The Inventions of the Idiot

lantic Trol

ed seats at the breakfast-table, "I would devote a tenth of my income to the poor, a tenth to children's

our wealth," said Mr. Whitechoker, gracious

le; that wherever he should go I should go, and that, of the funds devoted to his education thr

" put in the Bibliomaniac. "I wish I had

Idiot. "I began collecting books once, but I gave it up and took to collecting coins. I

r meaning," said Mr. Whitec

d, will look for coins of a common sort which do not command fabulous prices.' So I chose United States five-dollar gold pieces, irrespective of dates, for my collection, and the result is moderate affluence. I

low-collector, even though their aims were different. It is always difficult for a man whose ten-thousand-dollar library has brought six hundred dollars in the au

in travel, do you?

ng broadens the mind so m

y. "Or, to put it more favorably, don't you think there would be danger in taking the germ of a mind in

said the Idiot. "But, if I were you, I wouldn'

the School-master, "

ions in the back of my dictionary, like 'Status quo ante,' 'In vino veritas,' and 'Et tu, Brute.' However, as I said before, I'd like to travel, and I would if it

Gentleman who occasionally imbibed. "I have crossed the ocean

tand them, I am afraid. Why, only last summer I took a drive off in the country, and the motion of the wagon going over the thank-ye-marms in the road made me so sea-sick bef

ning newspaper will affect you similarly as you read it. If you ever have a birthday, let us know, and we'll help you to ov

d invent a preventive of sea-sickness. I'd buy a bottle and go abroad at once on

a nostrum," s

Genial Old Gentleman who occasi

sea-sick?" ask

l that I never thought to inquire what was the matter with me. But

l," said the Idiot, af

chool-master. "It is so probable that you could. Why not s

cab while speeding over the water. I should think that would be exhilarating enough. Just imagine how fine it would be on a stormy day to sit looking out of yo

al," growled th

Bliss is a sort of mugwump blessing-too full o

rk and London never can be. If we had told our grandfathers a hundred years ago that a cable f

ol-master. "But we know more

in 1799, had never even heard of Andrew Jackson, and if you had asked

he advance of the centuries we have ourselves developed a certain amount of brains-enough, at least, to understand that there is a limit even to the possibilities of electricity. Now, when you say that just because an Atlantic cable would have been regarded as an object of

, I think, Mr. Pedagog," said the Idiot. "Mr. Whitecho

I do not think Mr. Whitechoker can justify his conclusions, and talks without having given the subject concerning which he has spoken due reflection. The cable runs along the solid f

ea, but I did mean to say that man has made such wonderful advances in the past hundred years that we cannot really state the lim

e as inventors," said the Idiot.

what?" retorte

of your wire in London and New York, and from coast to coast station two lines of sufficient stren

g storm of which you have spoken," said Mr. Pedagog, impati

t. Mr. Pedagog lapsed into a hopelessly wrat

and that the promoters will make you superinte

using my influence to have you put in charge of the gas service. Meantime, however, it seems to me that our ocean steamships could be develop

sition to which I agree. Ten years ago eight days was considered a good trip. With the d

wo days because of the ext

observed the

enough, there isn't any reason why the tri

the Bibliomaniac. "I do

w, you say, has

es

said the Idiot. "So, if it takes a man two hours to succumb to sea-sickness, a boat going over in less than that time would eliminate sea-sickness

" cried Mr. Whitec

tay in this country until this style of greyhound is perfected. Then, gentlem

dagog-"I am sure that we all h

e to go abroad?"

if you were to change your mind the change could not fail t

ve become attached to it; but there is one thing about it, there is plenty of it, so that in case any of you gentlemen find your own insufficient I shal

o-morrow, Mr. Idiot," said

bbling-paper has run out. I wanted to put in

said Mr. Pedagog, with

"And, strange to say, sir, you were to be the hero, if by