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Not what you expected of me

Not what you expected of me

Janis Ross

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Have you ever pretended to be someone you're not just to please others? Almost as if you were living a lie or wearing a mask instead of showing off who you truly are? Feeling as if your forced to live a lie? You feel as if you must be on point and perfect every second of the day. Nakia's mom drove her to think that unless she was perfect no one would ever love her, but no one is perfect. We are flawed. Because of this Nakia has learned how to be strong and she knows what she wants now by first learning just who she is. Don't ever let someone's negative opinion of you become your reality.

Chapter 1 Prologue

Prologue

Nakia was a proud black woman. She is a successful woman in a male dominated field. She drives a brand-new car and has a big fancy house that she bought herself. No one else helped build her up and brought her to the place she is today. She's always looking flawless and always must be on point because she feels that she is her own brand and must look good to earn respect. Always had her hair and nails done. Nakia was always the picture of perfection. Hell, she even went as far as to never wear the same outfit more then twice. Everything had to be brand new for her.

Her clothes always had to be the newest trends and the best brands. She had to have the best of everything including men. She always had her hair straightened never letting her real hair be seen. She would even set an alarm to wake up two hours before her man just to make sure she looked perfect. He has never seen her looking a mess or truly being natural. No one has ever seen her looking natural. Would her man even want her if he knew what she looked like not being perfect.

Nakia's mother always told her that she was her own personal promoter, so she always needed to look her best. Her mama would never let herself or her child look a hot mess. She instilled that in Nakia from day one, and she dared go against her mama. Her mama had her best interest and only helped Nakia to look her best or so she thought. Now she wasn't so sure if what her mama taught her was right or the way she should live her life.

When Nakia turned thirty she had what some would call a mid-life crisis and decided to change everything. It's as if he finally woke up and decided to live her life for herself and to hell with pleasing everyone else all the time. Half the time they weren't pleased no matter how much you succeeded. Someone always has an issue with you no matter what you do. Nakia just needed to realize that you can't make everyone healthy.

She took a long look in the mirror and realized she just needed to feel real for a change. She took out her long weave and started to cut her real hair into a cute short style and dyed it red something she always wanted to do but her mother said wasn't proper. She took all her fancy designer clothes and put them in trash bags so she could donate them. She even donated those high heels that no matter how much she wore them they still killed your feet. She stopped being fake and Just decided to be Nakia.

She has been the woman her mother has pushed her into being, the temptress men desired her to be, the strong take charge businesswoman her boss demanded from her. Never once has she been the person she wanted to be. She questions if she honestly knows who that person even is. She has put on so many masks for so many people that she doesn't even know who she is anymore.

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can get up dust yourself off and truly grow. Through all of this Nakia learns to be her best self. She learns to love herself and knows that others will follow. She starts to heal wounds she didn't even realize she had and strengthens her bond with her family and friends. You just have to be true to yourself then and only then can you ever truly be happy and live your best life.

They say there is two sides to every story and this book is no different. You will get to meet Nakia a beautiful plus-sized black woman that finally finds out just who she is, and through that becomes a strong woman that loves who she has become. You'll also meet her mother Nola and hear how she grew up. You'll get to hear why she thinks the way she does and see her change thanks to her amazing daughter and the courage she showed her. It's one hell of a journey of love, and forgiveness that bounds two strong women together and helps everyone to heal.

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