Olympian Nights
ympian
ishing touch to my costume. "You look l
mind reverting to the number of handicap matches I hadn't won. "Some
ell, rather. They're said to
e they
n the s
e catch the i
n it is at others. Come here a minute,"
I have already spoken, and through the pow
hat?"
plied. "Tha
When Mars is near aphelion he is 61,800,000 miles away, but in his perihelion he gets it down to 33,800,000. Th
call that handy,
e minutes on a bike, ten minutes in the au
so green as to swallow all that. How t
iew. But you needn't think because you earth people cannot walk on air we Olympians are equally incapacitated. You can walk there in two ways. One of these is to fasten a pair of ankle-wings on your legs; the other is to purchase a pair of sky-scrapers. These are simple, consisting merely of boots with gas soles. You inflate the s
out the win
than roller-skating, and if you upset and get your head below your feet it's extremely difficult to right yourself again. If you tr
ect of trying to walk through space with the aid of
ut on the automobile. It makes six round trips a day and it's absolutely safe. Being so high up in the air might make you dizzy, and you might find the bicycling too much for your n
e is in compet
nis. "Phaeton h
asn't that reputation on earth. Was it an untruth that credits him
e gave Phaeton caution to burn, if I may indulge in mundane slang. He was guyed so unmercifully by everybody for his carelessness that the first thing he did when he recovered was to learn how to drive, and it wasn't six cycles before he was the most expert whip in Olympus. He finally made a profession of it and established a livery-stable. Then, when the automo
tion upon the wonderful self-rehabilitation of one
is case," said Adonis, dryly. "You'v
ting there seems to be an easy matter, but after you
ng-stage and play right around the planet, so that when you're through you're back at the club-house again. At the ninth ho
rinks, eh?
ense to indulge in hard drinks in the middle of a game. If you wan
ninth hole had ruined my chances in the Noodleport Annual Handicap last autumn. "But
y not?"
say," said I. "Mars is four t
his scorn for my picayune ideas. "Calling a paltry four thousand mi
ything here is on such a magnificent scale, I suppose o
ning on a basis that you would comprehend. I meant two and a half of your hours. Any moderately expert player ca
wing sarcastic. "A drive, two brassies,
seventy-five-mile drive, a seventy-mile brassie, a loft over the canal fo
!" I put in, making a pretence
r that hole is really seven. Willie Ph?bus played too well for a gentleman, so we made him
out it. Can he teach me how to d
est players frequently drive seventy-five miles-the record i
y self-poise for an instant. "What do
lt.' Ph?bus sells 'em at the Caddie House for five hundred dollars apiece. If you strike a ball fair and
e caddies find a ball that
are made of liquefied electricity. We take the electric current, liquefy it, then solidify it, then mould it into the form of a sphere. Inside we place a little gong, tha
ility to play the game. But this so far surpassed anything I had ever seen or imagined before that I was growing too keen over it for comfort. I was in real need of having my spirits curbed, so I vent
etty lively caddi
d to send them back inside of a week. They were regular little imps. They were cutting up monkey shines all the time, and waggled their horrid little tails so constantly that Jove himself couldn't keep his eye on the ball-and the language they used was something frightful. You couldn't trust them to clean your clubs, because th
I. "They're just heads
hey're seldom in the way, and some of the bes
the bags?" I aske
very carelessly, and often, in swooping about the sky, drop your clubs out of the bag and smash 'em; and they all look
th no pockets is a very safe pe
nd of it. You can't expect a caddie to do just right any more than you can expect water to flow uphill. There are certain immutable laws of
n the ways of "Some Caddies I have
twenty-five dolla
ell me, Adonis," I continued,
'll use his power to destroy us. That is one of the features of this Olympian life that is not pleasant-though, for goodness' sake, don't say I told you! He'd send me into perpetual exil
asant pos
you would understand precisely. I should say, however, it would b
for our pleasant chat. Your description of the links has interested m
er you want to pay a bill here all you have to do is to press the cash butto
ever repay the
of it, and they'll send you up
that this hotel
et with a low bow. "All bills here are of t
iderably whetted by the idea of a game of golf over links four thousand miles in length with balls