The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies

h-porter, the financier hastened up the steps so as

bly taken aback by the spec

" cried Grobstock despera

LMON TO T

settle with you," he cried, congratulating himself on a phrase that would carry another meaning to Wilkinson's ears. He dre

al my salmon, after all?

mean to steal it! I

ment, even as these stone figures violate the Second. Your invitation to me to acc

o option but to give it to Wilkinson, because-because-" Grobstock would

ine man, a man of honour. I admit that I placed my fish in your hands. But because I

k grasped at the word "repay" as a sw

as. You will get another salmon, and more cheaply. As you poi

h contemptuously. "Why you offere

ath him to bargain. And he remembered th

guineas," he said paci

Manasseh, spurning them.

gasped G

e you have forced me into the fish trade,

a crown

compen

red Grobstock, exasperate

or not eating the salmon myself. For it is not as if I offered it you-I merely entrusted it to you, and it is ordained in Exodus that if a man shall deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast

" spluttered Grobstock

imperturbably, and, lifting up h

d Grobstock. "Wh

kinson to bring

will not

k pages-much grander than Wilkinson-and they tremble at my nod. At Baron D'Aguilar's m

is your se

. I am not of those who sell things in the street

will satisfy eac

over, 'God loves the man who gives not way to wrath nor stickles fo

ere the

red. "You called

id Manasseh, "I wished

he three. Wilkinson took i

cleverly?" said Manasseh.

e-

re than the bare crown I ga

ve my

s that his master was a thief? No, sir, I was careful not to sh

"Nay, here are three!" He turned out his bre

two. You had best keep the other-you may want a li

is bad to be left with nothing in one's pocket-I know the feeling, and can sy

he had the air of Wilkinson, s

atitude for this unexpected favour, Grobstock pocketed the silver insult without further ado, and led the way towards the second-hand clothes. He walked gingerly, so as not to awaken his wi

obe with a plateglass front in Grobs

n the rear of the mansion. Leaning on his staff, he watched the couples promenading among the sunlit parterres and amid the shrubberies, in the cool freshness of declin

RUMMAGED

same benign aspect-the litter Grobstock had spread upon the bed-a medley of articles in excellent condition, gorgeous neckerchiefs piled in three-cornered hats, and bu

ried, and hastene

bstock, in astonished apprehension

nt," said Manasseh, and

f vague alarms. He ran out on the landing. "What

y!" said

unworn which he had carelessly thrown in. It was while replacing this in the wardrobe that he heard sounds of objurgation. The cook's voice-Hibernian and high-pitched-travelled unmistakably to his ears, and brought fresh trepidation to his heart. He repaired to the landing again, and craned his neck over the ba

. Luckily your cook had not yet removed the fish from the bag-I chid her all the same for neglecting to put it into water, and she opened her mouth not in wisdom. If she had not been a heathen I should have suspected her of trickery, for I knew nothing

e kitchen was not pleasant to Grobstock. However, he o

ed me. I was wondering if you h

scal-and made as if he would overhaul his garme

my looking?" he stam

ded, commencing to draw distinctions with his thumb, "I should find anything in my pockets that is of no value to anybody but you

tion despite his own clarity of financial insight; he only felt vagu

ed not me to teach you your duty. You cannot

es says nothing

or to gather the fallen fruit of thy vineyard? You will admit that Moses would have added a prohibition against searching minutely the pockets of cast-off garments, were it not that for forty years our ancestors had to wander in the wilderness in the same clothes, which miraculously waxed with thei

to scrutinise his pockets, or to feel the linings for odd coins. After a

e thought his troubles had now come to an end-fo

y," replied Manasseh, with a touch of res

ere must be a

ck? Would you have me look like an old clo' man?

resignedly. "If there's an

of which were carelessly open, while every lock had a key sticking in it. They had

EFULLY EXAMIN

are only a few trifles-a pair of galligaskins and such like-so that if you

y laughed. The nearer the departure of t

for the first time since his return from the unde

darkness, like a tropical landscape. His own face grew white. The Schnorrer utte

now?" falter

pair of pa

OF PANTALOONS!

er. "Nonsense! nons

loons!" reiterated the

re," said Grobstock uneasily. The Sc

ed his fist on the dressing-table

of-pan-ta-loons

e donor had a bad q

ou-m-mean-the new pair I found had

g. I left the room, thinking I had to do with a man of honour. If you had taken an old

have to go to a reception to-morrow, and they ar

upted the Schnorrer, in

e with pricks of compunction. Da Costa completed his task, but could not shut the overcrowded box. Grobstock silently seated his weighty person upon the lid. Manasseh neither resented nor welcomed him. When he ha

E SITTER O

e conscience-stricken

ammed the door instead, shutt

f and went to the window, and stood watching the sun set behind the trees of the Tenterground. "At any rate I've done with him," he said, a

y. She was a pale, puffy-faced, portly matron, with a pe

nson, my de

use. I want him, but cook

h dawning uneasiness, looking

a. It was a picture of Wilkinson-Wilkinson the austere, Wilkinson the unbending-tre

anything on his shoulders but his livery. Grobstock would have as soon dreamt o

e window curtains

cried his wife. "What i

Shem himself!" gasped

What are yo

othi

new attitude. She concluded that her husband's agitation must have some connection with a beautiful brunette who was tasting the cool of the evening

tock. Was he never to

ou to send

asseh resurged under

did not send him anywh

h language for the ears of

ced out of the room with

d in perspiration, he sought his master with a message, which he deli

that he has decided on reconsideration not to bre

ck grimly. "And, pray, how

ld me t

old

ld me to," said Wilkinson

es, he felt a secret pleasure in Wilkinson's humiliation-but for the Schnorrer he would never have known that Wilkinson's

to carry it to a c

worth while-the di

s house?" enquired

Aldgate, with a handsome po

ve hard not to

he box to t

k strove

e, sir, I thought at first he brought home your fish

the truth. Could he have been the victim of a practical joke, a prank? Did not a natural aristocracy ooze from every pore of his mysteri

d Wilkinson in p

ines or sups out," Grobstock added lightly. "I only brought

got to tell you he hopes you wil

your mi

eman was coming to us on Friday," s

admitte

is

st, not a

o learn about my gue

aren

u think tha

your servants?

ll me anything-if he has o

it best to kiss

EST TO KISS M

, I suppose?" she

te. He has promis

lk; her hair was done in a tuft and round her neck was an "esclavage," consisting of festoons of gold chains. The Sabbath table was equally festive with its ponderous silver candelabra, coffee-urn, and consecration cup, its

at his guest Grobsto

nd figure loomed in Manasseh's wake-a short Schnorrer, even dingier than da Costa, and with none of his dignity,

ined glued to her c

norrers, "I have brought with me my frien

, grinning har

coming," Grobstock rejoine

ings?" Manasseh reminded him quietly. "It is so good of him to a

in was in a whirl, the evidence of her senses conflicting with vague doubts of the po

benefit of her doubts. "My dear,"

llai Azevedo da Costa

pressed. She bowed, but words of welco

e. I do not doubt, Mrs. Grobstock, that as a pious woman, the daughter of

KELé BEN YITZCHOK

d her lips murmuring the conventional phra

h gracefully. "Is not the hospitality of Mo

nal young bloods and old bucks not of the Jewish faith (nor any other). But she had never before encountered a personage so magnific

m the hostess. He placed Manasseh next to his Polish parasite, and seated himself as a buffer between his guests and his wife. He wa

Mrs. Grobstock?" remarked Manasseh as he took his seat. "I neve

Spanish grandees. She seized an early opportunity, when the Sephardic Schnorrer was taking his coffee from Wilkinson, of putting the question to her husband, who fell in weakly with her illusions. He knew there was no danger of Manasseh's beggarly status leaking out; no expressions of gratitude were likely t

lice of salmon," said Mana

?" asked the hostess,

da Costa on Wednes

present," said the hostess, her resentment diminishing. "We had company last night, and everybody pra

tter, except at the house of the President of the Deputados. But Yankelé

ched a muff

said Manasseh. "Make yourself at home-remember yo

nd vent in a complaint tha

rfect," said Mrs. Grobstock.

. "It does not want vinegar," was his verdict; "but a little more oil w

big dinners at the London Tavern had reached Mrs. Gr

so good," she observed

"in kneading and puf

e quite as nice," sa

s for almond-cakes, Hyman himself makes none better th

med Grobstock, "the W

ow to make coffee, though I can tell you do not get it di

iqued with curiosity as to

in my house," he said boldly, "but wh

lions," sai

me so. Didn't

rer. That was the hous

once that the Schnorrer had merely had the clothes co

ly, "you are spluttering sauce all over that

is wife, and he was now too deeply enmeshed in falsehoods by default. But he manage

he to know we had quarrelled? He would hav

ine. But why did y

to wear them? No, I kno

saying, Mr. da Costa

plied Grobstock glibly; "wondering if h

ough of Dan Mendoza at supper l

bout," said the Schnorrer, fixing

able, knowing he was selling his soul to the King

Only Dan Mendoza being a Portuguese I happened

a, "he should be excommunicated-a

If you had seen him lick the Badger in thirt

ber it is the Sabbath!

ur Dan Mendoza for your David

cultivated Hebrew philology and the Muses, and broke a lance in defence of his creed

er!" cried Grobstock. "He makes

be for more copies,

them," rejoined Grob

anasseh declared with dignity, "and a doz

Grobstock, with grim humour

terposed the hostess. "How many men, born to great

d da Costa. "Men-of-th

y, assisted by Yankelé, and ere he left he said to

she answere

pleased to marry your

mured, but her husband's exclamation

rcles-would be more easily able

obstock, mollified in one di

do not think I, a Sephardi

eed your assistance," r

r in the marriage of greater men's daughters. You see, when I recommend a maiden or a young man it is from no surface knowledge. I hav

arewell. Mrs. Grobstock thought he need not be abo

wing him to the door. "I am so glad you