An Anarchist Woman
tures
, though quite as irksome, as formerly. Her mother had, of course, reproached her bitterly for her conduct in running away, and had kept up her complaint so constantly that Marie could hardly endu
er seventeen-year-old senses were highly developed by premature work and an irritating and ungenial home. So, in a kind of gloomy intensity, she let herself go in the ordinary way of unguarded young girlhood. She gave herself to a young fellow she met in the street one evening, without joy but with deep seriousness. She did not even explain to him that it was her first experience. She wanted nothing f
wrote for me, and which I quote as being typical of h
ne wonders why they are there, for what they are looking. Some of these men have brutal, sensual faces; others are cynical-looking and sneer. These, it seems, nothing can move or surprise. They have a look which says: 'Oh, I know you, I have met yo
faces; they ogle the men, and as they cross the street raise their silken skirts a trifle, showing a bit of gay stocking. Here, too, is the secret meeting-place of lovers, who clasp hands furtively, glancing around
t I could not have seen a few months before; but not as much as I can see now. Then it excited me with the sense
face in the crowd that attracted me. It was, as I afterward learned, the face of a club man, who had, on this Sunday evening, drifted with the crowd and landed at this spot. He, too, had stopped and gazed around him, idly. Several times he started as if to move on, but he apparently thought this place as g
walk away, and then for the first time his face lighted up with interest. I was apparently something new. I wore a straw hat, and a thin coat buttoned tightly about my chest. My thin little face was almost ghastly with pallor, and it made a strange contrast with my full red
replied, 'Good evening!' He still hesitated, until he saw in my face what I knew to be almost an appealing look. I knew that in the depths of my eyes a smile was lurking, and
id, smiling. 'To a meeting place i
You're jollying. That must be a v
it, as I had never yet been to a lecture. I made up for that l
go in somewhere and have s
ut let us go where there are lots of people and lig
astening to and fro. An orchestra was playing gay music, as we wound our way through the crowd to a table. I was painfully conscious that my shabby coat and straw hat attracted attention. Some of the women stared at me with a look
elf to my companion, who ordered some drinks; I don't know what they were, but they tasted good-some kind of cordial. I took longer and long
happy they are! look at that one with the bl
t envy her, if I were you-neither her happiness nor her good looks. She needs
ld be angry because he had brought me to such a place. But I watched the
aid, with contempt and some pity in h
her angrily. He did
are vile and low. But you men seem to need them,
one of that class, for he asked me questions which showed me plainly enough what he was worrying about. He encouraged m
questions. He could find out nothing about me. I would only smile and say, '
er and the room began to go round, taking with it the faces of the men and women. After this dizziness passed, I felt very happy indeed, and smiled at everybody in the room; and wanted to
ful mouth you have, what red lips. One would almost believe they were painted.
lied, hastily, 'I
So when Charles led me I was quite thankful. As we went out into the street he asked me where I was living, what I did, and if I were married, all in one breath. This made me laugh merrily, as I assured him I was
hoped my present happiness would last. My companion eagerly devoured me with his eyes, and asked me many pressing questions.
g he would see me to the house. 'I don't like to leave you alone this time of night,' he said. As we stopped in front of the dilapidated-looking frame building where I was staying for a few days, he seemed much embarrassed and not t
He drew me to him in the darkness, and I did not object, why should I? My lips seemed to prepare themselves and after o
o descend the stairs, I said: 'Ch
,' he replied 'but
re only a few days. Alice will be back w
t as he did, too, really, but I did not want him to feel so! I imagined in what a self-satisfied mood he must be, how he walked off, with his lighted cigar! He probably wondered what sort of a girl this was who had given herself so easily? Partly
t say. She had fine eyes and, by jove, what a mouth! She said, "Wednesday." I think I will go, though it is
les's desire grew: it began with indifference, but ended, I am sure, with intensity: for men are like that! Their fancy works in the absenc
moment in my life, that was all. But I decided to meet him, for only in that way could I really finish the affair. Otherwise, if I merely brok
nd eager. He greeted me with much warmth, to which I responded coldly. He suggested going inside, b
'Did not you ask me to come, and now you
rted to walk away. His tone changed to anger, as he said: 'Now, see here, Marie, I won't stand for any no
impatiently said: 'Well, to be frank, I don't want you to-night. Whether I have a right to act so, I don't k
and asked me when he might come. His inter
tter not come at a
aid. 'Do name the nigh
cried out, 'Oh, how stupid you are! Don't y
explanation, but I will answer your questions. As to who the girl is who can dare to turn you down, you know very well she is not what you think, or you wouldn't so much object to being turned down, as you call it. As to pulling you on, you were the first to speak or, at any rate, it was mutua
w of indifference: 'I was angry, it is true, but only for a moment. It was irritating to me to have
ome indignant reply, but I thought better of it and only walked away, la
nd deep dark eyes haunted him for a long time. Who was this girl who had given herself to him onc
an end and his passion for me did, no doubt, too. But, in the routine course of his club life, moments came, perhaps, when he thoug