The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies

Treasurer of the Great Synagogue, Joseph Grobstock, a martial music clove suddenly the quiet evening air, and set the Schnorrers' pulses bounding. From the Tentergr

ith swelling breast. "

GO MY SO

ejaculated Yankel

re returning to the India

lé, shrugging his shoulders

dpate at whose house I have just entertained you is a Dir

elé was by nature a droll, and it cost him a good deal to take his patron as seriously as that potentate took himself. Perhaps if Manasseh Bueno Barzillai Azevedo

is client's eye, the patron moved on s

en the truth. The moon was peeping from behind a white cloud, and the air was soft, and broken shadows of foliage lay across the path, and

ged his should

t was as if the cloud had overspread the moon, and a thick veil had fallen ove

u have indeed made it a

rrers waved his s

night ven I am mid you,"

hould have admitted to my hearth and Grobstock's tabl

also a Tedesco,"

ned da Costa. "I cannot make out how I

"P'raps ven Grobstock had really had a gi

rdi cannot marry a Tedesco!

so? Dat is a rise. If Grobstock's daughter had married you, sh

then, as Grobstock's daughter do

Yankelé, "vould you rader ma

di, of co

rupted the Pole hastily. "You be

anasseh

out a Sephardi maiden and ved her. P'raps you c

as visibly

our taste?" he a

Yankelé. "Even ven she had a face like a Passov

beauty do yo

style," plumply a

ny like that," said d

Sharon. But den dere are

iel, the corpse-watcher's daughter. People

like cut out of de fader's face! Besides, consider his occupation! You vou

of any good-looking girl

ting smile. "Say not dat! Have you not told G

seh shook

bly; "I could not get a really beaudiful g

not," said Manass

took the

t hope to call y

a spasm of astonishment and ind

ckly, indicating a flamboyant picture of a f

T BE A FI

nd had stopped before Goodman's Fie

," he said graciously. "W

is hal

There was a farce by O'Keefe to start with. The ni

Sabbath-ve m

thful righteous surprise. "Did you t

Pole, abashed. "But yo

me the pleasure of acce

your

sseh. "I haven't been to the play myself for over a year

ng back, b

Manasseh encouragingly. "C

vill not

show you Manasseh Bueno Barzillai Azevedo da Costa is a man whose word is the Law of Moses; true as the Talmud. Walk straight t

dent in the powers of his extraordinary protector,

ng, too?" he sai

end to miss the perfo

hnorrer pass unquestioned as one who had gone out between the acts. But the visitor was too dingy for anything but the stage-door-he had the air of those nondescript beings who ha

said Yankelé,

s your

vant no

rejoined the little m

as given me a s

u'd swear to th

ad. He ga

t in h

es

you vos a-say

e s

is vay,

ist pointed t

did no

cried the little h

going into Mr.

And the official seized him by the scruff of the

n! what'

EN! WHAT

. He released his hold of the Schnorrer and looked up, to behold a str

ing this poor man?

lf resentfully. "Expect 'e 'ails from Saffron 'Ill, and 'as 'is eye on the v

" said Manasseh, ominously calm, w

astonished and vaguely ala

s! You low, beggarly rapscallion! And so

Costa?" falter

sorry I did not manage to come here before you, and spare you this insulting treatment! And as for you, my fine fellow, let me tell you that you make a great mistake in judging from appearances. There are some good friends of mine who

ery sorr

only what he appears. Surely, because I wish to give a treat to a poor man who has, perhaps, never been to the play in his life, I

said the humorist humbly. "But you w

like dogs, not men. If I had invited a drunken fop, you'd have met him hat in hand (no, no, you needn't take it off to me now; it's too late). But a

vos I to

thing to urge in extenuation of your disgracefu

me, sir," said the little h

I say I have a seat in Mr. da Costa's b

asseh, with a touch of scorn, "I have no more

d them into the corridor.

t, please?" he

h. "Which box should it be

rged the poor humorist deprecatingly, "t

back to your post, sir-I'll find the box myself-Heaven send you wisdom-go back,

h stalked into the empty box, followed by Yankelé, whose mouth was a grin and whose eye a twinkle. As the Spaniard to

applause had reference to the new-comer, whose head appeared to be that of a foreigner of distinction, joined in it. The contagion spread, and

BO

the Ghetto Theatre, and the Sabbath was not a sufficient deterrent to a lax generation. The audiences-mainly German and Poles-came to the little unfashionable playhou

very pink of fashion, in a spangled robe of India muslin, with a diamond

eminine voice from the pit, w

hot and red. She had got on in the world,

and mine, you must taste a piece of my fried fish." And

ls, representing the discomfiture of the wicked Haman and the triumph of Queen Esther (a r?le he had once played himself, in his mother's old clothes), was delighted with the thrills and

e night glori

ly an enjoyable performance," Manasse

Yankelé ventured timidly,

heir duty lies at home. As it is written

dey vould enjo

nt here to enj

face. "Ve be sent here to obey de Law of Moses.

w s

-five-yet I

ou had plent

gave gett (divorce) for barrenness.

write? It's

it to be y

Do you begin that

ire your daughter for a vife

" said Manasse

a Sephardi!" said Yankel

now," said da

"Is dere no vay for me to be converted to Spanish Judais

urs-it is a question of blood. You cannot change you

f you day and night-and now, ven I ask you to be my fader-in-law, you say it cannot be. It is like a knife in de heart! Tink how pr

e been compelled to refuse,"

lucky persons)?" quoted Yankelé, with a sob. "

u-more sorry than

ew from Jew, dat it should prevent me becoming de son-in-law of de only man I have ever loved? Say not so. Let me ask you a

I only say if-not only would I not keep yo

suppo

not able to

d you dat?" cried

first befriended you, you t

chnorrer. But now I sp

seh, instantly appreci

l you I can schnorr en

a Costa the father or da C

ctre had ceased to thrill and the heroine to touch. His mind was busy with feverish calculations of income, scraping together every penny he could

ay made me forget it was de Sabbath." And he pursued hi

he two beggars walked ou

hundred and fifty pounds"-he paused to acknowledge the farewell salutat

nasseh, in respec

it all up. Ten are d

with ten trials our father Abraham was tried; ten miracles were wrought for our fathers in Egypt and ten at the Red Sea; and ten things were cre

Synagogue-eight pounds. Vonce a ve

r Synagogue allo

stfully. "Did I not say

ly makes six

for Passover cakes and groceries. Den

sudden scruple. "Ought I to listen

id my marriage-vich is a Commandme

en if you can prove you can schnorr enough to

law? Anyhow, you vill find me a fader-in-law," he added hast

on the Sabbath," said Manasseh evasively

gogue-knocking. I hav

e! I cannot p

? It is

ogue-knocking is

or

ersons, and rouse them for morning service, isn't work, then the Christian bell-ri

orrers be Syna

ut I call it debasing. What! To assist at the services for a fee! To worship one's Maker fo

you vould make out dat de minister vorks? or de preacher? Vy, I

ounds! As m

ether ten friends for de services, so I make von. How can you call that vork? It is friendship. And the more dey pay me de m

a peripatetic Schnorrer, who went about the Ghetto rattling a pyx-a copper money-box with a handle and

dead

rrer would reply, and the enquirer would piously put something into the "byx," as it was ca

vork?" concluded Yanke

do. What do

schnorred half-a-crown a veek) said he was tired of my coming and getting it e

He only deducted ten shillings

he still goes on giving me de half-crown a veek. Some of dese charitable persons are terribly mean. But vat I vant to

he lectures of the president of the congregation inculcating work, and at last he actually invested the savings of years in jewellery, and went round trying to peddle it. The presidents all bought something to encourage him (though they beat down the price so that there was no profit in it), and they all expressed their pleasure at his working for his living, and showing a manly independence. 'But I schnorr also,' he reminded them, holding out his hand when they

-broker yourself," sai

eh angrily, "That is not

ied Yankelé, hoping to divert his att

t for the present he had merely outraged the feelings of his fellow Schnorrers by budding out in a direction so rare as to suggest preliminary baptism. He stood now playing antic and sleight-of-hand tricks-surrounded by a crowd

ean there is profaning the Holy Day. Come away! A Schnorrer is far more certain of The-World-To-Come. N

fits all de same,"

is by its very nature unreliable. At any moment trade may be slack. People may become less pi

gues spring up,

asm," retorted Manasseh. "The membe

e. "At first," he admitted, "b

as it is written, 'He humbleth the proud.' But the Schnorrer is always secure. Whoever falls, there are always enough left to look after him. If you were a father, Yankelé, you would unders

ve shillin

all

d half-crowns. Vy in Houndsditch alone, I

Population shifts. G

tta's business. I have it all written down at

ct with the very people to whom you give the good deeds, being replaced by lifeless circulars. One owes it to one's position in life to afford the wealthy classes the opportunity of charity warm from the heart; they should not be neglected and driven in their turn to write cheques in cold blood, losing all that human sympathy which comes from pe

money vork," said Yankelé, with a touc

n return. And there's more friendship in such a call, Yanke

g. "Den p'raps you strike

me! What

stonished. "Ven a man has Year-Tim

f one of his family? We Sephardim call that 'making years'! But

ders on de Continent, and kept many Year-Times out of de country. But in a few years many faders and moders must die off here, and every parent leaves two or tree sons to have Year-

iniquity to speculate in the mis

e vorld is so created. Did you not quote, 'Charity delivers from d

Charity is put last-it is the climax-the greatest thing on earth. And the Schnorrer is the greatest man on earth; for it stands in the

ce when Manasseh became magnificent and dithyrambic. "Vy, dere is Greenbaum, whose

Greenbaum on 'Change, who was

on, he cried, "Good Sabbath, Mr. Greenbaum; I v

ou say so," said the son,

ingly. "Your fader vas a gre

A GREAT AND GOOD

away to Baruch the glaz

have noting but de clothes I stand in, and dey don't

winter, and he has never got straight yet. A child of his died, and, unhappily, just when the

rk was uncertain?

Palm-branch on Tabernacles to be shaken by de voomans who cannot attend Synagogue, and

small to deserve di

ing of de Law, and dere is about four pounds ten a year from de sale of clothes given to me. Den I have a lot o' meals given me-dis, I have reckoned, is as good as seven pounds

ted Manasseh. "I have myself lingered about 'Change Alley or Sampson's Coffee House just when the job

in mistake for shillings, to see vat dey'll do. De fools hurry off, or move slowly avay, as if not noticing, or put it quickly in de pocket. But dose who have visdom

atiently, "you haven't made out

l. "Not if you cut

nly comes to a hundred and forty

elé, staggered. "How

ddition?" responded Manasseh stern

s.

sion, with Passo

gue-knock

ct Visiti

tion-man and P

r-Time

ch and Trump

presents,

of Cloth

nt of Free

ea, the unexp

___

￡143

ct and consternation by da Costa's marvellous memory and arithmetical genius. But he rallied

would not bring you four pounds m

ess quickly. "For ven I take your daughter off your hands you vill be

w that I know how well off you are I sha

s a private philantropist vat I have told de marriage-broker, de fader-in-law and de fellow

d also have free meals fr

t even so I can never give you such good meals as yo

thoughtfully. "But you have st

erceptible pause, "You do not allow for vat I save by my piety. I fast t

ve children," re

rugged his

m He vill provide for dem. You must not forget, too, dat mid you

ainly," said Manasseh, with his grandest manner; "but then

n I marry her

w s

world! And schnorred her from a king of Schnorrers, too!! And I sha