Simon Dale

d who was bowed out as I went in, the maid who bridled and glanced and laughed-they are all there in my memory, but blurred, confused, beyond clear recall. Yet all th

ed itself again before my unwilling eyes, I can scarcely tell whence and how at the last, the change came. I think that the pomp itself, the lord and the lackeys, the fine house, and all her state struck as it were cold at my heart, dooming to failure the mad appeal which they could not smother. But there was more; for all these might have been, and yet not reached or infected her soul. But when I spoke to her in words that had for me a sweetness so potent as to win me from all hesitation and make

kindly, and be no more amazed that she refused at last. Yet this sad wisdom that sits well on age I do not love in youth. I was a fool; but if to hold that good shal

ee me, for she started as though in surprise whe

eated me very rudely-why, yes, with great unkindness-last time we met. But I wouldn't have you think me resentful. Old friends must forgive one another, mustn'

lly at her, now I sp

your neck," said I, po

yet softly, pulling her dress away to let me

wouldn't you be grieved

laughed, "for I paid the

e of a gem," said I,

ning over me; for I had seated myself i

a very pebble, a

imon, cruel Simon! But a pretty brigh

me-then-long ago, when you came to Ha

little, as though for a single moment some unfamiliar shame

said I again, and I le

d Simon, do y

e moved away pet

eness God's only? Will none of you forgive for yourselves

up and ca

"Ay, I'll forgive. Don't talk of

s grew wide in wonder,

," s

Simon, where is Madame your mother, where my good

akes delight and virtue one." I caught a hand to my lips and kissed it many times. "No sin comes but by desire," said I, p

was strange talk to her; ye

, whither? We are no more i

cried. "Alone in the

would have, or, understanding, could n

e London and go with

with your

away with a jerk,

ad yourself also, sweetheart. If

I leave the Court? And you?-You

I've found it?" And a

rer to me; I felt her finge

ydaria well. But Cydaria, such as she was, even Cydaria is gone. A

you didn't c

tterness. "For folly it is, deep and black. I am not-nay, was I eve

e love of a man you love. Save for that, w

e laugh. "And of that few-I am not one. Nay,

swear

as a friend, a

a dea

ertain pleasant f

'll

N

day neither you n

nt of reasons." Her laugh burst ou

e me

n one. I don

't tak

what

be what I wo

Court. To serve the Duk

for that? Are

t go. See now, I'll show

e the

ich

y ri

u guess who s

g only while yo

urse." Then came defiance. "I wouldn't change it. Didn't

o you? What's it to a

know what I love-the stir, and the frowns of great ladies, and the cour

d ever so little

h sparkling eyes; sh

keep it, Simon, keep it for your wife. There's many a maid would gladly take the ti

call it?), was still in me, hot and surging. Hope was yet alive, for she had shown me tenderness, and once it had seemed as though a passing shadow of remorse had shot across

ou for better t

elf," I cried, and I sought t

st let me go. Nay, you must. So! Sit

inst me, although quite close. She looked me

now?" she asked wi

d, but made no

I met you in the Lane, that I brought you here to-day. I didn't guess your folly. I've lived with player

greater than any sorrow I've had

she would fain have escaped. She laughed a little, but grew grave again, saying, "I don't know why I laughed,"

with me, Simon?" s

I answered,

, nor talk of deat

you say calml

amusement deep-hidden in her mind. Then she drew herself up, and a strange and most pitiful pride appeared on he

u," said I; my voice ca

e, I know you will,"

said I. "What is i

that she should not have, but prizes above all her trifles;

oks at me as though I were the street-dirt under her feet. But they shall see! Ay, they shall see that I can match them!" She sprang to her feet

at her spa

you're proud to serve? Who is he, I s

nds over my eyes and fell back heavily in my chair, like a sick man or a drunken. For no

say. "You see that I can't come. No, n

t may be, as the thing which gave it birth. Nell's laughter died away, and she was silent. Presently I felt a hand rest on my hands as though seeking to convey sympathy in a grief but half-understood. I shrank away, moving my hands till hers no longer touched them. There are little acts, small matters often, on which remorse attends while life lasts. Even no

ut the hand before her; there

It is as it was, isn't it?" She put it close by my hand, waiting for me to take it, but

se legs are reluctant to resume their load. She stood quit

d. "Indeed it's nothing; o

as drawn to her face; I saw her lips pouting and her cheek flushed, the brightness of her eyes grew clouded. She loved me enough to b

now!" she cried, break

said I. "For in truth I

pered, and now with a touch of shame;

od-bye, Cydaria," and again I kissed her hand. She dr

hadn't t

rprise. I moved on my way, the only way my feet could tread. But she darted

e denied though it came timidly, afraid for its welcome

derstand why I was aghast; extravagant despair, all in the style of a vanquished rival, would have been easy for her to

in then?" she in

ly, and cruelly wit

care to measure, for a prudish virtue that for good or evil was not mine, and for a narrowness of which my reas

g now as if she might fall to weeping. But at the instant the door opened and the saucy maid who had ushered me

rning to me, she added hastily:

er than to be

anger seemed to rise again, while the serving-girl stared back astonished as she passed out. But if she went to stay the King's coming, she was

whose society you are

enough of me already, and that he was not well pleased to stumble on me again an

said she, throwing

. "But, if I may ask without pre

f us, the King and Simon

nvita

wed the King. "I'm before my time

she. "But as you heard, S

t, I pray," said

. He's not

utstayed

r. He came to ask something of me, but ma

ld me less. I'm of a mighty curious disposition.

jesty's permission

s lady to grant or to refuse. In this

to the side of the Ki

ey are, Mr Dale would have ask

owed. Then the

than they are, Mr Dal

an they are, I might well h

'm very sure, a gentleman of spirit and honour, althoug

e, Mr Dale would h

"to quarrel with his resolve, al

re of me than l

rd, madame, to gra

aughed in amusement, but whether at

ard," said she. "It

ed no more. For if it be hard to grant him this little thing, it m

he King she came and stood before me, raising her e

leave you, m

o whi

n't k

d," interposed the King. "A

Nell. "But what d

may be, does Mr Dale yet. But he'll learn, and so

te to learn it

laughed

ing out her hand as though s

ange little laugh that seemed devoid of mirth, and to

us with attentive eyes a

han I meant, reluctant to take last leave of old friends. Then I kissed her hand and bowed ve

er months or years perceive ourselves in a second older by all that period. We are jogged by the elbow, roused ruthlessly and curtly bidden to look and see how we are changed, and wonder, weep, or smile as may seem best to us in face of the metamorphosis. A moment of such awakening came to me now; I seemed a man different from him who had, no great number of minutes before, hastened to the house, inspired by an insane hope,

mood with unfailing aptness, twisted into disappointment or disgust. She leant out looking down on me; now behind her shoulder I saw the King's black face, half-hidden by the hangings of the window. She glanced at the first flower, then at the second, held up both her hands for a moment, turned for an instant with a coquettish smile towards the swarthy face behind, then handed the first flower with a laugh into a hand that was

h, of pity, kindness, and regret: and the laugh that she uttered in giving the fresh bloom to the King had seemed pure derision. It was my love, not hers, that found

ave shewn, was I, Simon the young, brought