My Secret Crush

é "short story" from my phone instead of my thesis to th

story's protagonists bore t

d realized, it was too l

against the headboard, feel

is eyes dangerously, a smirk playing at his lips as he p

ge to read further and desp

what ha

oves writing, sent me a Word docume

works with me, making

but didn't open

g my thesis and only

a message in the group chat from Ricky,

ess, I sent the "thesis" to the

t felt like my wo

"short story," I might ha

he protagonists shared our names, a

aged me privately: "Ellia

y defended myself: "

urely feel your intentions," he rep

no choice but to confront Kaylyn

don't yo

wing a kiss meme, "It

your senior, I crafted this

message in a bot

mpletely

rrently in his second year of PhD

ges, he leaves us first-year grad student

s one o

sroom, carrying the dampness of a southern a

es down past his smooth jawline and ne

s looks highly, I was captivated by

often busy, frequently a

teractions, my fee

o is single-mindedly dedicated to

had a gathering, invi

the middle of the meal, received

too and ramble

ned from the call,

k to the dorm, but halfway there,

me away im

he still held onto m

e sobered me up, and

ftly, "Our lab doesn't allow dating

s, which seemed to twinkle li

t touched a drop of alcohol, stil

smile, "I remember... I'm sober no

d on walking me to t

f concern for my safety as a girl at

to restrain my feelings and

ocial nightm

five hours ago and c

oup chat was silent; neither Ri

e chat history, clearly hav

who had read my little story about Ricky and me, and the

y phone vib

eplying, and nearly fell

f, I saw it was anoth

re you stil

reak up; it was ju

u free

chool, and we can h

messages, moment

a long time and finally

ther, it was mostly me acco

secured a suitable inte

hool entrance exam with him, for a prestig

was out of town, and he didn't w

couldn't resist Mathew's persistent persuasion. In the end, I gave

o the school of his d

Mathew suddenly suggested I forgo grad

d enough for a down payment on

st control: "You insisted I take

accepted, you wan

ou stop being

itted his teeth, "If you insist on this

brea

to finish, Mathew never consid

re, and only I knew how much I had

compromise my lif

disappointment and fatigue nearly crushed m

e was sadness, but more than th

into graduate school, Mathew would come a

ive up, not only harassing me on Whatsapp

the confidence, assuming ou

in that past relationship t

t me downstairs f

see Ricky standing in the corridor, his g

d, "To ensure academic focu

e, Mathew began anothe

d sent to the group for everyone to admire,

he actual thesis to Ricky, along with a note: "Sorry, s

y thesis

ill didn

ld he th

herself at him, pers

secret stories about h

ne into my pocket, grabbed my meal card

and walked in, my eyes landed

ht back, and a face with a calm and

lost my appetite. Clutching my mea

s cool and clear as a summer night'

to

as R

away without looking back, the last shr

tall and long-legged, stride

mile, "Ricky

r my face and landed on th

ol voice, "Are

...

I saw my fingertips had turned whit

y imagination, but Ricky

, he had already returned to his aloo

e me the first dra

witch, and I whispered, "Um... I alr

a couple of times, browsed for a moment, the

ve dinner

ard incident, I sh

cafeteria highlighted his handso

vely

brushed against each other, and at certain moments, my

e collar of his T-shirt dipped slightly, revea

cably recalled Kaylyn's d

ds of sweat trickled down, leavin

uch, only to have Ricky grasp her ha

t

it, you hope

only to hear Ricky ask agai

oodles are jus

bury my face in t

re leaving, he kindly reminded me, "Reme

ng in the lab, and my advisor punished me by making

face, I read

soaked, clinging to his b

tons, trapping Ellian

ne had somehow transforme

a slight smile on his lips, his voice

n I ove

shed to the lab entrance, only t

I felt several meaningf

hroughout the morning in the lab,

ped out, asking, "Elliana, your writing is

piece wasn't my creation, b

hispering to me before she left, "Le

ground would

t to finish the experiment, staying an ex

tepped out, I found Ricky sitt

you didn'

e and looked at me,

s about to say something when someone suddenl

Ricky and me, then he sho

ylyn's work in the group chat yesterday mornin

, trying to signal him t

all. He just gave me a thumb

ted t

as just Ricky and me st

rom the extreme embarrassment and asked qui

mething about the exper

ately te

o this program, I pu

ab's major projects often l

my advisor and Ricky, I caught

made me think

th the experimental da

N

and quickly added, "It

though I intended to politely refuse,

up on your desk whe

isting, "Than

o bubble tea, a sweet, creamy drink popular in

long time before saying, "

enough, Ricky took a

nd always order full s

sip and spat it out, questioning h

aid nothing. Instead, he asked the staff f

swe

ea

e it back for Neil. H

ent under the same advisor, assisting

ar, "I was talking about a new major regional res

against my hair,

way, only to hear a familiar voice in front of

ng not far away, staring at Ric

over, glaring at me, "How long has it been since

d sad, but I f

aid, biting my lip. "We're already

t Mathew reached out

led, and fell into a

came from a

ke a startled rabbit, turning to Ricky, "S

head, his voice

's

again, but Ricky's icy

called from behind, "Elliana, I've changed jobs to b

other chan

ut didn't

ntrance. Before parting, he sudden

of seconds before realizing

, he's my e

ss my heart, "Don't worry, senior, I've always stric

ooked at me in silence for a few seconds,

e rules, but not with him,"

figure gradually disappear into the distance

could date, just

h

dislike Math

he half-finished cup of milk tea. As soon as I reach

involved developing a patent, and Ricky was the main person in charge. Th

o more messages. "Of course, you can look at

I was quit

studies that participating in a large project duri

entered the workforce, it w

y quite full, and I had a part-time job

ctantly decline Ricky in

ed, but I might not

hing when he looked up

ents already take up a lot of time

a bit upset,

to play games, time to write-that kind

of stuff," he paused, and h

erring to. I wanted to explain that I didn't write that p

quite charming wh

d embarrassed, when Ricky took a deep bre

, I lost m

and would greatly benefit your res

ed obediently a

sage from Mathew asking me to

ght, I decided

remembered he still owed me five

rly reached out: "Yuan Yuan, when are y

e to your school, so I can come

essage, momentari

nship with Mathew, I was always

ven cancel plans when there was a confli

hole years, always fantasizing

s after our breakup t

hew sent three playful emoji

ity and messaged him,

y, "The weather is ni

up, Yua

the sky? Doesn't it look like th

broke up, he borrowed five thousand

was never

caught off guard and took a while to respond

the debtor who

on Friday evening at the

ntire day in the lab, struggling with a set

more mistakes I made, draggin

oth times. He then messaged me on a

uld I come

nder finger suddenly appeared in front of me, tappin

et Ricky's cool

d quietly put my ph

hat's still not working

peaking, a familiar pre

rom my hand, clicked twice, and t

took me a while to catch

erstood, and I nodde

u, Senio

nd uploading a backup, I realized that

to his bag, and his gaze swept over to me, stop

nviting me

my vibrating phone reminded me that I still hadn't coll

my eyes. "I'm sorry, Senior, I have plans t

ond, his voice turning col

ri

hen next week, let's

Ricky's indifferent gaze again. I g

the school gate, Mathew and

ht and decided to get straight to the point. "

s hand holding the chopsticks froze in mid-air, cau

d a bitt

you have to br

t why we'r

a flicker of pain in his eyes, whic

thousand yuan between us, would you

ined s

d a bitt

I really know

re, and I got used to it, th

Yuanyuan. You're the only girl

ed, every time I thought of my past self who compromis

then suddenly pulled a small box from his poc

aken ab

a sparkling ring inside, and

that people in the restau

familiar face to rescue me from this scene, and ende

y, who was sitting at a table away, al

icky, Sen

you doi

ther, his expression cold,

rned my gaz

face, and gave an awkward smile

r, and Xu Qing immediately cut himsel

so I asked Ricky to come with me. Youn