Killing Hope

painted in black, fake stars at the ceiling that sh

ife. I don't want that anymore, but back then, i did. When i write down my nightmares, i still address them to Arnika, my fut

n i start reading the entry I was looking for. Inhaling in a deep breath. The entry,

Arn

e is such a wondeful feeling. But don't forget: Being and love and having a crush is different. Love is deep, solid, and you know it wont go away for quite some time. A crush makes you all g

g, Let me tell

one would care about this... but I am not. SO its just a silly littl

whole big. I noticed the things that I thought where Important unconciously. I didn't know it was an obsession. I

a bubble. She didn't feel the same thing for me. She did not need me. She was not a nice person at that time. Not I know it is because she allways acted like she was someone she was not. She didnt fulllfill what she wanted, and allways had a mask on. I for my part was weak around her. I did not have a pe

rame. Her hair was wet from showering, and she was all fresh. It was around christmas time. I for my part was all stinky, had old clothes on and was just mezmarized by the girl with the dyed, red hair infro

t myself up again. I didn't have any person to call mine in that time. I kind of know who I am but I don't. I don't have

l

i

ough that. You don't deserve that kind o

ning. What a wonderful incidence. How clueless i was about my past. How much i still felt at that time. How much I still feel now. I

f bed. My attention is dragged to everything unexpected happening. Rushing

the foyer and reach them. The look on his face when he sees me. The stranger. The stranger that made me live for love again. That made my nightmares stop for a couple of mo

tal thing?" i nod. "yeah, i told you about it a few months ago." I turn towards... him. "im so sorry i just left. I was never able to thank you." I grinned at him. "do you want to come inside? We can hang out a while." Hang out a while? Who says that these days? If i would be able to blush, i would have

om now on." He shot me a grin. Awkward silence stretched between us as i guided him to my room. "why don't you go to school?" his question stung right into m

my table like he was god dam feeling at home. "i want answers." I say as he still didn't respond. Instead, he inspected my room. It was like he was consuming in ea

e you where okay. And to be honest, i thought allot about you recently. I don't know, your just stuck in my head. And about the question

lly was worried about you." He smirks. Gulping due to his distance, i answer. "and even if

carefully now. You can't hate me. I'm way to muc

y room. I still stand there as i hear the front door closing. Later,