A Pessimist in Theory and Practice

moping over your neighbor's blunders; but I could not get that poor devil out of my mind. He talks as well on one subject as on another: it was I, not he, had brought him under discuss

e, and evidently all he needs is a little cheering feminine society." [Hum: feminine society puts a higher estimate on its own powers than I do, then.] "Clarice has returned. You know how enterprising she is, not to say wilful, and how fond s

the accommodations here; they are a long way from what she supposes. I called the l

gys. There ain't nothin but your room, an mine, an old Poll's, and the gerrit. Me and

ugh, and not much younger than I; but Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience, and irresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'-well, I should say so: cheeky, you might call it. Women do take such stunning liberties nowadays. My wife would reprove me for slang; but weaker words fail to express the fact, and my feelings about it. I might stand these girls coming up here after me-Clarice is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's and looks on me as a brother. But Jim-no. She must be pining for more worlds to conquer, an

changes: like to move when I git a good

r not is in this case immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant

a way. It is a long ride, but I had enough to think of. At the depot I wired, "Hold the girls. I am coming back." As I straightened up from this exercise, there was the old sinn

s." What could the old fool be thinking of? I would have giv

r motives in order to save his peace, forsooth!" I knew it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of humble pie, all the same. You may believe me or not-if you are a family man you will, without difficulty-but I had to get those women apart, and explain things to them one at a time, before I could have peace in the house. My own flesh and blood were soon mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me yet. I have been on my knees to her, so to speak-most men do it, and she expects it-but it is of no use. "My dear Clarice,"

ot read her fine Italian hand.] "He says one of your children fell down stairs: I trust the results were not serious. Sorry you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies from coming. Hodge's quarters are not palatial, but you could bunk with me, as I at first proposed; and since they were willing to rough i

f my wife's: so there's an end of his faith in me, and of any chance I might have had to set him straight. That was a fortnight ago, and I have