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At Home with the Jardines

Chapter 5 HOW WE TAMED THE COOK

Word Count: 3570    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

ook. Therefore let the unmarried pass this over, feeling that the time for them to read it is not yet, but let those

you have already had a spoiled cook or not, rest assured that you will have one some day, and do n

ction does not exist, especially in cooks. But as even her failings leaned to virtue's side we bore and bore with her, making light of our inconveniences, and pretending not to notice that we

r breading and doing all the thrifty things one would do oneself, but which no cook ever born is expected to do nowadays. She had lived some years i

theory of hers she carried to

n of each dish as it came on the table. Why shouldn't each be perfect, forsooth, when no amount of coaxing or persuading, no amount of instructions beforehand or hints or orders could make that cook of ours lift a finger toward dinner

r ready?" the a

, but it will b

we used to take turns strolling carelessly into the kitchen as if to see what time it was, to investigate the progress of di

he Ang

you that we wanted dinner j

s,

six o'clock whe

ar would run off the track or you'd stop to talk to some friends,

or food. Then it worked on our tempers and grew anything bu

the battle with the cook. Shall we subm

uite made up my mind whether Mary is really amenab

before, and even in such good company as that of my hu

iled, and, while I have no objection to her ruling us in any way sh

careful!

I am going to investiga

respects food more tha

is that kindness won't

hat old woman obey me a

um without raising his voice and with no

ble you for

ack and lo

be severe with an

can easily deduce the length

come in at six, and at five we had teleph

d tea," said Aubrey,

I am hungry. I'm mad,"

. I am hungry

is the same as being mad

y gri

on't eat any dinner to-night, an

r!" I cried, in a wh

red. "You said yo

nd in plain view, Mary struck the Roman chime

of loveliness. Wedding-silver, wedding-glass, wedding-linen graced

ular night. Mary hovered around, watching to see how we liked it. We tast

inally demanded when she could stand it

ey. "I don't care for it.

y for to-morrow n

ire cigarette into his and I p

, Missis?" ask

said, wearily. "I'

ay," said A

tired to eat! But eating will do you

ngry at seven o'clock. Don't you remember, Aubrey,

re just like me. If you don't have your m

cent eyes to be met with than ours. We looked at her calmly until she lowered her gaze. It was

ed chicken. Oh, oh! Shall I ever forget it! I was so hungry b

nxious as if she were standing

the carving-fork, lo

you could eat a l

in my paws and run growling to a corner to devour th

eaning my head on my han

eat som

down the c

n't care

ve your luncheon, dea

I had an appointment

inued, for Mary's face was expr

wich and a g

he clock. It was

t is no wonder you can't eat. Your st

ish. It was a dish of fresh peas cooked with onions and lettuce. Petits pois à la paysan

dly, "I could have eaten every one of them. They look delicio

a lick at them!" implored Mary. "Ju

as trembling on the verg

e peas and chicken we saw them disappear through th

he Angel. "This will fetc

y to gnaw the napkin and eat my slipp

aways feel," murmured the Angel. "

"Fresh asparagus. I p

d it with her w

rite dish. Asparagus on toast. I looked at it longingly, feverishly! I was famishing. My throat was dry

speak. I was obliged

triumphantly. "You

That white-haired old woman's obstinacy in not giving us our dinner on time

mournfully, "see me re

to say nothing of the butter! Why, it's a sin! It's a mortal sin in you not to try it! See, Missis,

hat dish of asparagus and shovelling it down my throat in huge handful

closed my eyes. Th

lunch, and that was eight hours ago! Oh, Missis, dear! Ain't I the mean dog! Le

I go five minutes over the time when I expect

eaned back as if death were alr

on the ice," which course of treatment rendered them so crisp that to cut them with a sharp salad-fork was always to get a little dressing splashed in one's eye. Furthermore she arranged them in the best cut-glass dish in symmetrical rows with the scarlet tomatoes tucked invitingly in the centre. She presented us with such a dish on this evening. Then when Aub

I can go without a thing altogether, but I cannot be moderate. I really thought I was not hungry until Aubrey told me not to eat, and that,

ded hard for us to drink our

e any other cook would have been furious at us for not eating her delicious dinner, the dear old soul's rage was al

tion, for she knows to a dot how much there is of everything, and I cannot take an olive that she does not miss it and come and ask me if I took it, to avert su

e do?" murmur

. "Go out and buy something ready cooked,-something which leaves no trace,-something sm

as the outer

haps it was only my guilty conscience

mbus Avenue to get

O

ould take it into her head to come and help him off with his overcoat? She often di

of the elevator stealthily, and I

off your hat?" I said, as

ered. "I've got c

ttack from the rear. I put my

at I am going to bed now, so be

instantaneous minute, my poor dear child," sh

don't mind in the lea

I'll be letting you lift y

l looking wildly for a place of escape-still with his hat on. I motioned him into

but she must unhook me. And all that time my thoughts were on the cream puffs

d the Angel. He clanked as he came in,

eam puffs, he had four devilled crabs and two dill pickles, four

t hall to slam the door and hang up his hat and coat, otherwise

rey's pocket-knife, a paper-cutter, and a button-hook to eat with, and rat

Aubrey did up in a neat package, we raised the window, turned out the lights, and threw

pink skin and a blue ribbon around her neck, whose mistress used to lead her up and down in front of our apartment-house every evening. She

ck yard all alone, yapping and whining to get indoors. C

aim for the cement walk. Th

he hand of Providence. No one, who has not owned a big dog

n the walk, and such a series of agonized yelps from the frightened little beast resulted as I never be

ovidence was against us, for, at the identical moment that the bottle hit the corner of t

ly windows flew up, and as each head appeared the infuriated woman accused it of having thrown the bottle. I reached for the Angel's ha

sneaked up in the darkness

Mary would go on the stand and swear that

nutes before seven, and we heard that the white dog

" I sighed, in delight,

hite dog both i

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