The Guy Upstairs

more of. His energy captivated me more than I knew was possible, or even I knew was possible. Each evening, when I saw him, I could feel myself getting lost in his eyes and

ted to know why this boy was bec

l you about Ana," Sull

o's Ana?

my ex,

you want me to hear

, and I want you to know. It explai

," I

we both decided to meet, but her parents were very strict, so she came up with a plan to meet up at this college festival where I was going anyway. So, she booked her tickets from Los Angeles and mine from Kingston, and we both set off to the festival. She did not know anyone, so I helped

them because it got late and the place was filled. She rested her head on my shoulder, and we both doze

ounds so sw

ltiple times, and all of it was magical. We would sit on my roof and talk. Then once, I went to Dallas to meet her, a

Intel; it was something like if they liked her work, she would be

at was the first time we had sex. She was

oth of you; why did you guys break up?"

he was a pathologica

an by that?" I

she said it was day or night. She just didn't lie to me; she lied to all my friends and colleagues, everyone. There were times when I

me, to Arthur," he said, looking down, and

, and I really missed her, so I went on a solo date. I tried video calling her, but she did pick up, so

lm down," I said as I wr

ot right if the world has been shitty to you; you don't get to be shitty to others," he struggled to say as he started to h

hold this," I said, placi

ell me, what can you hear and feel?"

hear the wind outside, and I can f

, what else

very calming," he added as his

etter?" I asked as I

you," he said as he

er bottle; he nodded and to

?" I asked, talking

I don't know how to justify it. We broke up in August, and it feels like things have just spiraled out of hand after that

they worry abou

ch that would have broken her, that her son was on

e fine now. Right?" I asked, and Sullivan didn't reply

is your favorite quote

em The View from Half

m! It has so many la

appear as we continued to talk about the shows that

, why do you have so many cuts o

ally sad sto

ears," h

m and then me and my sister. As I grew up, I found out that my dad had an affair, and I told my mom, but that ended up in a huge scandal, and then my sister blamed me for it. Throughout my life, I have had depressive episodes that have developed into suicidal te

" he

he was drunk, he tried forcing himself on me. Yeah,

rry," Sulli

what had happened. When mom heard this, her reaction was, I don't think anything l

e, and then sex also became something that was just a bodily need. One of my ex-boyfriends then became the

okay now?

d BPD. And the funny part is that these are the only things that

. And your trauma has helped you mature and grow way be

up between us. It was nothing like what I had felt before. Like two t