I´m Mallory

Never had I even dared to dream of a life like this.

I started as the ugly and chubby little duckling with parents that

never were around. They were both warriors for the pack, one of the

best in their field, which also meant they traveled a lot. It was never

like I lacked anything special, but I never had anything special either.

My mother and father didn't really want kids, but they had me and

did the best they could for a while.

When I got older, they meant that I could manage myself. The disappointment in their faces when they realized I didn't want to fight as they did and didn't do well in combat training was heartbreaking. I knew very well I would never be able to follow in their footsteps, but the truth was I never wanted to.

Either way, it didn't make it hurt any less. They

never tried to hide their disappointment, mentioned as often as they

could that I wouldn't be so fat if I trained like them. I liked the

training, just not combat and fighting. I enjoyed running and

swimming, but that didn't count. That would not kill anyone.

So, in other words, as I grew older, I didn't mind that I came home

from school to an empty house-less judgment and guilt.

To be frank, I needed that peace and quiet after a long day at school.

You see, to be a werewolf and chubby was a taboo. It seemed like

every single one of them was built like models and Greek goddesses.

So, needless to say, I was picked on. I was never severely bullied, but

just about enough for me to never fit in. I never had a close friend. I

was never invited to join after school. I was an ugly, fat outsider that

even disappointed my own parents. Always left outside, always laughed at.

After a while, even the Luna forgot to invite me to the important or

grand pack events. The first time I asked about it, she was all so

apologetic-kind of.

"Ooh! I'm so sorry, Mallory, did I forget you? Did you know the

couple? Well, maybe? No? well, I guess missing one mating ceremony

is not that bad now, is it?"

I started hearing more often at schools about pack gatherings,

celebrations, and grand dinners for important guests. I was never

there. I was not welcome.

Then the summer when I turned 15 arrived, and apparently, I was

what they called a late bloomer. When school started up again,

everyone looked at me. I grew tall and slim, and my boobs suddenly

decided to show up for the party. My acne cleared, and I discovered

mascara. All this changed me, from an ugly duckling to the girl all

boys drooled at, and girls now wanted to be my friend!

I relished in the attention, I was in heaven!

How naive I was.

I also met Clark, he wooed me off my feet, and I fell hard. My first

and only crush. My first and only love. We were 'The couple' in

school now. Popular, good-looking, and with bright futures.

We were invited to all the parties, all events-everything worth

mentioning, and we were there. He treated me so well, showered me

compliments, and spoiled me like a princess. He even accepted and

understood that I wanted to wait with s*x. I loved everything about

this man. I lived in the perfect fairytale for three years, and I was so

afraid the day I turned 18.

What if I found my destined mate now?

What if it's not him? Just the thought of him finding or mating with someone else made me sick and heartbroken.

I didn't have to worry for long. It was like the moon Goddess blessed

me herself. Clark was my destined mate, my fated partner for life.

I was marked, and I mated with our packs Beta son and the love of my life, Clark.

I was a fool.

For years, our love bloomed, I lived happily, and I had the life I always

wanted. Living in our own little house right by the packhouse, I was a

stay-at-home wife and mate. I helped the Luna and Beta's mate out

with whatever they needed. I volunteered in the children's hospital

and at the orphan house. For once, I felt needed, loved, accepted,

and I felt like I belonged. We also started talking about having our

own family, something I wanted with all my heart and having what I

never really had. To show how an innocent baby and child are supposed to be loved and cared for. The through and dream of a child, that would be my own and Clark´s made my heart flutter. It became my obsession, my goal, everything I prepared for.

Even if this was all I wanted, and there was no lack of trying, it didn't happen as easy as I thought it would, and after about six months, I started having some terrible pain in my lower abdomen but still no pregnancy.

I went to the pack doctor several times. He said nothing was wrong

with me. That didn't change anything, and the pain was often worse

when Clark was away. This started to make me a bit more clingy than

I used to. I didn't want him to go in fear of the pain. I was screaming

in bed alone at night or fainting somewhere. It started to scare me.

What if something was terribly wrong with me? What if I couldn't

bear children? Could I never have the family I longed for? What

would Clark think if we didn't have an heir? Clark was not the one to

take over the Beta position, his older brother was, so maybe an heir

was not that important?

I was fooled.

Then one day, he just came home, of course, right after the worst

pain in my life, so I was fresh out of bed. Puffy red eyes, messy hair,

and I felt terrible, to begin with. First, I was overjoyed and relieved he

came home early; I really needed him beside me now. I was feeling

so weak, scared, and terrible. All I wanted was to throw myself into his warm and safe embrace, for him to tell me everything would be okay!

My smile dropped, and my heart froze when I saw them. Clark, my destined mate, my one true love, was standing in the living room with his hand around a girl's waist. To make it even worse, she was drop-dead gorgeous, and I sensed she was a higher rank than the both of us.

"Clark? Honey, what is the meaning of this?"

"Mallory, good you're home! Please sit down; we need to talk!"

"My ears work perfectly fine while standing up, dear. So what is this?

Who is she, and why the heck are your hands around her waist?"

The gorgeous brunette rolled her eyes and motioned towards the

sofa on the other side of the table as they both sat down beside each

other. I reluctantly sat down, watching Clark the whole time and

waiting for an explanation for him to come to me, for him to hold me

and kiss me before introducing his cousin or something.

" Mallory, like you know, I'm not the one taking over the Beta

position; that's Michael. That basically leaves me as just a pack

member or Beta backup. " He spat out sneering.

I just nod at him. I know this. We both always knew of this, and I have

never heard that there was any problem with that. This was how our future was supposed to be, how we always talked about it.

Before Clark started to talk again, the brunette got up and

disappeared into the kitchen. Probably to give us some privacy, I

thought.

"We haven't got any children yet. It seems that's something you can't

do. It's supposed to be the simplest thing, but you cant do that either can you? So I meet Dahlia, she's the only child of Alpha Greyson.

It was love at first sight, I love her, I love every inch of her and have done so for months. Even do fate has prevented us from seeing each other as much as we craved, she´s already pregnant with my pup. That's how it's supposed to be! Compared to you she is a capable woman! "

I hadn't uttered a word, and I wasn't even sure if I could at that

moment. I just sat there. I was staring at Clark like he suddenly grew

two heads. Tears streamed uncontrollably, and the pain I used to

have in my lower abdomen started to grow in my chest. This must be a bad dream! This is not Clark! He loves me, we love each other we always have! Every word he spits out like its venom, they pierce through me like lighting daggers. The warmth in his voice as he talks about love, love for another woman, and their child makes my stomach turn.

"Drink this, darling. It would help you."

I didn't think anything of it. The brunette served me a hot cup of tea, maybe she felt bad? Maybe she wasn't as evil as Clarks sounded?

I just took a sip, hoping to clear my throat. It was so tight and dry, so I took a big sip hoping it would help me say something, to make him realize his mistake, but he just kept talking.

"I never really loved you, you know? First, you just were the hot babe

in school. I needed to have you to make the rest jealous, but you

turned out to be my mate. Go figure! So I didn't have any choice in

this now, did I? So now I'm making my choice. I'm being a dominant

male and taking control of my destiny. Making my future something I

could be proud of, and you can't be part of that, Mallory. You never

could."

My vision was starting to get blurry. Clouded dots grew in my ears,

making it hard to hear him. Breathing and swallowing suddenly took

so much effort. The only thing I didn't struggle with was crying

without a sound. My heart split into tiny pieces. My wolf howled in

pain. Was this heartbreak? Is this even real? Would I die of a broken heart?

" I think she's ready."

The brunette stood up, smiling at me, but I was

having trouble seeing her. Squinting my eyes, trying to focus but she just slipped away in a traitorous fog, like a demon. My wicked angel of death.

"Don't worry, Mallory, my dear. This will be over before you know it,

but as you know, it's not easy to break a mating bond after we

marked each other. This will break our bond, but also, this way, I can climb the ranks. I can still be an Alpha this way, still with the pack members' respect. Take pride and happiness in knowing this way you can finally make me happy, and because of you, this puppy

will be loved and cared for by a real mother."

Drugged, they must have drugged me. I looked at the cup in front of

me, and I barely noticed the door behind me opening and the disgusting smell of rogues filling my living room. The bites, their laughter, and disgusting touches will forever haunt me in the afterlife.

I died that night. Alone, broken, and in pain.

I died not even worth the air in Clark´s lungs, a sacrifice he was happy to make.

Never again would I love.

When the torture and humiliation finally were over and the darkness

devoured me, I was given a choice.

First, I could come back as myself, look the same, smell the same.

Basically, the old me, but I won't remember anything from that day.

And second, I would become a new woman, I could keep my name if I

wished to, but I would look different. I would get a new wolf. My

smell would change, and I would sound different. Nobody would

know me, but I would remember everything. The betrayal, the

horrible things those rogues did to me. The sound of their voices,

smell, the awful feeling of their sweety dirty bodies crashing into

mine. How they bite me, over my mate mark. My arms, inner thighs,

breasts, and how they laughed. Their groans and grunts. Everything

would haunt me forever.

I chose the second one.

Now I'm a tall, dark beauty. My eyes are hazel brown, and my hair is

almost black. I'm no longer naïve. No more will I be a fool. Never

would anyone keep me in the dark.

I'm Mallory, and I remember everything.

**This book is signed on another app so will not be updated here**