Epistles from Pap: Letters from the man known as 'The Will Rogers of Indiana'

lthough the latter had to be consoled after being initially turned down for a commission). Pap's sideline role did not deter him from making wry observations about professed

to property inherited from her parents. This caused Pap a bit of anxiety, as he feared for her comfort but did not wish to take undue advantage of his railroad pass perquisites. He also felt lonely at home alone, as his younges

t duties, and wrote a newspaper ad celebrating

YING I

er turned down for

. 3,

d have been much sorrier if you hadn't tried. That's what gets me-this not trying. And while you may

or Navy, but now that things have happened as they have, and women

other good qualities, you, if you want to, and will stick with it, will be able to get in WAVE, or whatever it is, from some other State-Indiana, for instance. There is a lot of bologna in this War, like all others, and I am told on good authority that it takes a political set-up to get the best. . . Honestly, when I heard you were trying Pennsylvania, I rather thought you would not be in the running. It just don't make sense for an Indiana girl to get a job like you wanted in the face of women (natives) in the secon

THE WA

2,

h news to tell you. We are m

t, then you should. He is windy, used to run a saloon here years and years ago, and therefore is an authority as he thinks on all things alcoholic. Doc was in a talkative mood. "Have you tried the new beer, Durm?" he asked. I said I had not, and what was it. Then he proceeded to tel

d for Hoffman's storage plant on North Indiana Street. There was Robert and his helper,

hat I was already there, I bought a case of Cook pints, as I knew what they were, and came home, put the case on the kitchen radiator a

a six- year-old Holstein with a new calf. . . Another round or so and we called "recess" for me to go out on the front porch for air. But duty called me back to the bottle. By that time I could see I was gaining slightly, and would eventually win if I kept up my morale. But it was a horse race with bets about even. Then back to the front porch for more air, then back to the half gallon bottle of unpasteurized that helps win the War. On one of these trips to the front porch I noticed the Electric Light people had inserted a bigger light bulb while I had been gone. But my patriotic duty called me back to the pantry and the rubber-stoppered half gallon bottle. In desperation I again went to the front porch to bring in help, any kind of help, but the streets were empty. Then back to the kitchen, and then

A STATE

4,

nonetheless, my offer stands provided you want one at this time. Your letter rather indicated you would as soon wait a year or so. That is sensible and also th

s dresses, sarongs and Russian Sable with equal grace. In other words, clothes don't have to make you. And thank God they don't have to pinchhit for your scholarship. Still, you should have good clothes, and you are

troubles. She is taking her time and effort, and all for the good of the cause, so let's all be appreci

wear them, you are 18, an exceptional scholar, and you should be pleased and satisfied. This is not all the money you are to get for clothes, etc., this

. . . Munny surely needs a new bustle and pair of arch-supporter shoes by now . . . .What

P

G THE R

h 17

missioners may . . . "order in" grade crossing warning devices or watchmen . . . whether the railroads think them necessary or not . . . all at the cost of the railroads. . . We tried to

s, but it took a lot of lawyers and time and expense to run all that down. Just such things as that happen all the time. Some "worthy party workers" start a manufacturing plant up in Lake County on a shoe string. Maybe they can't get a site on the right-of-way. But they start. Then come to the railroads and want a switch put in to the factory. . . The railroad investigates-the set-up doesn't look permanent- and declines to extend a switch. Then, the "workers" go

FDIC AND

tle. The ad proclaimed in large bold type that the venerable Russellville institution was "A Private Bank, not a member of F.D.I.C." The "Old Bank", as it was referred to, had been started in 1893 by some

OF

deposits are its principal liability) is not limited merely to the extent of the value of the stock owned in the bank-whatever that value m

IT GU

anybody's deposit in ANY bank- National, State or Private, anywhere, anytime-whether a member of F D.I.C. or not. But it does require ALL Banks belonging to F.D.I.C. to guarantee one another's depositors' deposits up to $5,000 for each depositor-A SORT OF MUTUAL INSURANCE. We are a small Bank, but mighty for our inches in a financial way. And we want to put all the force of all of our resources solely back of the deposits of our own depositors. Therefore, we thought then, and still think, it would be unfair to our depositors

ERVA

of a single penny of Principal or Interest. However, during and following the "Bank Holidays", in a few issues-three we think,

CUST

ustomers was immediately evident. The amount of approximately $29,000 was sold in and credited to Russell Township (our township), and of this the amount of $23,218.75 was subscribed by our customers and paid for with funds in Russellville Bank. We are proud of our customers in their War efforts. If p

NG STO

l 2,

& Sexton

Sacrame

go, I

prings, two pastry door springs, three black door handles, two simmer

profound mystery to me. She had looked, I had peered, the children had searched, gas men and plumbers had examined and thumped, and outside the "Strand Universal" toward the lower right hand corner, the job was as smooth as an undertaker's conv

be known no Nazi spy

er he reports to the

y gas

espect

WAY FR

er 23

erson 20061 Hull

ed Shaw and wife to you for the 27 acres plus north of the N.Y. Central station here in Putnam County. I am also en

nt it. This is no time for discounting, and everybody knows it. Banks are glad to get good loans at

0 acres, flat as a pancake-you could make baseball diamonds all over it-and never had a plow in it. Father traded a horse and buggy for it in 1893 or 94. Never saw it. It is in dry country. We have just paid taxes (very small) all these years until about fiv

RIDE CALL

ote: The future bride's name was Frances Haberkorn, but Pap

d for always, you can rest assured the "old man" is with you 200%. Wife and husband choosing is for the individuals themselves. Outsiders should look on, keep o

y it should be. You'll find a groom is the most unnecessary necessity modern society ever inveigled an unsuspecting public into.

I'll have to arrange for somebody to do the milking, and get my shirt to, and back from, the laundry-both of which take varying times. But whenever, wherever and however, you can count on Munny for an absolute certainty,

ng family members not to interfere with the wish

f the Clan of Durha

di

eti

f his kinsmen as to what wines were to be served at the wedding feast. She contended for a wine whose grapes were grown on the east side of a mountain an

ing all the best of it in comeliness, charm, personal interest and common justic

on for her, and thereby reaffirming an almost unbroken precedent that in the days of your Grandf

sands of the sea at low water mark where the tide ebbs and flows twice in twenty-four hour

epaid, to all members of said Clan whos

SIMIL

largest bank in Detroit. Pap was chairman of the board of one of the smallest b

dat

ensible, fine letter. Your pappy Haberkorn did the honors for himself and wife. The letterhead disclosed he is one of the Vice Presidents of th

nts per mile on passenger trains on his Road. Charlie was President of said R.R. and it was a separate railroad corporation in truth and in fact. He was also Auditor, Treasurer, Gen. Freight and

ses-he to give Williams a pass on the L.N.A. & C. Railroad, and in return, Williams to give him a pass on the N.Y.C. Williams seemed to have not heard of Charlie'

a hell of a lot of gall when you have an

that Mr. Williams, but you

t the

ee recommended his b

the L.N.A. & C. and

oit and Russellville

hazily, there is so

or

e

ED ROMANCE OF

in in the following letter. It was written long after the death of his older brother, J. Ernest Durham, genera

l 25

ked in staid, dependable, conservative, old Russellville Bank at $2 per week & board and clothes (I'll say it was conservative-Uncle Ernest started it in 1893 and had his first note loss in 1907. . . ). I spliced my money, wen

base until the ring about fit; then go to the Bankers' State Convention at Indianapolis, where, in trying to be a good fellow, he would eat a lot of cheese, pickles, blind r

s claimed, either by her or Frank's wife, she was a kinswoman to the dental cream and dirt-removing family of that name who have the big clock in Jersey across from New York City. Mo

thing except the ink stains on his fingers. Mrs. Forgey, who with her husband, Jim Forgey, kept house for Uncle Ernest, recommended lemon juice, or maybe it was green tomato juice, for finger ink stains, but said she couldn't do anything about the ink stains on his best suit which she was cleaning and pressing. Uncle Ernest had won a bottle of cologne o

d their respective places by virtue of more baling wire. He had also misjudged the height of some limbs on a tree up in the north pasture, and torn a hole in the rubberized textile top that leaked when it rained anything above a heavy dew. The back end of the coupe was loaded with an assortment of axes, grubbing hoes, pitch forks, spades, post hole diggers and so forth. Besides that, it had the

my new chummy little Saxon roadster-35 miles to the gallon-and

le Chautauqua to hear William Jennings Bryan, and Cole Younger the famous o

nfusion and Uncle Ernest bid-in the wrong box, she pasted a picture of that women's college on the outside of her box. Uncle Ernest

y atonement was made

Crawfordsville and

College, read his "S

of English

my Saxon off the road, sprung an axle and busted a light and fender, in a suspiciously out-of-the-way place between Deer's Mill and the

old Private Institution; the next reconnaissance by State Examiners showed said Bank to be in its usual so

ture stood where I last saw it five years before. Aunt Margaret's painting masterpiece of 1884 still hung on the west wall, showing castle, moat and drawbridge (and the fair lady in green riding habit riding the horse down from the castle to the drawbridge hadn't made any mileage

ppening outside the confines and regulations of the Presbyterian Church, had been called by Mot

nd, probably for moral support in the

t she was a Red Cross worker in World War I, and had passed out cigarettes to the soldiers in France. Great God! I saw Mother's bosom swell, Aunt Margaret's lip twitch like it does just before she evades an unpleasant question or is

into a caucus before I could get out of the room, and I heard Mother pronounce sentence:

t caught the wrong train and landed in Buffalo. Next Spring she taught in Cleveland. Again, Uncle Ernest he

was full of envelopes about the size of a two-thirds grown postal card, all addressed in the same handwriting, and all tied up in packages with grocer's soft white twine. I didn't know the handwriting, but eventually caught the ful

ll the remaining letters one by one into a handy banana hamper. Some had snapshots in t

AND FE

l 19

rnoon in one of the trucks and stay overnight, so I got up Monday morning at 4 a.m., and got to the Yards. I found the cattle and just about stayed with them until it was all over. Eventually the hay wagon came along. They threw out two bales for our cattle and then distributed them in the hay racks. I watched the cattle. They weren't eating any of the hay, just none at all. It was timothy. They were used to alfalfa. . . The bell rang and trading started. Buyers came and went. Our heifers were better than any I s

t about any amount they want at staid, old, conservative, dependable Russellville Bank, the bank that only guarantees its own depositors; Mr.

TE-THE BALLOT

l 19

ask for passes. The day I left she told me her intentions, and knowing how trains are crowded, next day I went to the station at Indianapolis to see how she was faring. I found her standing, and she had been standing all the way to Indianapolis and was bedraggled already, and with only about one-twenty-fifth of her journey completed. . . We got back to the Pullman conductor,

armed forces" getting the ballot. Those not running this Fall and the hold-over Senators were less voluble, but in the House, where everybody had to run this Fall, or else stay out, the rafters went off center from 7 to 9 inches. I haven't seen such valiant patriotism in a legislative body since the

and hang on amidst fervent patriotic speeches and many, many glowing accounts of the h

air. The war was on and restraint was in the air. Railroad executives are like all other people-busy, serious and worried. The railroads are carrying an enormous load. Equipment is over- used and the replacements are just not to be had under the circumstances. And so, the dinner lagged. The talk ran to the Special Sessi

interfere with whatever he or she was interested in at the time; that not one out of four of the ballots of those who did vote outside the U.S. would get back in time to be counted in the proper precinct for State and County offices; that I'd bet 3 to 1 that three out of four of said "armed forces", if given the choice between a ballot and a bottle of beer, would select the beer; and that over 90% of all this tremendous anxiety about the soldiers getting to vote was political hooey pure and simple. Also that

the table. They all agreed and from then on the dinner party went along

to allow a person to do what he has always had the right to do. That doesn't take any patriotism. That is simple justice. . . Those of us at home can show our patriotism by staying at home and off trains and away from crowded cities and hotels unless it is necessary; by raising more livestock, grain, grub of all kinds and fewer orchids and "rackets" of all kinds; and above all el

er lip, and your

P

TIC CANC

dat

na Railroad Lobby s

e is Republican. Most

are Republicans. Th

ce Commission Convent

ur set-up went to W

o is the head of th

for cars . . . They

"the importance

additional 1,000,000 men and equipment in August, and 1,500,000 in September. We don't know how we are going to do it with what equipment we have left, but I know one way we are going to help-we are going to set off every god damned railroad executive and near-railroa

utive," is what cooked our crowd. Non

s consent. "After studying the matter carefully, we have decided it might possibly interfere with the War Effort

TO

h 27

l the children

. Besides that, Ralph is a first class young fellow, if I am any judge. Under the circumstances, I'd like him if he wore spats and drank tea. . . I do hate to have her get married away from home, but that is all right unde

ss colt. They got her dried off and away from her dead mother into a box stall with plenty of straw. Then the food question arose. Jim drove up one of the cows; they milked some milk into a small crock; Stella stuck two of her fingers into the colt's mouth and down into the milk crock, and eventually Nellie got the idea. And so, from day to day, they repeated the scene. The leggy ambling colt waxed sleek and gained flesh. She got so she could drink, but preferred to suck Stella's fingers. One evening Ernest was there, and the usual performances were had, and everybody admired the colt and thought it very cute . . . when all of a sudden and all unexpectedly, Nellie backed square beh

er half a million. This increase . . . is not all money we made last year by a whole lot. It represents recoveries on real estate the Banking Dept. ordered us to sell back there when land was low. We just charged that stuff off out of earnings and undivided profits as we went along, as the Dept. ordered it sold or charged off. One piece the Dept. reco

r 25 years ago, Uncle Ernest loaned a fellow $300, and as a precaution pure and simple took a mortgage on those five lots. The fellow paid the loan down to $150 in drabs, got sick, moved away, and eventually deeded the Bank the lots and called the loan square.

ugh money for another. Time went on. Finally George joined Mr. Boyd in wanting them sold, and they pretty near had Mr. Fordice in the notion of selling too. . . We were just adjourning when B

to pay for them?" He said, "By the month, and not more than $10 a month, and I wouldn't want you to squeeze me if I run behind sometime." I said, "Well, we're selling them to you at h

"We've made everything else at half price, so to keep everything

t. Then followed the shortest, quickest real estate sales contract it has been my privilege to view. It would have been still shorter except that I insisted George describe the real estate as "those lots up in the east part of town," not even mentioning the town's name. Mr. Boyd signed in behalf of the Bank, and Bob sig

get paid out, and was asking about his deed already. Bob had paid away

livestock entered into the consideration. He decided it was best to tell the truth. This resulted: "

G ON

2,

at Russellville. I thought I was going along pretty easy, but yesterday I must have gone at it too much in earnest because last night and this morning I had a very sore right arm, and it made me t

ter a reasonable delay, they went back to see what had happened to the second charge-and got there just in time. When about 8 feet away, she let go. Both are here in the local hospital. I went to see them Sunday. Tom's eyes were bandaged and at that time they did not know whether he would be blind or not. Otherwise, hi

6, 1

he other day while

it has been a long time since I saw chocolate bars. On the train going to Chicago to see about selling the cattle up there some time ago, I ran into a young couple (Army folks) on their way west from Norfolk. In the conversation I said something about not having seen a Hershey bar for a long time. I noticed she went down among their luggage and pretty soon

ottom. Joan's description of the pimply-faced delivery boy was vivid. He asked: "What is this thing anyway?" She replied: "A cow hide, my boy. I make rugs out of 'em." The carcass of Seminole IV is safely ensconced out

ion, if such there was, was gradual and uniform, except in one place-about shoulder high and between me and the radio were some streaks of chocolate running toward the radio. That happened at the time, or just after, Munny left. Each night when I crawled in, those streaks would give me a feeling of insecurity until I remembered what they were. Than I could nestle in amongst them and go to sleep-but

. I have rigged up a chart on the marble top of the table whereon the radio sets, and I figure a day spent at the farm sprouting and grubbing bushes, etc., is equal to from two to two and a half days at the Bank. But I find tha

oney to send him, perhaps tomorrow. He got a rather good pri

ee, although both are still in the Hospital of course. I s

se meals, I don't believe I could make it. These restaur

father, who is principal or sole owner of the Indianapolis Star, gave her some sort of shower yeste

udgment Japan won't be hard or very long to clean out, once the Allies get

P

became an aunt of Dan Quayle, U.S. Senator from Ind

VERYTHING UP B

6,

nd other sapling stuff, and Tuesday night I came home almost a physical wreck. Each year it gets harder and harder climbing up and down on wagons. I used to climb the fences but now I take to the gates. Ira says I should

oung ground hogs up a bush. He ran to the holes and kicked them full of dirt-and here the young hogs came. Having no club he used his feet. His foot batting average was .666, meaning he got two of the three. That noon he "butchered", and that took half an hour. Skinning ground hogs isn't quite like skinning rabbits. Ira eats them and says they are fine. I say nothing because long years a

was to be able to say I had partaken. . . Young ground hogs are not bad, but they

for Aunt Margaret and me. What we haven't eaten and the attendants out at the Locker Plant haven't stolen is still there. If you or Bob could hunt around and find a box of the right sort that would hold, say, 50 pounds of meat together with 50 pounds of dry ice, and if shipping meat to children i

ear you say you will patronize such a market if you can find it. That is exactly what causes black markets. Blaming it all on the government or anything else is not the remedy-it is only a flimsy excuse. . . We had an embyro black market at Russellville even. Two men went down to the Hazlett boys and tried to buy a steer they were fattening for the Indpls. market. They offered a good price-more than the steer would have brought on the legitimate market. They said they would butcher it there on t

before the War he paid $1.39 for shirts at Montgomery Ward's. Today the same shirt costs him over $5.50 per shirt. And George doesn't lie or resort to his imagination. Just the cold fact. At the price we pay for shirts, we should be getting $50 for cattle on the hoof. We get $16 to $18. . . Yesterday I bought 5 bananas at A&P for 23 cents. I think they were the first for two or three years. Based on that price, cattle should be bringi

UIRRELS IS TOU

28,

were four squirrels in the crib that we counted. They went out the back end like flying squirrels. I had the gun along. The crib had a galvanized roof. One squirrel got right up in the apex of the roof . . . I let him have it. The shot splattered more than I had thought it would, so the roof is like a sieve. Another squirrel was on the "plate" just below the tin roof, outside the crib proper. So I let him have it, and that punched

f. Soon he appears inside the crib going toward the corn . . . and he jumped on a plate under the board floor right in front of me. I had one of your skeet loads in the right