Rootabaga Stories

: The

room

n Li

late

ty

an Ba

an

Tic

l Soup

by C

py H

oo

Swink a

Swunk a

s Sni

Pee

ny

ne

Bug Mil

o th

the

d Ald

arn

athe

fic Po

Mo

dow

lla Hand

Procession o

m Handle and

Broom, the Furnace Shovel, the Coffee P

as the Broom Handle she picked beca

ewed on long ago. It was then the Broom Handle found two black California prunes, and fastened the two California prunes just w

ding with one of the grandest processions ever seen at a rag doll wedding. And we

the spoons, what did they have? Oh, some had butter scotch, some had gravy, some had marshmallow fudge. Every one had something slickery sweet or fat to eat on the

tin bottoms. And the Tin Pan Bangers banged with knives and forks and iron and wooden bangers on the bottoms of the tin pans. And as

tered the ends of their noses with black chocolate. Some of them spread the brown chocolate nearly up to their ears. And then as they marched in the

were dirty, the checker bibs were dirty, the stripe bibs, the blue bibs and the bibs with butterflies on them, they were all dirty. And so in the wedding procession o

the outside but they were clean on the inside. There was not a speck of dirt or dust or muss or mess on the inside nor the outside of their ear

meat and the fat was thick on their ribs. It was plain to see they were saying, "Don't tickle me because I tickle so easy." And as they marched i

or eating the soup. They whistled and chuzzled and snozzled the soup and the noise they made could be heard far up at the head o

fat babies-oh no, oh no-not fat but just chubby and easy to squeeze. They marched on their chubb

own and their smiles were half fading away and their eyes were half shut or a little more than half shut. They staggered just a little as though their feet were not sure where

procession, don

Ashes Shovel

o

t he should wear and how he should wear it. Blink, Swink and Jink said, "He wants a crooked hat put on straight." Blunk, Swunk and Junk said, "He wants a straight hat put on crooked." They fussed and fussed. Blink fussed with Blunk, Swink fussed with Swunk, and Jink fussed with Junk. The first ones to make up after the fuss were Jink and Junk. They de

l six ejaculating to their mother at once, "Where is the hat ashes shovel?" But Missus Sniggers wasn't worried at all. She rubbed her chin with her finger and said softly, "Oh lah de dah, oh lah de dah, where is that hat ashes shovel, last week I had it when I was making a hat for Mister Sniggers; I remember I had that hat ashes shovel right up here over the

ight. And there stood Snoo Foo in the front yard and everybody who came by on the street, he would take off his hat to them, the crooked hat with his arm crooked and the straight hat with his arm straight. That was the end of the fuss between t

ith Jugs of

t Amb

ays. And if two boys go to the grocery for a jug of molasses together it is just like always. But if three b

ish inside him he had a freckle outside on his face. Whenever he smiled the smile

ions got fastened on his eyes and some of the suspicions got fastened on his mouth. So when he looked at ot

utside like Eeta Peeca Pie. He was all mixed up inside with wishes and suspicions. So he had a few freckles and a few suspi

up wishes and suspicions. They all looked different from each other. Each one

creeps in your heart night and day, singing a li

was an ambition to go railroading, to ride on railroad cars night and day, year

sad it was hard to live and stand for it, they would all three put their hand

, broke

way to

k, broke

the railr

g of molasses." All three got to the grocery at the same time. And all three went out of the door of the grocery together

tretching his neck looking straight up into the slippery elm tree. He said it was always

lasses. And the jug went ka-flump, ka-flumpety-flump down on the stone sidew

unning out of a broken jug, over a stone sidewalk und

the molasses wit

's a lotta fun," he said. "It tickles all over." So Meeney Miney

d. One got littler. Another got

e like you look to us," said Meeney Miney and Miney Mo to Eeta Peeca Pie. And then because their secret am

passed many houses of spiders and ants. In front of one house

frying pan on your h

wear the frying pan on their

en you are frying with the fry

to any respectable l

e no new style hats?

new style frying pans

ose spiders. On the main street was a store with a show window full of pink

rasols here," sai

parasol apiece,

t gladly," s

u do it?"

o," answered th

id it

r was ot

u never g

arasol i

o when the par

n they will all walk back to me here in this store on main street. I can not sell you something I know you will surely lose. Neither can I

d five pink parasols came waltzing in

s. Take your parasols and go. You will f

d wishes inside him,

had suspicions,"

l mixed up wishes and su

secret ambitions were creeping and eating, they put the

And they had luck first of all the first hour they were in

millionaire?"

t a million,"

llion

lion f

ants f

s if you're goi

y s

you got no fleems you can't buy nothing nor anything. But

surpri

freckles," he said to Eeta Peeca Pie, f

d you're sad-like," he said to Meeney Miney f

ions and you look mixed up," he said to Miney Mo, sticking

they had been wishing all their lives, and had suspicio

Country. They went to the railroad stations and bought tickets for the fast trains and the sl

g Country they ate wonder ham from the famous Potato

ems were gone. Then whenever they wanted a railroad ride or something to eat or a place to sleep, they put their hands on ea

under the big green leaves. And far above them they saw a dim black cloud and they heard a shaking and a rustling and a spattering. They d

fell onto the heads and shoulders of all th

one, two, three. And when they jumped up and ran out of the p

g on the stone sidewalk under the slippery elm tree, their mothers said it was car

ps and creeps in your heart night and day, singing

he Snip's T

hen the Wi

ose name was Bimbo the Snip. He forgot nearly everything h

nd Bimbo the Snip sitting on the front steps with hi

nose and wiggled my fingers at the iceman the wind changed. And just like mother alway

it and pulled. He pushed with his foot and heel against it. And all the time the t

cleaning department sent for the head vaccinator of the vaccination bureau of the health department. The head vaccinator of the vaccination bure

"If you hit the thumb six times with the end of a t

standing on a street corner with a whistle

nip's thumb is fastened to his nose and will not come loose till

place standing on the corner telling the wagons and

se and will not come loose till it is hit with the end of a traffic policeman's club six times and the traffic policeman

th a whistle so I can climb up and whist

d and looked and asked and asked till his feet and his eye

n he was digging sewer ditches. And the old woman was carrying a bundle of picked-up

ve I. You are carrying a load on your back people

ck is an old umbrella handle maker. He has a ladder with a whistle. He climbs on the ladder wh

ll not come loose till it is hit with the end of a traffic policeman's club six times and the traffic policeman cannot leave the corner where he is telling the traffic which w

on a long, long umbrella handle and I will need the ladder to climb up and the whistle t

raffic policeman while the traffic policeman went to the home of Bevo the Hike where Bimbo the Snip was sitting

the club. And the thumb stuck fast. But the sixth time it was hit

ey, and took the ladder with the whistle back to

ll tickled. He said to his father, "I will be careful how I stick my t

the place of the