The Last Dress

"I'm not going to sugarcoat things for you, Miss Mendez. You only have at least eight months to live based on your test results" My heart skipped a beat. My mom, who was trying hard not to cry, held my hand.

The doctor looked at me straightly but I can see her worries too.

I smiled at them both, telling them that it's okay.

"It's okay mum. Im fine, you don't need to be worried"

I am prepared.

I already knew this would happen to me. I know I won't live any longer in this chaotic but beautiful world.

I have cancer, some sort of malignant neoplasm of blood-forming tissues. It was discovered just last year because I noticed that I was getting a lot of bruises and I was paler as well. So I decided to have a check up, but it was a little too late.

"I am sorry to inform you that you're not getting any better. You have stage 4 acute lymphoblastic leukemia so you have to expect the worst"

The first time I heard that news, I was baffled. I felt so lost, I did not know what to do. I was feeling empty and low. Days and days passed by, all the people that I know came to support me but I shut them down. I don't want them to see me in this situation, wrecked and a mess. I don't want them to pity me, that's why I kept my distance. I ignored them.

"Vey, sweetheart let's go" I stared at my mom for a second then smiled at her again. She's really beautiful, she looks so young for her age too.

I stood up then bowed at the doctor. I also thanked her for taking care of me and guiding me in handling my condition cautiously.

The doctor then led our way out of her clinic.

As I've told you earlier, since I ignored all of them. When I left the house, I wandered off the mountains and let out all of my feelings, I screamed and I questioned the Creator. I asked Him what was the reason why he gave me this, and of all people why do I have to suffer like this. I stayed in the mountain tops for three days, I was cold, hungry and tired but I still did not get an answer.

Then all of a sudden my body felt so numb, I felt so woozy as if the world was turning around and all went black. I did not know what happened during the time I fainted.

"Are you sure you want to go there, dear?"

I nodded and smiled with assurance.

To continue my story about me wandering around the mountains, I woke up in a place. A quiet, peaceful and calming place after I fainted. It was peculiar as to how and why I got in here, a man then came inside. He told me everything that happened after I fainted. He was a pastor. I stayed in the guest room of the church for a week, and I shared my problems.

His only answer was "God has a plan ahead for you". At first, I didn't get him but in just a week of joining such church activities, sharing your feelings and views to the others, praying and putting more faith in Him and His words. I realized that his answer was right, my mind was clear and calm.

"Sweetheart we're here" I looked at her with excitement.

Staying in the church for a week made me realize that I don't need to be afraid because God has much better plans for me in heaven. I should not be afraid, rather I should be grateful because He gave me a situation that He knows I could handle it well and also excited because I could finally see Him up there.

"Hey, what are you thinking? Are you nervous?" She holds my hand tightly

"Nothing, and I am just a bit nervous" I answered

Today was my first day in college. It was never my parents' plan to let me continue my studies because they plan to make me go into chemotherapy but I insisted on going to college. I really wanted to pursue my dream, so in the end they agreed

And here I am now, entering the campus.

"Thanks mum" She replied with a smile and then we went straight to the dean's office for guidance

"Welcome Mrs. Mendez and Veronika, welcome to our campus" The dean greeted us warmly and let us sat down the chairs

So mum and the dean started talking about some things that I did not understand, then all of a sudden mum's phone rang.

"I'm sorry Dean, an emergency came. Please take care of my Veronika" The dean nodded and smiled with assurance to my mom

"Vey, will you be alright on your own?" She wore her worried face when she said that and for some weird reason, I find it cute.

"Yeah mum, It's alright don't worry" So all three of us stood up to go outside the office.

Mum hugged me and waved goodbye then she rushed outside the campus. When me and the dean were the only one left, she escorted me to my room.

Some of the students were currently looking at me. They're probably wondering why I entered class in the middle half of the semester. I've got to admit, walking here and seeing lively people makes me feel happy.

"And here we are, let's go inside your room and meet your blockmates Veronika" I just smiled at her. She lead the way in and I followed her

Everyone was looking at me, some smiled and some were not really happy to see me so I am kinda nervous right now.

The Dean is actually talking to the professor in class right now. I guess she is also the adviser.

This is kinda cool, I met a lot of lady professionals in just a day.

"Class, she will be your new blockmate. Take care of her, I'll be leaving now" Said the dean

Which leaves me alone standing in front of these people that I don't really know. I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach right now.

What should I do? I'm not used to this. I didn't do introductions even when I was a kid. I grew up being timid and shy.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to the whole class" The teacher smiled at me after saying that. Oh good, she's not a strict teacher. Well hey, I don't know her yet but they say that first impressions are right.

To be honest, I am shaking. I really hate things like this. Why do I have to introduce myself? I mean, what's the purpose? The teacher already knows my name so why cant she just tell the others? Right? Am I right or what?

Right. I'm wrong.

Geez.

"I-im Veronika Race Mendez. Im 18 turning 19 this coming October. My supposed real name is actually Veronica with a C and Grace, not Race but I guess the typewriter made a mistake well anyways, personally I think my name is kinda cool and I like it. I hope you guys are gonna be good to me and make friends with me. Thank you"

And didn't I say I'm not nervous at all? Hah. I did it. I survived and conquered my fear.

Yeah, the fear of talking in front of many people.

Since I was young, I've been really shy. I seldom talk to other people but that changed a bit when I met my adorable, lively and talkative best friend. We're the total opposites but we clicked, it's like we're really fated to be friends.

"Go find a seat now" I nodded and headed straight towards the vacant chair in the mid right corner near the windows.

As I sat down, the professor started her lessons already so I listened and yawned, just kidding. I dont yawn in public, it's too contagious and I might get caught.

Listening.

It has been ten minutes and I noticed that my seatmate at the back was poking me so I turned to face him. He smiled at me like we've known each other for so long but I didn't smile back because I felt weird.

"I'm reminding you about your bucket list journal. Submit it next week, okay? Oh for Ms. Mendez, it is by pair. Class dismiss" She headed straight towards the door.

What? By pair? How am I supposed to find a pair right now? I don't even know these people.

"Hey, the name's Killian. I don't have a pair so I guess you're my partner" I faced him then looked at him with a weird expression. He is feeling a bit close.

I didn't really have any guy friends in my entire life because most of them bullied me. Especially when we're kids, they bully me because I was so pale and skinny. So I kinda hated the idea of having guys as friends.

"Don't worry, I don't bite" He laughed softly at his own joke while I'm just staring at him straight. He is really weird. Weirder than I am.

Am I really stuck with this guy? No other girl that has no pair?

Looking.

Dang it. No one. They are all busy talking about their plans and applying makeup on their faces. I guess I'm stuck.

I just need to act normal. If I want to get through this semester, I have to get along with others without them knowing I have cancer. So I guess, I'm starting with this guy. I'll change my views and attitude starting now.

Changing.

"Okay. Let's be partners, call me Vey." I smiled at him gracefully. He just stared at me for a moment and it's already making me conscious. Is there something wrong with my face? Is there dirt? Or some kind of germs?

Why was he staring at me like that? His stares were really making me feel awkward and the other feeling that I could not explain.

I have never felt this before. I always knew what I'm feeling. I could always tell but right now it's just unexplainable. Like my whole blood is coming up to my cheeks making me so hot.

"You're cute when you blush. I'm going to call you Race so call me Killian, everyone here calls me Heiro" Was I blushing? Is he playing around with me?

Ugh. Why am I feeling so strange right now? Him calling me Race makes me a bit happy. He's the first one calling me that.

Aish. I can't take this anymore. I need to go home. The class is already over so I think I could go outside. I have to figure out this feeling.

I could not possibly like him. No. That's impossible. I'm already set. I don't need to have a boyfriend or a special someone that's going to get hurt more than me when I leave. And besides, I only met this guy today. Who knows what kind of man he really is.