My LIFE ,MY PAIN

I was just 8 years when I was harassed by my neighbor, he will come to me whenever I'm outside playing with my peer, he'll sit on the bench and asked me to lay down and pretend as if I was sleeping, he will put his hand right into my pant and play with my private part till he's satisfy , and he has always tell me my mother will die If I tell anyone ,being someone who love her mother very much ,I don't want anything to happen to her and I never for once open my mouth to tell anyone ,this continue for over a year , I was living a normal life like everybody , there was I time I thought of telling

my mother in secret ,but after thinking about all the stress and the responsibility my mother has to shoulder everyday because because of my father's irresponsibility, I kicked against the idea and I kept it to myself , I come from a family of 6 then , and I happens to be the first, I always help my mom to hawk peanut in the neighborhood, later I started to hawk puff-puff, to support my mother in taking care of us , I love to hawk for my mother then first to assist her ,and second is so I won't be home for my neighbor to harass me ,I hardly have time to play with my mates then cos I'm always out hawking ,I was in primary 5 when my mother decided I should take common entrance examination, and I was asked to pay #2000 , getting the money was a very big challenge for us ,everyday I asked my father for it he has always tell me he never have it , I have to rely on my mother to get the money ,which she couldn't get ,yes we are making money from what she's selling ,but how can we save when we also feed the whole family 3 square meal everyday from it ,my siblings will go to school and it's still from this money, my mother has to pack some of her clothes from the wardrobe to take it to where they sell used clothes, I watched my mother sell her clothes in a peanut amount that doesn't even reach how much she bought them ,from there I was able to get money for my exam all thanks to my mother's sacrifice, I did the exam and I passed ,then to register into Grammer school become problem cos I couldn't meet up with the requirements, my mother run around to get money for the important things for me to register, and fortunately for us ,she was able to borrow money from people, that was how I got registered into Grammer school, I was very happy and I also know I have to double my work so I can support my mother ,I started following our neighbor who work in the garage to sell recharge card during weekends, and I have to hawk puff-puff every morning before going to school ,and still have to hawk peanut in the afternoon when I'm back from school , and get it still couldn't sustain us because my father is not helping and he's not ready to help ,At the same time my mother was also pregnant, nothing is working for us ,some times we'll have to starve from morning till late afternoon just for us to eat only once in a day ,despite the fact that my mother was pregnant, I was already 10years then, my mother will have to lie to us that we are fasting so we won't think much into it , which in reality she has no dime to feed us with ......