Scattergood Baines

o the railroad, but minute research and a sifting of dubious testimony was required to unearth the tr

re ever to become actuality, he must first control the means of transporting passengers and commodities. But the stage line was not to be acquired, because Deacon Pettybone and Elder Hooper, who owned it in partnership, had not been on speaking terms for twenty years

vice the mischief was done-he had been converted to the tenets of immersion and straightway withdrew from the church of his birth to enter the fold of its bitterest rival in Coldriver, if it were possible for the Baptists to be bitterer rivals of the Congregationalist than the Methodists and Universalists were. Coldriver's population was less than four hundred. It required a great deal of religion to get that four hundred safely past the sna

d, and was forgotten as the years dragged on, by all but Pettybone and Hooper, who continued tenaciously to h

hint of a reconciliation; and when Pettybone appeared again on Coldriver's streets, hobbling on

cattergood's optimism and resource. It is reported that Scattergood

it hard enough. Trouble is, most folks ha

lity to want until he got was what made him the remarkable f

r the hill. His eyes were half closed, and his bulk, which later became phenomenal, filled comfortably the specially reinforced chair which came to be called his throne. Pliny Pickett slou

liny," said

', Scat

any pas

e Bogles. Say, Scattergood, looks li

. Don'

Station's heaped with it. Every me

ithout emotion. "Kettleman and

y mixin' it in with dry goods, and

ed more freely when his toes were unconfined, so that he migh

aid Scattergood, a

said Sc

E

nkin' of buy

N

about it, c

manag

rices, don't they? Kind of inquires aro

t do

y, Pl

Scatte

em in a certain transaction, and he knew now that they had combined against him. Their idea was transparent to him. It was their hope to put him out of busine

was no other than Jason Hooper, son of Elder Hooper, who had been educated to the ministry and had recently come to occupy the pulpit of his father's church-a

id Scattergood to himsel

nd Scattergood spoke in return. "Mornin', P

young man looked

ryin' industry, f'

. "It might

h experience to do their marryin' jest accordin'

o his attention insistently; he had been informed that a minister sho

a wife for me, too?" he

attergood. "Got any preferen

ave them all-a long way off

be a girl you'll want to snuggle right clost to.

g this week and that he even walked to the post office barefooted, squirming his delighted toes into the warm sand with apparent enjoyment. Immediately Locker and Kettleman and Lumley and the rest made it known to Coldriver and environs tha

s piazza and see customers passing him by for the alluring bargains offered beyond. Coldriver was disappointed in Scatter

accost Selina Pettybone, who paused, and drew

ughters of Dorcas, or half sisters of Mehitable, o

Selina, wi

en they git to hear of a ca

ey can, Mr. Bain

s wife was dead these two year, and a 'leven-year-old girl was tryin' to

hat I ought to go out there to t

ur buggy

thank

y, Se

ines," she sai

ot up leisurely and ambled toward the Congregational parsonage, in which

son?" said

ou do, Mr

n' visitin' the sick an' mi

deal, Mr.

? Or was it put there

ant, undo

minis

es

year-old daughter's tryin' to carry him and fo

t once, Mr

d fumbled in his pocket. He was visibly embarrassed. "Here's ten dollars that was give me to be used for sich a purpose.

Scattergood with a whimsical twinkle-and as he saw this scheming, money-hungry, po

n. Seems like candy's 'most necessary for sich. Dum foolishness, but keeps 'em quiet.... Git

le house within ten minutes of each other, and each was greatly embarrassed by the other's presence, for the family feud had compelled them to be coldly distant to each other all of their short lives.... B

ybone's house, and saw the old gentleman sitting on the fr

Deacon," sai

deacon. "Jest puttin' the finishin'

ookin' le

leg wears out and I put on the spare one, I set to work fashionin'

n cuttin' out ax hand

m to varnish this here leg and hang it in the harness room. Wisht I could keep it by me in the kitchen, but the ol' woman says it sp'iles her appetite. Wimmin is full of notions. Claims she'd go crazy

ve the town build a sidewalk up the hill

f ol' man Hooper. Connivin' and squillickin' around for his own ends. Lemme tell you, Scattergood, no tow

eled that he took no action whatever and showed no signs of worry. His eyes were as blue and his manner as humorous as it had ever been. Most of his conversation seemed to be on the subject of the sidewalk past the Congregational church, and it was carried on in low tones, and never to more than one individual at a time. If those indiv

lection had come near to rivaling it, and the local-option issue had stirred up fewer heartburnings

eared to be in the majority. Scattergood dropped out now and then with pockets full of stick candy, which he never delivered himself, but which he always handed to the minister or to Selina to be given anonymously after he was gone. He seemed as much interested in watching Selina and Jason as he was in talking with Xenophon, and

irl-Seliny," obse

the parson, and Sc

s, sir, churches has busted up on accoun

was no

ated to be an old batch. Never seen sich a feller. Couldn't

e, "I'm very miserable. I-I think I sh

mewheres-missionery fel

ed himself sharply. "No, I don't. I'm glad I've seen her. I've got that much, an

h, it would be a sight more satisfyin' to live them fifty-odd years with her and raise up a fam'ly, and git some benefit

es

nker to m

Bai

in tunket

a Bap

, hain

es

pect

ourse

te law ag'in' Congregation

tion wouldn'

deed of sale of you

would neve

h!.

an obedient

he sai

-y

r all, hain't you? Look

cri

rt her

loves me, M

nt to love you, hain't it? Knows

she can't

hy

u don't do it on purpose, Mr.

said Scatter

g minist

there bein' love?" S

an answered. "God," he sa

strong to bear the trials and labors of life. I think love is a ki

helter-skelter and hit-or-miss, or

hed that marriages

ind of a comma

es

fuse to obey an order sich as this, or to disobey a p

appiness. "Mr. Baines," he said, "I'm

con Pettybone, and the deacon always figgers that the news he gits from heaven i

ithout opposition, his congregation would have been enraged. He might have been forced from his pulpit. Now it regarded him as a martyr, and with clacking tongues and singleness of purpose it espoused his cause and declared t

suasion'll do with the deacon. Then, if measures fails, my advice to you as a human bein'

oes in the sunshine. Deacon Pettybone was a busy man, organizing the forces of the Baptists, and seeking diligently to round up the votes of neut

e, "and men gives their lives and sacrifices their fam

ngregationalists rule this town meetin' you might's we

to be pe

l thing rests with you. Why, if you was sick so's to be absent

earth'll keep me away-nothin'. If I was a-layin

much is dependin' on you. Coldriver's f

s at the game were Congregationalists. The three bickered and quarreled and threatened each other with violence, but they played daily. There were few afternoons when a ring of spectators did not surround the table, breathlessly watching the champions. It wa

antagonist. The Congregationalists had no hotter adherents than they, nor none who entered the conflict with more b

Ham. Eveni

Scatte

s lookin' fo

for that ol' gallus Pettybone, we'd

t from the meetin' thin

e, and there wouldn

den leg, h

he had

m. Harness room's never locked. If 'twas

t of

if somebody was to ketch a wooden-legged man and saw his leg off about halfway up? Jest lay hi

ke a fell

sawed-off one. Sich a man would have difficulty gittin' any place he wanted to g

ollars. The situation spelled nothing less than bankruptcy, but Scattergood replaced the book and waddled out to his piazza, where he

package to Scattergood, and vanished into the darkness. T

d in his ear. The deacon quickly made his way out of the crowd and down the stairs into the basement room under the barber shop-for news had been given him of a chance to swap for votes. He

lley Newcamp, who was heavy, sat on his chest. Hamilcar Jones dragged up a saw buck and laid the deacon's timber leg across it.... The deacon saw and comprehended, and lifted up his voice. Another five minutes were consumed in returning him to quiescence. And then the saw did its work, whi

as admitted. His face was full of wrath as he gazed within, and he q

acon, what's thi

d him at lengt

r that spare leg and you kin git to the

to him of his timber leg. Scattergood, with great show of solicitude, dispatche

g hain't in the harness ro

the blame swizzled, ornery, ill-sired, and regrettably reared pew-gags had, in d

d do fer you. You'd git laughed out. Them Congregationalists 'u'd win. You

's t

and make him force them adh

sed would not be given, but sent word for Jason Hoop

of you Congregationers done it, and stole his other leg. As leader o

it. What can I do? I-There

an git back your leg in time but this young man. Maybe he don't

thing, but Scattergood silence

hain't nothin' in the world I wouldn't give to git there, an

urn?" asked Scattergood. He took the

hing of the sort. "But I kin see a reason, Deacon. If this here young man was a member of your family, so to speak, and was related to you clos

d the pars

, Deacon?

nswoggled whale th

rt," said Scattergood,

the red flag of animosity before his eyes, and pictured black ru

ed, "and you kin have any

Deacon? Calculat

. I promis

uttered and flushed and choked, and hurried out of the

your preparations for tha

lustered cohorts and led them to triumph-and then regretted the bargain he had made. But it was too late. He cou

then

ood, "your pa and the d

ver do it,

's a grandson, but I can't wait. I'm in a all-fired hurry. You go to the deacon and tell him your pa sen

wouldn't

l him the deacon wants to make up, and begs his pardon out and out. Tell both of 'e

and Elder Hooper came face to face

to bein' mutual grandads, I calc'late. Must be quit

runted t

coughed t

andy and the Lord knows what, and walkin' down the street, each of you holdin' on

elder looked at the deacon. They grinne

ph," said

the elder, and they sh

e nuisance of that stage line-with a grandson to fetch up. I'm kinder

ferin'?" ask

oned the sum. "Ca

better sell,"

rove ownership, Scattergood visited the stores of

s, and I calc'late on a profit of two hunderd and fifty a month. Jest gimme your check for five hunderd dollars an

ere we want you. You can't

r freight goes up. I've studied the law, and there hain't no way to pervent me. I kin charge what I want for freighting and what I want will be so much not a one of y

ne stock of hardware at fifty cents on the dollar. Likewise, he owned the stage line and franchise, controlling the only right of way by which a

ne, childhood friends, long separated by

iate what you done Minnie a

peacemaker," s

d bein' a peacemaker any time

ines, if you read the Good Book. This

id Scattergood, very soberly, "is that you got