The Idiot at Home

re finally settled in our new house I move we celebrate. Let's give a dinner to my old friends of Mrs. Smithers's; they were nice old people, and I shoul

Idiot, placidly, as she sweetened her husband's coffee.

ed his forehea

him that they didn't take after anybody that either of us ever knew. They have started in on a line of Idiocy th

diot l

them, but I am a little afraid he wants to

ays was anxious to experiment. Many a time I h

new system of home training," observed Mrs. Idiot, "and they bot

e Idiot, with a sly glance at his son, who was stowing awa

t to get raw material somewhere, and I

my, helping himself liberally and

ou 'ain't a-goin'. It may be that I shall interfere to the extent of demanding to know what security for your safe return is offered, b

dded in an undertone, presumably to the bu

omebody, since it involved a visit to some strange and therefore fas

oy from somebody else for me to play with. I don't see why you don't swap her off for a boy, anyhow. I like h

some day you will regret. When you get older you will recall this dictum of yours, that 'gi

then reverting to his father's choice of

le girl. "Smarty don't

Idiot. "I wish to talk to your mother, and I haven't got all day. You'll be

ing to say that I can't say to myself. I'd rath

aid the Idi

thought Mollie ought to be swapped off for something, it didn't matter what as long

to Mr. and Mrs. Pedagog and the others

the Idiot. "It has been more than s

you?" asked Mrs. Idiot, with a smile. "I remember hea

six years, pa

, severely, "you are the most absur

You always told me to ask you when I wanted t

bserved Mollie, with some superi

nced at his w

old my own, but things seem to have changed. Make it dinner; and, Tommy, when you have deep problems to solve, like h

I thought maybe you knew. I thoug

LIBRARY OF FI

une, had come into possession of his own again, and now possessed a library of first editions that auctioneers looked upon with envious eyes, and which aroused the hatred of many another collector. The Doctor had prospered equally, and was now one of the most successful operators for appendicitis; in fact, could now afford to refuse all other practice than that involved in that delicate and popular line of work. The genial gentleman who occasionally imbibed had not wholly reformed, bu

ner in the business of his father-in-law, and even in bad times had managed to save something, until now, with two children, aged five and six, he found himself the possessor of his ow

o resign from the club because they say I am offensive about this place, and Watson says my conversation has becom

s and pans and kettles and things," Mrs. Idi

n they be not to be interested in pots and pans and kettles

HAD THE FUN O

of buying them, perhap

es-pins, and what is more, it was instructive. I never knew before what countless varieties of clothes-pins there were. There's the plain kind of commerce that look like a pair of legs with a polo-cap on. I was brought up on those, and I used to steal them when I was a small boy, to act as understudies for Noah and Shem and Ham and Japheth in my Noah's ark. Then t

HANG ONTO A GA

"The idea of preferring to talk of Wagner

rrect. Anybody can talk about Wagner. Any person who knows a picture from a cable-car can talk with seeming intelligence on art, and even

said Mrs. Id

stion about Wagner, the musical editor would give me an answer within twenty-four hours; but with reference to egg-beaters it would take 'em a week to find out. And that's just

that is probably due to the fact that they con

AY WAGNER IS MORE I

ch he was waxing so enthusiastic from the dresser drawer. "Just look at that!" he cried, turning the cog-wheel which set the three intersecting m

"that I have a leaning that way myself. Of cou

nded the Idiot. "Can you

. Idiot replied

without an egg-beater?"

edged herself defeated, and so charmingly withal, that the next day when her husband returned ho

ople who know when to give in, and do give in as amiably as you do, my dear, deserve to be rewarded; and,