It's official kid

n-minute monologue would be charming, if it wasn’t such a blatant example of mansplaining. He adjusts his clear-rim glasses—I’m starting to wonder if he’s only wearing them for aesthetic reasons—

is unbelievable. “Thank you for tonight,” I say, because I can’t find it in myself to stop being polite. “But I think I’m ready to head out.” “Back to mine?” he asks. “Or yours?” I reach for my clutch. “Uh, I have work early in the morning. I don’t think I’ll be able to do that.” “Tomorrow’s a Saturday” he says. Oh, so it is. Shoot. My gaze travels over his shoulder and locks eyes with the man from earlier. Peanut guy, who called me kid, but who’d also promised he would help. He’s standing alone by the bar, no blonde in sight. And he catches my gaze. He raises an eyebrow. You need me? I give a teeny, tiny nod. “Audrey?” Brian says. “Come on, have a nightcap with me. At least let me take you home. I’ll even let you pick my brain for more stories.” The only thing worse than picking this guy’s brain would be having him try to suck mine out again through my teeth.

? Compare you to his past dates? Ask you to come back to his and check out his herb garden?” My nerves die and I laugh. “That would arguably have been worse. No, he didn’t do that. He gave me advice about my career.” “That’s a bad thing?” peanut guy asks, a raised eyebrow. “Yes! He knows nothing about it!” “Ah. Talking out of his ass, then.” “Yes. It was so patronizing I forgot to be nervous. I can’t believe I got all dressed up for this,” I say, looking down at my uncomfortable shoes. “It looked like you had better luck.” He rubs a hand over his neck, almost as if he’s embarrassed, and gestures toward the street. “We should walk. He might leave any minute.” “O