The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies

taxes; when the Gentleman's Magazine had ill words for the infidel alien; when Jewish marriages were invalid and bequests for Hebrew colleges void; when a prophet prophesying Primrose Da

e Death of Nelson" was a choir-boy in the Great Synagogue; Joseph Grobstock, pillar of the same, emerged one afternoon into the sp

behalf of Royal George and "our most amiable Queen, Charlotte." The congregation was large and fashionable-far more so than when only a heavenly sovereign was concerned

, as though ready at any moment to return from the Captivity. Their woebegone air was achieved almost entirely by not washing-it owed little to nature, to adventitious aids in the shape of deformities. The merest sprinkling boasted of physical afflictions, and none exposed sores like the lazars of Italy or contortions like the cripples of Constantinople. Such crude methods are eschewed in the fine art of schnorring. A green shade might denote weakness of sight

sly into the bag. There was a moment of breathless expectation among the beggars, and Joseph Grobstock had a moment of exquisite consciousness of importance, as he stood there swelling in the sunshine. There was no middle class to speak of in the eighteenth-century Jewry; the world was divided into rich and poor, and the rich were very, very rich, and the poor very, very poor, so that everyone knew his station. Joseph Grobstock was satisfied with that in which it had pleased God to plac

S HAND INT

est from his nose; for it was a broad humour, not a subtle. It enabled him to extract pleasure from seeing a fellow-mortal's hat roll

everishly tearing open his package, had found a florin, and, as by electricity, all except the blind beggar were aware that Joseph Grobstock was distributing florins. The distributor partook of the general consciou

e-you have given me a p

ence. It was now obvious that the great man was distributing prize-packets, and the excitement of the piebald crowd grew momently. Grobstock went on dipping, lynx-eyed against second applications. One of the few pieces of g

ON HIS S

d benedictions, a stretching and withdrawing of palms, and a swift shifting of figures, that made the scene a farrago of excitements. So that the broad grin was one of gratification as well as of amusement, and part of the gratification sprang from a real kindliness of heart-for Grobstock was an easy-going man with whom the world had gone easy. The Schnorrers were exhausted before the packets, but the philanthropist was in no anxiety to be rid of the remn

ded, turbaned personage, a first glance at whom showed him of the true tribe. Mechanically Joseph Grobst

the philanthropist loitering awkwardly to mark the issue. Suddenly

hissed the stranger, from between his flash

red the magnate, wholly taken aback.

re, you came

pecially one as heavy as a blanket, with buttons the size of compasses and flaps reaching nearly to his shoe-buckles, even though its length were only congruous with that of his undercoat, which already reached the bottoms of his knee-breeches. Finally, who but a Schnorrer would wear this overcoat cloak-wise, with dangling sleeves, full of armless suggestion from a side view? Quite apart from the shabbiness of the snuff-coloured fabric, it was amply evident that the wearer did not dress by rule or measure. Yet the disproportions of his attire did but enhance the picture

of the mendicant only too impressive; he

help you,"

anthropist's face. It struck him on the bridge of the nose, but impinged so mildly that he felt at once what was the

ON THE BRIDGE

to feel shamefaced, fumbled sheepishly in his pocket for a crown; then hesitated, as fearing this peace-offering would not altogether suffice with so rare a spirit,

esay you feel hurt. Let me assure you I did not know

edly. "You let him make up the packets, and he has stolen my mon

rupted the magnate meekly. "I

id not know what was in the

d gold, in the greater number silver, in a few copper, in one alo

artless jesting with the poor-making a sport for yourself of their misfortunes, even as the Philistines sported with Samson. The good deed you might have

lanthropist, bewildered by t

s as one who spills his blood? And have you not put me to shame-if anyon

agogue felt as if his

gly. "I have not shed their blood-have I

g in the world-not he who is rich to-day is rich to-morrow, but this one He brings up, and this one He brings do

. The poor man put his hand involuntarily to his high collar as if to explain away his appare

now well that God sits turning a wheel-therefore I did not presume to turn it myself. Did I not let Providence select who should have the silver and who the gol

bai (treasurer) of the Great Synagogue. You see I know you, Joseph Grobstock. Has not the beadle of your Synagogue boasted to me that you have given him a guinea for brushing your spatterdashes? Would you think of offering him a pac

enough to allow Grobstock to rec

en next you would discuss me, speak with the Psalms-men, not the beadle. Never have I neglected the needy.

he Schnorrer scornfully. "Is

re mar

d children are the only

Grobstock, with a twin

and the Commandments. He marries while he is young-and his spouse is not cursed with barren

e," broke in Grobstock laughingly. "Or stay-since

rejoined the Schnorrer w

name," said Grobstoc

rzillai Azevedo da Cost

exclaimed the

on yours that you are a Tedesco? It is the first ti

d Grobstock, beginnin

d deeds away from my own people-they have too few opportunities for beneficence

, and an East India Directo

have been established here for generations; in the Peninsula our ancestors graced the courts of kings, and controlled the purse-strings of princes; in Holland we held the empery of trade. Ours have been the poets and scholars in Israe

bstock sharply. "All

pleasure to handle gold." There was a note of wistful pathos in the latter remark which took off the edge of the former, and

aste away," h

is hand, and digging his staff into the cobblestones he journeyed fo

felt conscience stricken, and had recourse to his pockets instead in his progress through the narrow jostling market-street, where he scarcely ever bought anything personally save fish and good deeds. He was a connoisseur in both. To-day he picked up many a good deed cheap, paying pennies for articles he did not take away-shoe-latchets and

id Grobstock jovially, "I'll t

ce in the crowd, "I am

d. It was the vo

n't give me my price. It is the only one I have left," he added, half for

passionate contempt, and sent two golde

terness. He was struck momentarily dumb. His face purpled. The scales of the sal

onathan," he repeated, sp

is too late. This is not an auctio

e point of apoplexy. "You!" he cried. "

HOW DARE YOU

ted Manasseh. "Would yo

en my money, k

free-will offering, for the good of your wife's soul? I call on

eggar-with a wife and children. How can you have the face to go and spend two gu

vated his ar

hat mollified the magnate. He felt that there was reason in the beggar's point of view-though it was a point to which he would never himself have risen, unaided. But righteous anger still simmered in him; he felt vaguely that there was something to

good name which you have bespattered in the presence of my very tradesmen. Again I call upon you to

hy he appeared to himself like a whipped cur, or how what should

use for that bag of yours, I will relieve you of its burden by taking my salmon home in it." He took the canvas bag from the limp

AD PROT

ll," said the Sch

en he found his tongue. "The bag is not empty-t

ptation to continue shedding the blood of the poor, and I shall be saved from s

" began G

buke. I ought not to have wasted two guineas on one fish. It was not worth it. Come over here, and I will tell you something." He walked out of earshot of the by-standers, turning down a side alley opposite the stall, and becko

ave you to say?" h

guineas-no, on my soul! If you had not come up I should have got it for twenty-five shillings. Jonathan stuck on the price when he thought you would buy.

elt his grievance disappea

you are a gentleman, capable of be

was sealed by his saying, "And so I should not like you to have it

kly: "You will find more than s

uest! Yes, I will take supper with you next Friday, and we will welcome the Bride-the holy Sabbath-together! Never before have I sat

ave Sabbath-guests,

hide its benefactions. Do not I, Manasseh Bueno Barzillai Azevedo da Costa, have at my Sabbath-table every week Yankelé ben Yitzchok-a Pole? And if I have a Tedesco at my table, why should I draw the line there? Why should

ng. For an instant Grobstock stood glued to the spot, crushed by a

STICK FRA

from the town on Friday evening, but that would necessitate troublesome explanations. And Manasseh would come again the next Friday. That was certain. Manasseh would be like grim death-his coming, though it might b

called in ago

stock found he was mistaken in imag

me?" enquire

e East India Director

or you?" said Ma

-very much-if I

as in his throat

e-" said Manass

uld get him to doff those musty garments of his he might almost pass him off as a prince of the blood, foreign by his beard-at any rat

r eager. He hastened to explain. "No, not quite that. Second-hand things I am still wearing. My old

cuse me," said Manasseh, wi

mured Grobstock, his b

id Manasseh, s

bout fit you," pleade

"Still, since he is your clothes-receiver, I could not think of interfering with his office. It is not eti

ast Passover was the first time I gave them to him, because

cousin's heir," said Manasseh. "He exp

him no suc

eh hes

in that

repeated Grobsto

to have the appointment

echoed Grob

escended to explain, "it hurts o

hen, feeling himself slipping into future embarrassments, he added timidl

rupted reassuringly, "I will

em," cried Grobstoc

written, 'I made haste and delayed not!' Follow me!" Grobstock suppressed a groan. Here had all his man?uvring landed him in a worse plight than ever. He would have to present Manasseh to the

e the salmon home to yo

our good deed at once. My wife is unawa

uch a loafer. Who would suspect that the fish and even the bag belonged to the porter, though purchased with the gentleman's money? Grobstock silently thanked Providence for the ingenious way in which it had contrived to save his self-respect. As a mere fish-carrier Manasseh would attract n

treet corner Grobstock's composure began to desert him: he took out his handsomely ornamented snuff-box and administered to himself a mig

RED A MIGH

second," he cri

murmured Grobs

front," Manasseh replied severely. "Hol

ly removed every particle with such pa

last, as politely as h

ave my coat spoiled. By the time it comes to me it

o much trouble?" said Grobs

here now! that is the cleanest I can get it. You would escape these droppings if you held your

He pushed open the gate, ran up the steps of the mansion and knocked thun

, slouching limply, and carr