whereas it can be converted very easily into a chapel. We must have a chapel-buil

re always speaking abou

d vaulted ambulatory will be laid round the house. Later on I shall

t tired of being a monk, and then the

en my alterations are carried into effect. Beside, why should I be ti

w days ago; and an architect, too, had come down from London. He was the ray of hope in Mrs Norton's life. For although he had loudly commended the artistic taste exhibited in the drawing, and expressed great wonderment at John's architectural skill, he had, nevertheless, when que

n with John's dreams, the practical architecture of the experienced man seemed altogether lacking in expression and in poetry of proportion; and comparing them with his own cherished project, John hung over the billia

es and turrets on the cloth during dinner, and he went up to his room, not to bed, but to re

lling petals, and in the rich shadow the candle burns brightly. The great bridal bed yawns, the lace pillows lie wide, th

ter walls would not be strong enough to take the large gables and roof. Although the chapel could be

de to putting in new arched entrance. Bu

window co

he front projection would throw the fr

r the difficulty. Now if we could only manage to keep my front ... if my design fo

of meaning and light. He might

nt arm-chair, the toilet-table shapeless with muslin-of the hideous laws of the world and the flesh, ever at variance and at war, and ever defeating the indomitable aspirations of the soul. John ordered his room to be changed; and, in the face of much opposition from his mother, who declared that he would never be able to sleep there

ing suddenly conscious of the presence of God, he fell on his knees and prayed. He prayed that he might be guided aright in his undertaking, and that, if it wer

not keep his attention fixed on the book, it appeared to him dreary and stupid. His thoughts wandered. He thought of Kitty-of how beautiful she looked on the background of red geraniums, with the soft yellow cat on her shoulder, and he wondered which of the four great painters, Manet, Degas, Monet, or R

ee or four days, and would not be able to go down to Sussex again before the end of the month. Very much annoyed, John spent the evening thinking

tty?" he ask

she has a headache, and

a long silen

Brighton.... I must re

e not really determined

ubject; each and all of us must do the best we can with

ng yourself ridiculous before the whole

e going to tal

nd the long string of coast towns lying below him, and far away. Lunch was on the table when he returned. After lunch, harassed by an obsession of architectural plans, he went out to sketch. But it rained, and resisting his mother's invitation to change his clothes, he sat down before the fire, damp without, and feverishly irritable within. He vacillated an hour between his translation of St Fortunatus'

ssex. Either of two things: I must alter the architect

you? you are boring yourself because Kitty is

out what will, at the moment, wound me most is truly wonderful. I compliment you on your skill, but I confess I am at a loss to u

easant to see. His room was the first agreeable impression of the day. He picked up a drawing from the table, it seemed to him awkward and slovenly. He sharpened his pencil, cleared his crow-quill pens, got out his tracing-

nd yet a life not wanting in an ideal-a glorious ideal. He thought how his projects had always met with failure, with disapproval, above all failure ... and yet, and yet he felt, he almost knew there was something great and noble in him. His eyes brightened; he slipped into thinking of schemes for a monastic life; and then he thought of his mother's hard disposition and how she misunderstoo

ue, as the architect said, that it would throw all the front rooms into darknes

ent, and how clever, her age being taken into consideration. She understood all you sa

at low, sudden laugh-she was pleasanter company than his mother, she was pleasant to have in the house, she interrupted many an unpleasant scene. Then he remembered what his mother had

amentation died in great vague spaces. Ideas fell.... Was this all; was this all he had struggled for; was he in love? A girl, a girl ... was a girl to soil the ideal he had in view? No; he smiled painfully. The sea of his thoughts grew calmer, the air grew dim and

coarse affection, to marriage, to

asted wit

ant sensation of lofty and elevating thought, a high id

but there was a melting sweetness in the other c

prayed for grace. But prayer was sour and thin upon his lips,

," he said, "I