Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent / The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two

s-Darby has Notions of becoming a Convert-Hints to a Trusty Bailiff, with a

fellows in whom the heart was naturally so hard and selfish that he loved both wealth and the infliction of oppression, simply on account of the pleasure which they afforded him. To such a man, and they formed too numerous a class, the estate of an absentee landlord presented an appropriate, and generally a safe field for action. The great principle of his life was, in every transaction that occurred, to make the interest of the landlord on one hand, and of the tenant on the other, subservient to his own. This was their rule, and the cunning and adroitness necessary to carry it into practical effect, were sometimes scarcely deemed worth concealment, so

ot absolutely despise. His talents for business, however, prostituted as they were to such infamous purposes, only rendered him a greater scourge to the unhappy tenantry over whom he was placed. As for Phil,

s looked upon, by those of his own class not so much as a heartless and unscrupulous knave, as a good sound Protestant, whose religion and loyalty were of the right kidney. In accordance with these principles, he lost no time in assuming the character of an active useful man, who considered it the most important part of his duty to extend his political opinions by every means in his power, and to discountenance, in all shapes and under all circumstances, such as were opposed to them. For this purpose, there was only one object left untried and unaccomplished; but time and his undoubted loyalty soon enabled him to achieve it. Not long after his appointment to the agency, he began to experience some of these uneasy sensations which a consciousness of not having deserved well at the hands of the people will occasion. The man, as we have said, was a coward at heart; but like many others of the same class, he contrived on most occasions to conceal it. He now considered that it would, at all events, be a safe and prudent act on his part to raise a corps of yeomanry, securing a commission in it

back parlor, enjoying with Phil the comforts of a warm tumbler of pu

such a knock?" said Phil-"upon my honor and reput

ur interests, and the trust which we can repose in him. I intend to make him a sergeant in our new corps-and talking of that, Phil, you are not aware that I received this morning a letter from Lord Cumber, in which he thanks me for the hint, and says he wi

slice be a good one; only I am rather quakerly as to act

for military glory; but here there will be nothing but a healthy chase across the country after an occasional rebel or whiteb

ve such devilish good practice at hedge-firing, that I have already made up my mind to decline all warfare that won't be sanctioned by the sun.

if the master of the house were asleep, in order that he might rob

y en

oundrel," said Val; "what ha

he estate-"what have you to say for yourself? If I served you right, upon my h

covered above three feet, and I had to go round by the bridge. Throth his honor there ought to make the Grand Jury p

ledge of human nature, despite both his wisdom and experience. Darby's reply was not a long one, but its effect was powerful. The very notion that Val M'Clutchy could, should, might, or ought to have su

eel, that ought for a moment be compared, in an ecstatic sens

l, take a glass of spirits-t

spirits, and we'll see what can be done abou

s, your honors; an' may you both be spared on the property, as a pair of blessins to the estate!" Then, running over to Phil, he wh

? What is the cursed sne

"I was axin' permission jist to add

you mean?

the glorious, pious, and imm

ist?" asked Phil, still highly delighted with Darby'

wn duplicity, "sure they can forgive me that, along with my other sins. But,

you scoundre

drel; how is th

onscience. Mr. M'Slime gave me a tract, some time ago, called Spiritual Food for Babes of Grace, and I t

ng a good sound Protestant; take my word there's nothing like it. A man that's a good sou

u are about to become a Protestant, Darby, that's a very different thing from changing your religion-inas

intention he has of writin' a new tract consarning me, to be called the Converted Bailiff, or

dryly; "strung up,

"but my own mimory isn't what it used to be

y, you move off for a little-Darby and I have a small ma

o take care of yourselves;" a

wn that worthy Phil was considered by those who had the honor of his acquaintance, as anything but an oracle-d

-"you see the opinion which I entertain of your

-and by the same token

antly, whatever I do is for the benefit of the country in genera

t the whole worl

--"now to business. In the first

d at him in the attitude of d

hments that happen to come in your way. It would do no harm if you should slip them quietly into your pocket and bring them to me. I say quietly, because there is a spirit

arby-"there you are right,

. Is the night d

that a blind ma

in his hand, whispered something to him with great earnestness and deliberation. Darby heard him with profound attention, nodded his head significantly as he spoke, and placed the

e on the following day but one; which ceremony simply consisted in turning out upon the wide world, without house, or home, or shelter, about twenty three f

lowed them to keep, with the exception of two or three families, who were able to indulge in the luxury of a cow. In winter it had an air of shivering desolation that was enough to chill the very blood, even to think of; but in summer, the greenness of the shrubs, some of which were aromatic and fragrant, relieved the dark, depressing spirit which seemed to brood upon it. This little colony, notwithstanding the wretchedness of its appearance, was not, however, shut out from a share of human happiness. The manners of its inhabitants were primeval and simple, and if their enjoyments were few and limited, so also were their desires. God gave them

t the rights of conscience, in defiance of M'Clutchy's denunciations. They had voted for the gentleman who gave them employment, and who happened besides, to entertain opinions which they approved. M'Cl

died young. This second boy was named Torley, and him they loved with an excess of tenderness and affection that could scarcely be blamed. The boy was handsome and manly, full of feeling, and possessed of great resolution and courage; all this, however, was ultimately of no avail in adding to the span of the poor youth's life. One day in the beginning of autumn, he overloaded himself with a log of fir which he had found in the moors; having laid it down to rest, he broke a blood-vessel in attempting to raise it to his shoulder the second time: he staggered home, rela

of that festive spirit which gives to the season a charm that throws the memory back upon the sweetest recollections of life-I mean Christmas eve. The morning, however, was ushered in by storm. There had been above a fortnight's snow, accompanie

k and desolate look, had too much the fear of M'Clutchy before their eyes, to await his measures, and accordingly sought out some other shelter. It was said, however, and generally supposed, by several of the neighboring gentry, that even M'Clutchy himself would scarcely dare to take such a step, in defiance of common humanity, public opinion, and the laws both of God

actually sickens. From the hour of nine o'clock on that ominous morning, the inhabitants of Drum Dhu were passing, despite the storm, from cabin to cabin, discussing the probable events of the day, and asking each other if it could be possible that M'Clutchy would turn them out under such a tempest. Nor was this all. The scene indeed was one which ought never to be witnessed in any country. Misery in all its shapes was there-suffering in its severest pangs

woke, having only fallen asleep a little before daybreak. His father went to his bed-side, and looking down saw that he was still asleep, with a peaceful smile irradiating his features, as it were with a sense of inward happiness and tranquility. He beckoned to his mother who app

eace of God," said the mother, "shining from an inn

in this house behind him-even little Brian that he loved so well-but where was ther

ould come, I'll be where no agent can turn me out-that is, in heaven-for I wouldn't wish to live to see you both and little Brian put from the pla

, he said, were the sensations he felt. He then wrung his hands until the joints cracked, and gave one short convulsive sob, which no effort

er, kissing him, "how d

d beautiful rivers? 'That is heaven,' said a sweet voice beside me, but I could see no one. I looked again, and then I thought I saw my three little brothers standin' inside the gate smilin'-and I said, 'ar'n't you my brothers that died when you were young?' 'Yes

e have to stay afther you? Your voice, achora, will be in our ears, and your sweet looks in our eyes- but that

ill have only him. I needn't bid you to love him, for I know that you loved both of us, may be more than you ought, or more than I desarved; but not surely more than Brian does. Brian, my darling, come and kiss your own Torley that keept you sleeping every ni

owever, who felt an irrepressible dread of what was expected to take place, started at the close of the last words, and with a heart divided between the two terrors, stood in that stupefaction which is only the resting-place of misery, where it takes breath and strengthens itself for

-"stop, Mary; you can open the door, but in such a morning as this you couldn't shut it, and the wind and drift would come in an

ow there is no Irishman but will respect a death-bed, be it landlord, or agent, ay, or bailey. Oh, no, father, the hand of God is upon us, and if they res

re ease than he had expected. The storm, in fact, was subsiding; the small hard drift had ceased, a

essing the cruel, heartless, and oppressive purposes of man. But, what a scene presented itself to O'R

s of ball cartridge. We say Orange yeomen advisedly, because, at the period we speak of, Roman Catholics were not admitted into the yeomanry, unless, perhaps, one in a corps; and even out of ten corps, perhaps, you might not find the ten exceptions. When we add to this the fact, that every Protestant young man was then an Orangeman, and that a strong, relentless feeling of

by the true Tory principle, not only of supporting Protestantism, but of putting down Popery; and yet, with singular inconsistency, they were seldom or never seen within a church door, all their religion consisting in giving violent

ful Phil having declined the honor of the expedition altogether, principally, he said, in consequence of the shortness of the days, and the consequent very sudden approach of night. We cannot omit to state, that Darby O'Drive was full of consequence and importance, and led on his followers, with a roll of paper containing the list of fill those who were to be expelled, rolled up in his hand, somewhat like a baton of office. Opposed to this display stood a crowd of poor shivering wretches, with all the ma

tmas eve-a time of

others clapping their hands in distraction-some were kneeling to Heaven to implore its protection, and not a few to call down its vengeance upon their oppressors. From many of the men, especially the young and healthy, came stifled curses, and smothered determinations

ny should commence; and M'Clutchy, armed als

here all day? Why don't you commence? Whose is the first name on your list? The ejectment must proceed," addressing the poor people as much as Darby-"it must proceed. Everything we do is by Lo

ual pride in the heart of any fellow-creature, however humble;-I need not tell you, I say, that he and I are here as your true friends. I, a frail and unworthy sinner, avow myself as your friend; at least, it is the most anxious and sincere wish of my heart to do good to you; for, I trust I can honestly say, that I love my Catholic-I mean my Roman Catholic friends, and desire to meet them in the bonds of Christ. Yes, we are your friends. You know it is true that God loveth whom he chasteneth, and that it is always good to pass through the furnace of tribulation. What are we, then, b

Slime's little word in season; so that the poor dismayed people had the bitter reflection to add to their other convicti

, there arose from the trembling creatures a loud murmur of wild and unregulated lamentation, which actually startled the bailiff's, who looked as if

t on this blake hill undher sich a sky, and on sich a day, to turn us out of the only shelter we have on earth! There's people here that will die if they're brought outside the door. We did not, at laist the most part of all you see before you, think you had any thought of houldin' good your threat in suc

e disturbed you-at present I am acting altogether by Lord Cumber's orders, who desires that every one refusing

owd cap, and were blown in confusion about her head; she wore a drugget gown that had once been yellow, and a deep blue pettico

are about to work out this day. I know that plot. Be warned. Look about you here, and think of what you're going to do. Have you no feeling for ould and helpless age-for the weakness of women, the innocence of children? Are you not afraid on such a day to come near the bed of sickness, or the bed of death, with such an intention? Here's widows and orphans, the sick and the dyin', ould age half dead, Mid infancy half starved; and is it upon these, that you and blasphemin' Deaker's bloody Dashers are goin'

e removed. All I can say is, that she has taken a v

e the name of Kate Clank reached your ears, and now that you have heard it, it is not to bless you. Well, you remember when you heard it last-on the day you hunted your dogs at me, and threatened to have me horse-whipped-ay, t

ainly-laughed at her, and, in a voice of t

ere dragged out-the bedriden grand-mother had her couch of straw taken from under her. From the house of death, the corpse of an aged female was carried out amidst the shrieks and imprecations of both men and women! The sick child that clung with faintness to

nelt-they wept-they supplicated. They stated the nature of his malady-decline-from having ruptured a blood-vessel. They ran to M'Clutchy, to M'Slime, to the squat figure on ho

't be done

s Grimes, "we can't make any differ be

boy, "let them. I will onl

d rush of the blast; but the moment the father saw their polluted and

ice, "since you will have him out, le

k him now into then own care; but it was too late-he smiled as he looked into their faces, then looked at his little brother, and giving one long drawn sigh, he passed, without pain or suffering, saving a slight shudder, into happiness. O'Regan, when he saw that his nobl

boy! He is yet warm," he added, grinding his teeth and looking up to heaven, "and here beside him, I pray, that the

n a state between stupor

and I'll assist you,

persisted, however, in accomplishing all the ejectments without exception, but when this was over, he allowed them to re-occupy their miserable cab

stian sympathy as he wished to manifest for their salvation. He and M'Clutchy, to whom, by the way, he presented the truly spiritual sustenance of some good brandy out of a flask, with which he balanced the tracts

ry to the benevolence and humanity of both. "So far from the proceedings in question," the contradiction went on to say, "being marked by the wanton cruelty and inhumanity imputed to them, they were, on the contrary, as remarkable for the kindness and forbearance evinced by Messrs. M'Clutchy and M'Slime. The whole thing was a mere legal form, conducted

once supported him in the project of raising a body of cavalry for the better security of the public peace; as, indeed, it was his interest to do, inasmuch, as it advanced his own importance in the eye of government quite as much as it did M'Clutchy's. A strong case was therefore made out by this plausible intriguer.

That he had accordingly done so, and to his utter surprise, found that his anonymous informant was right. He begged to enclose copies of the papers, together with the names of the families residing in the houses where they were found. He did not like, indeed, to be called a "Conspiracy hunter," as no man more depre

e M'Clut

getting up a corps of cavalry, which is indeed a second thought, as they would be much better adapted, upon long pursuits and unde

re placed, fled the country, among whom was O'Regan, whose dying son Deaker's Dashers treated with such indefensible barbarity; and what made everything appear to fall in with his good fortune, it was much about this period that Grimes, the unfeeling man whom O'Regan

s eye hollow and wolfish with ferocity. Neither did he make any great secret of his intention to execute vengeance on those who hurried his dying child out of life whilst in the very throes of dissolution. He was never known, however, to name any names, nor to mark out any particular individual for revenge. His denunciations were general, but fearful in their import. The necessity, t

ad an ungainly twist in his legs, or in other words, because he was knock-kneed, and could not appear to advantage as an infantry officer, was the character of the corps changed from foot to cavalry, so that Phil and Handsome Harry had an opportunity of exhibiting their points together. A year had now elapsed, an