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Olympian Nights

Chapter 5 No.5

Word Count: 2525    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

ympian

ishing touch to my costume. "You look l

mind reverting to the number of handicap matches I hadn't won. "Some

ell, rather. They're said to

e they

n the s

e catch the i

n it is at others. Come here a minute,"

I have already spoken, and through the pow

hat?"

plied. "Tha

When Mars is near aphelion he is 61,800,000 miles away, but in his perihelion he gets it down to 33,800,000. Th

call that handy,

e minutes on a bike, ten minutes in the au

so green as to swallow all that. How t

iew. But you needn't think because you earth people cannot walk on air we Olympians are equally incapacitated. You can walk there in two ways. One of these is to fasten a pair of ankle-wings on your legs; the other is to purchase a pair of sky-scrapers. These are simple, consisting merely of boots with gas soles. You inflate the s

out the win

than roller-skating, and if you upset and get your head below your feet it's extremely difficult to right yourself again. If you tr

ect of trying to walk through space with the aid of

ut on the automobile. It makes six round trips a day and it's absolutely safe. Being so high up in the air might make you dizzy, and you might find the bicycling too much for your n

e is in compet

nis. "Phaeton h

asn't that reputation on earth. Was it an untruth that credits him

e gave Phaeton caution to burn, if I may indulge in mundane slang. He was guyed so unmercifully by everybody for his carelessness that the first thing he did when he recovered was to learn how to drive, and it wasn't six cycles before he was the most expert whip in Olympus. He finally made a profession of it and established a livery-stable. Then, when the automo

tion upon the wonderful self-rehabilitation of one

is case," said Adonis, dryly. "You'v

ting there seems to be an easy matter, but after you

ng-stage and play right around the planet, so that when you're through you're back at the club-house again. At the ninth ho

rinks, eh?

ense to indulge in hard drinks in the middle of a game. If you wan

ninth hole had ruined my chances in the Noodleport Annual Handicap last autumn. "But

y not?"

say," said I. "Mars is four t

his scorn for my picayune ideas. "Calling a paltry four thousand mi

ything here is on such a magnificent scale, I suppose o

ning on a basis that you would comprehend. I meant two and a half of your hours. Any moderately expert player ca

wing sarcastic. "A drive, two brassies,

seventy-five-mile drive, a seventy-mile brassie, a loft over the canal fo

!" I put in, making a pretence

r that hole is really seven. Willie Ph?bus played too well for a gentleman, so we made him

out it. Can he teach me how to d

est players frequently drive seventy-five miles-the record i

y self-poise for an instant. "What do

lt.' Ph?bus sells 'em at the Caddie House for five hundred dollars apiece. If you strike a ball fair and

e caddies find a ball that

are made of liquefied electricity. We take the electric current, liquefy it, then solidify it, then mould it into the form of a sphere. Inside we place a little gong, tha

ility to play the game. But this so far surpassed anything I had ever seen or imagined before that I was growing too keen over it for comfort. I was in real need of having my spirits curbed, so I vent

etty lively caddi

d to send them back inside of a week. They were regular little imps. They were cutting up monkey shines all the time, and waggled their horrid little tails so constantly that Jove himself couldn't keep his eye on the ball-and the language they used was something frightful. You couldn't trust them to clean your clubs, because th

I. "They're just heads

hey're seldom in the way, and some of the bes

the bags?" I aske

very carelessly, and often, in swooping about the sky, drop your clubs out of the bag and smash 'em; and they all look

th no pockets is a very safe pe

nd of it. You can't expect a caddie to do just right any more than you can expect water to flow uphill. There are certain immutable laws of

n the ways of "Some Caddies I have

twenty-five dolla

ell me, Adonis," I continued,

'll use his power to destroy us. That is one of the features of this Olympian life that is not pleasant-though, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you! He'd send me into perpetual exil

asant pos

you would understand precisely. I should say, however, it would b

for our pleasant chat. Your description of the links has interested m

er you want to pay a bill here all you have to do is to press the cash butto

ever repay the

of it, and they'll send you up

that this hotel

et with a low bow. "All bills here are of t

iderably whetted by the idea of a game of golf over links four thousand miles in length with balls

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