The Adventures of Roderick Random

to the Board, they grant me a letter to the Surgeons at the Hall-am informed of the beau's name and character-find him-he makes me his confidant

ny of whom made no better appearance than myself. I consulted the physiognomy of each, and at last made up to one whose countenance I liked, and asked, if he could instruct me in the form of the letter which was to be sent to the Board to obtain an order for examination? He answered me in broad Scotch, that he would show me the copy of what he had writ for himself, by direction of another w

Mr. Jackson (for that was the name of the person who had broke his appointment), I sought him there to no purpose, and on our way towards the other end of the town imparted to my companion his behaviour towards me; upon which he gave me to understand, that he was no stranger to the name of Bean Jackson (so he was called at the Navy Office), although he did not know him personally; that he had the character of a goo

credit was very low, because his funds would do little more than pay what he had already received, this moderate interest included. After the stranger (whose name was Thompson) had entertained me with this account of Jackson, he informed me that he himself had passed for third mate of a third-rate, about four months ago; since which time he had constantly attended at the Navy Office, in hope of a warrant, having been assured from the beginning, both by a Scotch member, and one of the commissioners to whom the member recommended him, that he should be put into the first vacancy;

done. What signifies all earthly riches and honour, if one enjoys not content? and, hereafter, there is no respect of persons. Better be a poor honest barber with a good conscience, and time to repent of my sins upon my death-bed, than be cut off (God bless us!) by a musket-shot, as it were in the very flower of one's age, in the pursuit of riches and fame. What signify riches, my dear friend? do they not make unto themselves wings and fly away? as the wise man saith. I could also mention many other sayings in contempt of riches, both from the Bible and other good books; but I know you are not very fond of those things, I shall only assure you, that if you take on to be a soldier, I will do the same; and then if we should both be slain, you will not only have your own blood to answer for, but mine also: and peradventure the lives of all those whom we shall kill in battle. Therefore I pray you, consider whether you will sit down contented with small things and share the fruits of my industry in peace, till Providence shall send better tidings; or, by your despair, plunge both our souls and bodies into everlasting perdition, which God of his infinite mercy forbid!" I could not help smiling at this harangue, which was delivered with great earnestness, the tears standing in his eyes all the time, and promised to do nothing

ot less true for all that-a five thousand pounder, I'll assure you, besides expectations. For my own part, devil take me if I know what any woman can see engaging about me-but a whim, you know-and then one would not balk one's good fortune. You saw that footman who dined with us-he's one of the honestest fellows that ever wore livery. You must know it was by his means I was introduced to her, for he made me first acquainted with her woman, who is his mistress-ay, many a crown has he and his sweetheart had of my money-but what of

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retire to the country at once?" I gave my opinion without hesitation, that he could not do better than buy an estate and improve; especially since he had already seen so much of the world. Then I launched out into the praises of a country life, as described by the poets whose works I had read. He seemed to relish my advice, but withal told me, that although he had seen a great deal of the world both at land and sea, having cruised three whole months in the Channel, yet he should not be satisfied until he had visited France, which he proposed to do before he should settle; and to carry his wife along with him. I had nothing to object to his proposal; and asked how soon he hoped to be happy. "As to that," he replied, "nothing obstructs my hap

at kind have you got?" I answered, "Six ruffled, and six plain." At which he testified great surprise, and declared that no gentleman ought to have more than four. "How many d'ye think I have got?" continued he; "but this and another, as I hope to be saved! and I dare say we shall be able to raise a good sum out of your superfluity: let me see-let me see-each of these shirts is worth sixteen shillings at a moderate computation-now, suppose we pawn them for half-price-eight times eight is sixty-four, that's three pounds four; that will do-gi

ut not willing, out of a piece of false delicacy, to neglect the only opportunity I should perhaps ever have, I ventured into a pawnbroker's shop, where I demanded two guineas on the pledge, in the name of Thomas Williams. "Two guineas!" said the pawnbroker, looking at the hanger; "this piece of goods has been here several times before for thirty shillings: however, since I believe the gentleman to whom it belongs will redeem it, he shall have what he wants; and accordingly he paid me the money, which I carried to the house where I had left Jackson; and, calling for change, counted out to him seven and thirty shillings, reserving the other five for myself." After looking at the money some time, he

man at his own house, there was a young lady in the room, and she threw so many sheep's eyes at a certain person whom I shall not name, that my heart went knock, knock, knock, like a fulling mill, and my hand sh-sh-shook so much that I sliced a piece of skin off the gentleman's nose; whereby he uttered a deadly oath, and was going to horsewhip me, when she prevented him, and made my peace. Is not a journeyman barber as good as a journeyman baker? The only difference is, the baker uses flour for the belly, and the barber rises it for the head: and as the head is a more noble member than the belly, so is a barber more noble than a baker-for what's the bell