icon 0
icon TOP UP
rightIcon
icon Reading History
rightIcon
icon Log out
rightIcon
icon Get the APP
rightIcon

To-morrow?

Chapter 3 No.3

Word Count: 6794    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

ortable rooms on the second floor, opening into each other, well furnished and

utside, and on this in the evening we used to stand and smoke and flick paper balls on to the heads of the grisettes and the bonnes passing far underneath. On the ground floor

ad been as high principled, as moral, and as sober as Howard was the reverse of all these. Our mode of life was very different, as naturally it would be, since I had come with a predetermination to do nothing but work, and he with an equally strong one to idle his days away in the most enjoyable manner he could invent. For myself, I was fairly content with the prospect before me. Work I was accustomed to, and it was easy. A new idea for a manuscript had beg

our writing or not writing be of importance? Do you think I shall ever relinquish Lucia? I

r had answered gr

ear Victor, see

rind my teeth and then lau

t permit a le

N

brief authority!" I thought,

good-I

will not write, nor hear from her, dir

nly you

matter wa

her's eyes, and she elevated her eyebr

ference," she murmur

erself that I wanted-nothing less. It gives me very little pleasure to read a lette

e associations. To have put my hand round Lucia's living throat; yes, that would have been a keen delight, but I was not dead set on

iterary papers in its French dress, and returned to its original title. He came to me suddenly one evening with a contem

irst-class? Here's a critique on my vers

ing over my shoulder and resting his knee on the arm

an!" I said. "Now you realise, don't you

t's true, I ought to make some

English, to one of the French publishing firms, and there ensued a blank of three weeks. At the end of that time I received a peremptory note inviting me to call at their office. When I presented myself I was shown into a bare, square room, where an august

ak French,

e conversation the

a talent, a talent that he would say was-colossal. At the same time, these works were all too English in tone to catch the t

hat; remembering that in England I had been

some of the characters, at least, be French, and also allow himself a little greater latitude, then he should be delighted to put

ind that, with success-dear success-in view. I closed with his proposition at once, and aft

tual grooves, our life ran on quietly from da

imes on and sometimes off it, and kept me in dread of a total smash. The Champs Elysees were full of the late afternoon sunlight, and we sauntered slowly, criticis

e string of vehicles moving in the centre of the sunny road, we noticed one small, black brougham going the same way as ourselves, that seemed conspicuous by being closed amongst the rest of the open victorias. Sud

abruptly. The door of the brougham was pushed open and a woman got out. Such a figure it was that outlined itself in the sunny light, standing on the white trotto

Howard. "Whom is she

then, to our astonishment, she turned fully

e this evening, Monsieur? The

liquid and gleaming, behind a veil of black lashes; the smooth firm nose, with its raised and tremulous nostril; the oval of eit

ake in the situation; and there was something in her words and tone of confidence,

ine with my friends,

my tone and eyes as I looked down on her, for her

ed-a lovely smile on such a mouth. Howard stood in silence,

d, satirically; "but I have

d bro

to me?" he said, eagerly, and she

Parisian shrug; and then she looked at me again with a look that one would say w

not such as

id for me, as it were, by my

on at all, to embarrass you," I s

as wel

s not at al

is hand on her arm, with a glance that matched her own. She seemed pretty

e over her shoulder at me, disa

ollowed instantly,

"Is it worth it, Howard? You may regret

hed himself

fellow to refuse a jolly good

they were gone, whirling up the Champs Elysees, leaving me standing on the kerb looking

ellow had told me this tale, I s

nd I must have stood there many seconds in confused thought,

e with the patience of a philosopher, and catching the

and went on up

t wish to have done otherwise. I knew I should say again exa

on hand," I told myself, as the arched

en life seemed all

pon my nerves. I went back to the hotel by a qu

e line of trees that edge the Paris kerb, when a fiacre drew up at my very elbow, and Howard got out. He did not see me for a minute, engaged with

he said, turning back. "I d

of light, all across the pavement to where we were sitting, from the windows and open glass doors of the cafe. He looked well and uncommonly jolly; a man who

y seedy," he sai

ow have we sped in this con

, she's got a jolly place!" he said, when the garcon, and eventually the drink, had been captured. "Nice

dinner?" I ask

gone to Tunis

ack to-day,

to-mo

it

She'd have satisfied you! Lovely

d not

r stopping us like that?"

. "I should not have believed it if it

n awfully nice woman, and very clever. But aren't these Parisiennes que

rdl

as you she wanted, not me. Why didn't you g

aug

ther a good thing I have met her, it will urge me to do more-don't lo

o see her again,

, oh

d next visits Tu

when he's here. She is going

s

f course. It's a nuisance being hampe

he general, and back again, until the waiters came and cleared the chairs off the pavement and

ore and more taken up in the stream of amusement he had entered. He wrote very little. A couple of lines that had occurred to him perhaps at the theatre, an

retted it; and this life that was being wasted, poured out in uselessness, within my sight oppressed me. I

te, for his talent. I used to insist on his hearing me read sometimes those

ou are their parent, Howard! Think! Any man could lead the life

at me suspicious

te that? I don't th

a c

to give every day and night in the week, if he liked

"if I were dying, how those days and nights

building of such

m when they are built? They

esponsibility on me, for he must have trodden a straighter road, and perhaps he would have worked more if he had had less money. And the money-his superfluous cash-came generally from me. His own allowance was small; just enough to keep him and no more. Gifts, under the name of loans, from me supplied all extras, and filled all deficiencies and gaps. What could I

our books or anything?" he asked me one evening as we went upstairs aft

this evening. Such enjoyment as there is I get it, and there's an end of it, and no worry about it. As for you, you are all worry; and even gra

our rooms by this time, and I f

ck his dress shoes to put them on in min

st what I do. I haven't a scrap of a tie to life. I don't think there will be anything better in it than what I have had already. I'd go to-morrow. But you, you would not like it a bit, and you can't deny it. You have got

and now sat back in his chair, one leg crossed

f you have sat at the table, hungering all the time and repressing yourself, then, when the sudden call comes, and you must rise and leave it for ever, think what a misery and bitterness to be dragged away from the brilli

felt ill and dispirited

ellow take it as a guide through life; if he really acts up to it, it ensures his happiness. Its philosophy beats all the religions hollow. 'Take the day.' 'Put no trust in to-morrow.' 'Seek not to know the future; whatever it is, b

ire had gone out from neglect; the window stood open and the lace curtains waved in the damp night wind. Howard stalked across the room and banged the glass doors

, throw it into the grate and you'll soon

nd flung them down on the table. One

picking it up, and noticing the great blu

nt. It was a great bore his coming in just now, disturbing me. I had a difficult thing to express, and I was just pursuing the tail end of an idea I could not quite grasp. My pen hovered uncertainly over the paper. I could not exactly give words to the impression in my brain, and the

ay,

el

at kissing song

odd

brasse moi, chumph! chumph!-and then the orchestra exactly imitates

it isn

le

cto

ha

was there

O

u know

heard

le

ic

es

ow what Fa

ourse

ink it a n

articu

than Grille d'Egout

." "How many frills do you th

on't kno

hem. Her figure is not

ted; "there's a good fellow, I'

ng up to saunter round the room, "that's a jolly good song-E

went wrong. Ballet dancers seemed standing in the aisle where nuns should have bee

aimed Howard

said simp

he said, drawing up bot

crossed his legs, and proceeded to give me an account of his experiences. I suppose

e with me for inter

to him more than I meant. Any way, the next afternoon he came home early to dine with me, and afterwards, when I was speaking of

aid, and he thrust suddenly into m

ny way the grate-or torn it up. But I am not fond of throwing other, people's things into the fire, nor of tearing them up, simply because they offend my own views. He

hing! Where did

er to-night after the last 'turn,'" replied Howard, rolling a

ly?" I sa

oloured up!" said Howard wit

the portrait, dashed, whirling headlong over each other, through my bra

ward remarked affectionately, setti

r own way,"

not?-an evident fact. The blue slime in a bl

g to the work in the way you do. Come along! Where's the harm? Lucia will never know. I won't split. God's in heaven and

s si

't know,"

n of Lucia's knowin

? You can't be really a quiet fellow or you wouldn't write things the English won't have. You s

t to dress, and I sat down at the writing-table, absently sketching women's heads on my blotting paper. Should I go with him or not? I felt tired of writing, tire

upposing on coming out of this house I came face

inclination were over, have a s

ly mean to spend my

poiling a record for the s

n I looked up. He was dressed to the Enth, and as I glanced at his good-looking, intelligent face, I thought how incongruous it seeme

to wo

s of peace and open in times of war. Now was war, and I gazed at the picture within for encouragement. There was equal sinuous, supple beauty in this form as in that outline on the Paris card, that lay, perhaps, in the pocket of every flaneur on the boulevards. I looked at the smooth, perfect shoulders, and those soft arms that had never yet been drawn round a lover's neck; at the extreme pride and dignity that lay in every line of the form that had never been touched by a rough hand. It swept from me in one gust the thoughts and tendencies struggling to rise. It brought back all the old revolt from the lowest, all the old admiration fo

the wall, a flick that sent it horizontal on the marble, an

ooked up, then back on the page, decided I need not add another word, flung down my pen, leaned back in my chair, and proceeded to light up

ibly I should have missed it." Just then I heard a blundering, uncerta

mil

him to find the lock,

eated word reached me within. At last, in sheer pity, I got up and opened the door from the inside. Howard came unsteadily over the threshold, and half blundered against me. His face was deadly pal

ourself?

on his feet, but fair

t," he murmured, pressing his hand h

s little mor

his wea

on. He was the representative of those who sacrifice to-morrow for to-day. I, of those who sacrifice to-day for to-morrow. And I wondered, as I smoked on with his collapsed figure before me, which was the greater fool. "Do neither" is the cry. "Take the gifts of to-day without robbing to-morrow." Estima

rink?" I asked,

and a gesture of his hand and first finger

No wonder you'r

it!" he only

it off now," I said, getting up wi

c, you should h

ling them on a console. I wanted to go and get my own breakfast, but the look of Howard's face, as

you anythin

without opening his eyes, moving h

answered, bending over

arm through mine. There was a pause. He seemed unable to make a farther mo

I said, after a minute, and he s

after protracted pauses, it was effected, and he fell back upon the pillows-face and lips one

you some coffee," I s

nd fixed upon me with a

red, clutching my wrist with his da

d. I shan't be two seconds," I answered,

h, Vic, for Go

h. He looked at me as if he dared look nowhere else. Some horror seemed pressing up

I'm not going," I

eemed satisfied. I sat down on a chair at the bedside and waited. The sun po

on a couple of paper volumes. My own head was aching violently now, and after a time the woman's figure on

to try and withdraw my stiffening arm without rousing him, but at t

nt forward gradually, and at last my head sank down

Claim Your Bonus at the APP

Open