The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies

cy as to my rank, so that the eyes of the whole table were on me when I entered. I ate with the ease of one conscious of giving involuntary lessons in etiquette to a furtive-glanc

ndignation, "I promised to tell no one

hey know then?"

f they read it in the Visit

t me. One wet morning we even congratulated ourselves on our luxurious sitting-room, as we sat and smoked before the rain-whipt sea, till, un

is lordship. We've 'ad such a influx of visitors for the

I walked to my usual seat near the window, with anger flaming duskily on my

surveyed my serviette. At my side was one of the most charming girls I had ever met. When the Heidsieck came,

a hardened materialist hesitate to resolve her into a physiological formula. It was not long before I offered to pass her the pepper. She declined with thanks

Paris," she said; "but up ti

prejudice against Americans-chiefly, I believe, because they always seem to be having "a lo

d joke about good Americans going there when they die.

, laughing merrily. There was no twang

eaven," I answered: "an excur

g back," she said, sh

you die?" I a

armer climate then!" she

r that," I answered

s twinkle in her blue

spry at giving strang

give certificates,"

ates, my lord?" sh

ertificates," but her last two sy

now me?" I

ordship," wi

ltered. "You've

" she a

I repeate

my l

and re-fill

" I said, when he was

enigmatically. "Surely you don't

I do," I rep

said, with her American candour. "You English lord

I sta

. My aunt here, that lady on my left,-she's a widow and half a Bri

want to?" I exc

all very well for my aunt. She's left her children at home. That's happ

is frank," I

uages you've forgotten how t

lightful, lending the last touch of charm to her original utterances. I looked up suddenly, and saw the Infant and Towers glaring enviously at me from the ot

our sitting-room that night. "Ther

ipping creature, I warn you that bloated aristocracy will have to settle

part of the profits

you suppose Jones sat her next to you

to go out with me alone, t

nfant. "We don't allow you

was telling us all about her. Her name's Harper-Ethelbert

got very chummy, and I'm going to take her for a row to-morr

"Either you surrender her to the syn

mpromise!" I s

ur compromising her we want to sta

vite her to lunch after the row, and

know she'll co

f I ask her

both already!" cried the Inf

you already,"

use the capital of the syn

he kind," I r

land since she left New York, a newly married wife, twenty years before. She seemed greatly interested in these details. Ethelberta paid no attention to her aunt, but a great deal to my friends. Several times I found myself gnawing my lip instead of

glad that he made amends for the general neglect of Mrs. Windpeg by offering her the choicest titbits; but I have no clear recollection of anything but Ethelberta. Her face was my Review, though there was no powder on it. The play of light on her cheeks and hair was all the man?uvres I cared for-th

r at dinner. I fancied she grew paler, but I could n

he said simply.

"My beautiful holiday is

, life was one long holid

unter of the lowest type. No; better to pass from her ken, leaving her memory of me untainted by suspicion-leaving my memory of her an idyllic, unfinished dream. And yet I could not help reflecting, with agony, that if I had not begun under false colours, if I had come to he

nything but a long hol

n hereditary legis

ereditary disease I compl

t th

replied de

ughed

s an original

fered from it: at le

is usually supposed to h

r plate, so that I strove

. "Don't you think so, Miss Harper-E

any comfort," s

ore than comfo

ets in my own breast. Besides, had I not seen she was a flirt? I continued to call her Ethelberta, but that was all. When we rose from table I had not spoken; knowing that my friends would claim my socie

ers said when I came into our ro

soned bachelor like me. Heigho! I shall be

that the mortality of your district has declined

right!" I exclaimed,

is a stunner,

Merton that's damaged,

't an heiress-" be

s, we'd better ask for our bills; we've got to be off in t

ing for Jones; he found two pretexts an hour to come and gaze upon me. Whe

, guessing what was up. "We'll leave

quired eagerly, when

e!" I groaned, letting the accursed

nable!" sai

it!" Towers ad

said, "I've only got si

brought ten,

age-sails and yacht-dri

However, I suppose, before going into divid

on the three bills. We held a long council of war, discussing the possibilities of surreptitious pledging-t

on Towers. "Why didn't you

t better thing

orning drove us to the most despera

of getting the coin, Tedd

at?" I cri

he hei

r sense he meant it, it was a cruel and un

I'm not in an office like you, bound to be back to the day-I s

o get it from?"

ed excitedly; "I'll write

ire?" said

sixpence," I said; "we must be economic