I Love You, Perrine

The song ‘Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran’ started playing. Nice song for this wedding.

In the middle of the music, I decided to go inside the church. The interior design of the church was even more beautiful because of the red carpet, colourful flowers, and of course because of the beautiful and handsome bridesmaids.

Exactly four years ago when met each other here. At that moment I knew that he’s the one. The first touch of my skin on his skin, I felt different from him. I just saw him for the first time, I already fall for him. I think it’s a love at first sight.

I still remember how our eyes accidentally met, and I felt then I would melt in about three seconds when he looked at me and when he smiled my heart beat faster. Ever since I saw him he never left in my mind.

“Do you take him to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?”

“Yes, I do.”

Is it really possible? To suddenly fall in love to someone you just met for the first time? My answer is, yes. Love does many things that we do not expect.

“Do you take her to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honor her all the days of your life?”

“Yes, I do.” Tearful answer of the groom.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and hurried out of the church and answered the call of my friend, Gaira. I took a deep breath before I answered it.

“Hello, Gaira.” I tried to smile even though she couldn’t see me.

“Where are you?” Gaira ask me over the phone.

I took another deep breath to calm myself and not cry or not to crack my voice.

“W-Why?”

“Of course, We are looking forward to your return!” It's no longer Gaira, it’s Jhiezhl and I think the two of them are together now.

“Mrs. Perrine Saplala–Cariaga, where are you now?”

Mrs. Perrine Saplala–Cariaga. It’s nice to hear that my last name is already attached to the last name of the man I love.

“Give me my cell phone—Hey, Perrine! Where are you? We are waiting you here at our favorite café.” This is Gaira again.

My grip on the cell phone tightened. I am mad with myself because, I feel annoyed and angry with one of my best friends, Gaira, which I shouldn’t be. I can’t help but be angry with my friend and I want to slap her right now, but I know its not her fault.

“Maybe tomorrow. I’m a little tired.” My excuse to them.

Because right now I can’t face Gaira, and maybe I will slap her and pour out the annoyance I feel.

“The new Mrs Cariaga is tired on their honeymoon.” Jhiezhl is teasing me.

“Looks like you’ll have a baby sooner, Perrine.” Gaira was also teasing me. “Advance, congrats, Perrine.” She added.

“You are both crazy. Sorry, I have to go. Bye.” I immediately ended the call.

I quickly ran to where my car was parked. When I entered, I slapped the steering wheel to poured out all the pain I feel now also my anger at my friend Gaira, and my anger at myself.

Yes, the man I love married me, but he doesn’t have the slightest feelings for me, other than anger. He doesn’t love me. He hates me.

I took a deep breath then started the car and headed home. It was night when I got home. When I enter in our house I saw my husband in the living room holding a bottle of wine and three other bottles of wine on the glass table. He looks drunk.

I sat down next to my Husband. “You’re drunk, let’s go to our room.”

My husband looked at me. His eyes are already red also his smooth cheeks were red.

I touched the both of my husband’s cheeks, and he looked at me. “I love you.” I said with all my heart.

My husband smiled at me. Ohmygash! Does this mean that he is gradually accepting me?

“Did you know? I got drunk, so I forgot that I married the best friend of the woman I love.” He said and go up.

I took a deep breath and at the same time my tears flowed. A few minutes passed before I finally stopped crying.

When I put away the clutter, I went up to our room. When I held the door knob, it was lock. I knock a few times on our bedroom door, but my Husband still wouldn’t open it. Its looks like he was already sleeping. I just went to the other room, in our guest room.

The moment I enter in the guestroom, I immediately lay down. On the soft bed and closed my eyes.

My Husband and I just got arrange, that’s why we got married. At first, I didn’t want to get married because of the idea of the arranged marriage, but when I saw who I was going to get married, there was no vessel for the joy I felt at that time.

It’s the guy I saw in the church. He was more handsome up close. He had black hair, beautiful and thick eyebrows. Pierce his nose and smooth his face. He has a deep voice and a good smell of perfume. The man I dream of is the one I will be marrying? Is this destiny or what? I only know one. I am happy to marry the man I love.

Until we were about to get married.

Before we got married, he told me that our silly wedding would only stop if I will not go. I didn’t agree. He’s my dream man. But, he told me his reason. Reason that I almost did not attend our wedding.

He told me in my face how much he loved my friend, Gaira. He wanted to end our marriage during those times, but he could not let his parents fail him.

I was happy when my Husband told me he couldn’t afford to ruin our wedding. Because no matter what happens and for whatever reason, I will never let him go. I love him so much.

Last week is our honeymoon. Everyone knew we were very happy, what they didn’t know was my Husband left me and immediately came here. And I just came home today.

I smile.

I knew at first that my Husband will like this. I know, he will also learn to love me. Not like how he love my best friend Gaira, but he will accept me too. I hope.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I cook dinner for you.” I said to my Husband when he entered the house.

“I already ate outside.” My Husband replied coldly then he goes up.

I followed him. “Why do you smell of alcohol? Did you drink again?”

“So what?”

“Where?”

“At the bar.”

“W-Who's with you?”

“Workmates.”

“Is there a woman?” When I ask that, it was as if my tears were already forming at the corner of my eyes.

Please just simply say no.

“Of course! I have female employees in the office. Use your damn common-sense!” My husband answered irritably and slammed the door of our room.

I just went down and went straight to the kitchen. I sat down and looked at the dish I cook for my husband. Well, I think it’s better that he didn’t eat my cook for him because everything looks bad.

We’ve been married for a years, but I've never been able to eat with my husband, not even to be with him all day. He still doesn’t taste what I cook for him. No, he once drank I brewed coffee for him.

I covered the dishes on the table. I will just eat this tommorow.

I went up to our room again to pick up the dirty clothes and fix our laundry for tomorrow. I stopped fixing my Husband’s dirty clothes when I saw one of his long-sleeve polo had with red lipstick on the collar.

When he came out in the bathroom, I approached him. “What is this?” I tearfully ask.

“My blue long sleeve.” He simply answered.

“With a red lipstick?”

My Husband immediately took the long sleeve and looked at what I was referring to. “This is nothing.” He said and put on dirty clothes.

“Nothing? That’s a red lipstick! Do you have a another woman?!”

“None. Of course not.”

“What’s that red lipstick?” I couldn’t stop crying.

“I said that’s nothing. Will you stop crying like a baby?!”

“Why is it hard to believe you?”

I wiped the tears from my cheeks when the doorbell rang and then went down. Before opening the door I took a deep breath. Who is going to come to us at this time?

When I opened the door, I saw a woman whose face was unfamiliar to me.

“Hello good evening. I’m in a hurry, is your husband already here?”

“What do you need from my husband?”

The woman took a wrist watch from her bag. The wrist watch she showed me was familiar.

“He left it in my car earlier. Can you give this to your husband?”

My jaw was left in the air. This wrist watch I gave to my Husband on his last birthday and she left it to this woman?

I could no longer think correctly and I quickly caught up with the woman in front of me. I pull her long bouncy hair.

“PERRINE!” I heard my Husband shout as he came down.

I let the woman go when my husband took her away from e.

“What’s going on here?!” My husband shouted at me.

“Your wife suddenly pulled my hair, I just want to give you this watch.” The woman said and gave the wrist watch to my Husband.

“Thank you, Scarlet. Sorry about this mess. Let’s talk tomorrow.” My husband replied to the woman and she leave.

After leaving the woman, my Husband look at me.

“What was that?!” He shouted at me.

“You said you don’t have another woman? Then who’s that? And for the record she has your watch. The watch I gave to you?! Seriously?!”

“That's why you suddenly pulled her hair like that?!”

“Can I ask you something? Am I ugly?”

“Why are you asking me like that suddenly?”

“JUST answer my question.”

“No.”

“Am I not sexy? Am I a bad person? Am I not a good wife to you? Is something missing from me?! Am I not enough?!”

“N-No...”

“THEN, WHY?! Why did you not even try to love me or accept me?! Why did you cheated on me?!”

“How many times do I have to tell you that there’s no other woman, it’s only—”

“It’s only, Gaira!” I cut what will he said next. “I know my friend is the only one you love. The fact that you only love is my best friend, that’s already hurts, here.” I pointed my heart. “But, having another woman? It’s like you killing me inside. You know what? In the past three years with you? I just want to hear with you or say with me, I Love You, Perrine. But you never or try to said me that. I really don’t know why I’m still inlove with you. You did nothing to me but hurt my feelings. Did you know what I’d realized? I think my husband will never love me back or accept me. And now, I’m trying my best to forget my feelings for you, because falling in love with you was the tiring I did.”

I took my car key from the drawer and left the house. I went straight to my car and quickly got in and started the car engine. I was about to start the car when suddenly my Husband knocked on window.

“Perrine, where are you going? Open this damn door! Let’s talk! Wife!”

I didn’t listen to him and still left the house.

I took a deep breath then let out tears in my eyes.

Three years.

Reed and I were together for three years, but he did nothing to me but hurt me emotionally. Pitying, kneeling, being a good wife just so my Husband would love or accept me. But, one of them he did not pay attention.

I looked at my cell phone when my Husband called me again.

I smiled.

I love you so much, Reed Cariaga.

If I don’t get tired for loving you, I will just set you free.