Mr. Vain

er’s

ot about my stupid feelings. I’m taking notes on on

n’t crazy before, I sure as hell will be. Don’t

she’s developing. I must admit, she’s not your typical therapist, but she seems to care. Doc

o love yourself before you love someone else. Then when you tak

elings, I keep calling her Dr. Hottie because it pisses her off. I tried to kiss her earlier, and she punched me in the

HH

ALEXA

elf now. “Is someth

nake I put in their closet. I named it F

seriously nothing to do around here. You can only go to a club so many times before

my bedroom door looking li

ee! He’s really

dy to strangle me. My dad has one fear, and that’s snakes. Finding a

l are you na

think, you l

bra and a skirt. I forgot she was a belly da

c f

lf; Mom lo

alf-dressed? Put so

sexy time.” Mom’s cuddling the snake that’s

the day?” I aske

e could grab me. No one wan

t away. This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. My mom is laughing hysteric

ilder up on my dresser screaming like a little girl. My

ting this snake a

sly grossed out. “OH GOD, NO

d her, and she walks o

until we find him an aquarium to live in. You

mps down from the dresser and takes off aft

Stop making me see Dr. Hottie a

you, five?

ut some cl

d if it kills me. You have bee

king about my poor innocent mo

tes ago, she was

Shut you

man. Dragon lady

rated. I can’t believe he does that stuff to my wonderful moth

got the birds, and the bees talk from my mother. It traumatized me for life. No kid should have to see or hear about what intercourse is from their mother. Sadly, I’ve witnessed it more times tha

r dinner. We will have a l

hy? He st

’s right. “Yeah, Mom.

and not with your father’s credit cards. We are going by the ATM and you’r

you having sex

inked at my d

) Gr

*

ons

me swanky restaurant to make my wife happy. I

l arrest me for the murder of that brat. My son is a nuisance. I don’t c

tonight too. Maybe I can get

ou, but I think it’s time yo

is a God. I hav

’s time he does something more with his day than play Xbox and hang out

hy am I bei

o I have to work

you brought home walked into our bedroom wearing only a thong. She asked your father and me to have a threesome. That’s not o

at’s nasty! With my parents?

ng and blocking the chick’s number from his ph

“Beyond your belief, your mother

n Alive list for three years running. Not to too

blue eyes, and fit. He uses it to his advantage by pretending to be me to get in places. He thinks I don’t know, but I get a call

you have a job. If you are going through with this ridiculous

om. I’m not getting stuck de

way.

roduction and work with the actors. He might learn something. He

that, there is no way

in

nder rolle

orrow morning. I’ll move your therapy

up punished for my

s s