PERMISSION

eck the mes

wind, waiting. Those three words she'd sent "I see you" echoed every

ng plant in the corner I usually ignored. But nothing felt normal anymore. There was a thread pu

im glancing at me more than once, like he was studying me. Not as a wife. Not even as the woman

er, he fin

u read i

't lie

I've read it

asleep, or pretended to. Then I o

sounded different in my voice. Softer. Needier. Like a par

eply and hovered over the

l me wha

box, quiet and pulsing. I hit se

wer right away. I didn't e

she

ne who's been good for too long. I see someone achi

k, and I set the phone down before I c

ing q

in

e

t thudding beneath my ribs lik

ilence between us wasn't uncomfortable, just watchful. We

rules,"

blink. "

nightstand. The one I used for grocery lists and thin

first one

o na

o fa

act outsid

er and tapped t

ad

gs unless we

us can end it

honesty.

d. "Add

ed up.

. "We don't li

d. "Even i

ially

rot

ing to o

l closet, of all things. Our hands were full of old scarves and winter coats neithe

her to know y

ed over a gray scarf I

aid honestly. "Does

d. "It makes

side the door. My legs felt too light,

seeing me the way I don't

her that,

d. "What if sh

me, watching me with the kind of pat

wasn't mea

up at h

thing anymore. You asked. I said yes.

hed. "And if i

ady has,

used at the tips, rough from years of playing guitar even though he

," he said. "But only if

I wrote to

ch. That you'll see what I t

ame a few m

you. Some things are meant to be seen. Espe

oat ti

t aloud

linch. He j

sk her to tell u

sita

wai

ed it

at do y

lower this time.

ot because I take it away from her-but because she won't want to. I want her voice raw with want. I want him to

He read it in silence, then p

ice wa

ot just

said. "S

ready f

answer ri

new the

es

ror. I let the robe fall open. I looked at myself the wa

int

pur

arbone. My waist. The

to a

to re

was

ore

e the

me something