Miscellanea
y to E
st El
air in which I was providentially called upon to play so prominent a part, that it is with shame I reflect that the warning has been unheeded and the promise unfulfilled. Do not, dear fr
eroine is not always a heroine, dear Nell. I am full of childish terrors, and I assure you it is
intance of Mr. George Manners; and I think I can do no better than begin
t service this morning after all good Dr. Penn's injunctions, as last night's
ut over my head for some one prettier and more lively, which is not inspiring. I must not forget a little incident, as we came up the stairs into the ball-room. With my customary awkwardness I dropped my fan, and was about to stoop for it, when some one who had been following us darted forward and presented it to me. I curtsied low, he bowed lower; our eyes met for a moment, and then he fell behind. It was by his eyes that I recognized him afterwards in the ball-room, for in the momentary glance on the stairs I had not had time to observe his prominent height and fine features. How strangely one's fancy is sometimes seized upon by a foolish wish! My modest desire last night was to dance with this Mr. George Manners, the handsomest man and
hould be more lively, child! Men
itting still when he came out again with Mr. Topham. The music had just struck up, the couples were gathering; he was going to dance then. I looked down at m
in two seconds more my hand was in his arm, and he was saying in
it is Si
t, for once in my life, I was right. I did talk
picking up my fan.' To which he re
ooner that you were Mi
ee her with me on the s
no one b
the dance was so short on this particular occasion, I never could fathom; both had just ceased, and we were still chatting, when midnight struck, deep-toned or shrill, from all the clocks in the house; and, in the involu
Manners took it from him, and held it
hands;' and I drank, he q
orisons be all my
fore putting it to his lips. When the servant had taken it away, he
is the
presentiments, Miss
ever had a present
will bring me a huge, overwhelming misfortune: and yet I have just wished for a blessing of which I am vastly unworthy, but which, if it does come, will probably c
t I had some difficulty i
e taught to believe t
year. We are standing here safe and happy. Miss
o; but my face may have expressed it, for he changed the subject suddenly, and could not be indu
year to you,
mile as he ans
Miss Dallas and Harriet chatted about their partners. Once only they
y rude to him. He had to console himself with you, eh, Do
must put you away, dear diary. I blush at my voluminousness. If every evening is to take
delusion, Harriet believed him to be devoted to herself, up to the period, as I fancy, when he asked me to be his wife. I was staying with the Tophams at the time. I believe that they had asked me there on purpose, being his friends. Ah, George! what a happy time that
a complete idiot, and had, poor boy! only so much sense as to make him sane in the eyes of the law. You know the fatal obstinacy with which he pursued an idea once instilled; the occasional fits of rage that were not less than insanity. Knowing all this, my dear, imagine what I must have suffered when angrily recalled home. I was forbidden to think of Mr. Manners again. In vain I asked for reasons. They had none, and yet a thousand to give me. When I think of the miserabl
ed to keep the slanders of my lover constantly in view, to quiet the self-reproach which I think she must sometimes have experienced.
ed, and discovered; but when the proof was in his hands, his proceedings were characteristically peculiar. He did not discharge the man, and have done with it; he retained him in his place, but seemed to take a-let me say-insane delight in exposing him to the religious circle in which he had been a star, and from which he was ignominiously expelled; and in heaping every possible annoyance and
forget my consideration f
d, "is, what can induce
torm turned up
f dismissal. I know now, Nell, and so will not revive the mystery that then
her courage to relate the terrible events