The Life Of Eve and Lizzie

I stood by my window as I watched the sun set. The text I just received on my phone made my coffee taste bland and I immediately dropped the mug. My heart began to palpitate. Why did I feel that way? It was caused by the text I just received from my workplace. The text said that my company was going to make an important announcement tomorrow and my attendance was mandatory. My heart beat so fast because I felt that the announcement my company was going to make concerned invention. My hunch told me so. I worked at an inventing company. I've worked there for over twelve years and counting. Since I was a little boy, I always had this zeal to invent because it made me feel seen, appreciated, alive. It made me experience something else.

I chose invention because I obviously wanted to attach something to my life.

I felt very privileged and lucky at my workplace. I felt glad that they'd seen my zeal and skills and hired me. The company I worked for was the highest paying invention company in the country so I felt really honoured to work there and I gave them my everything. I hadn't invented anything for the past two years so I felt empty. This work related text message I just received made me squirm in anticipation. I couldn't wait for what my bosses had to announce tomorrow.

I checked the time. It was half past six now. It was time for my meditation. An inventor could only come up with clean ideas in a clear head.

As I sat down, I crossed my legs and shut my eyes.

I took deep breaths, struggling to feel some sort of quiet in the weather, some kind of peace.

Then I began to hear sounds. It was a shrill scream and I knew it came from next door.

"Damnit!" I cursed. Why was it now that I chose to meditate that my neighbors decided to make noise?

I ignored the sound and shut my eyes again, trying to concentrate but I heard the sounds again. I listened now. They were moaning sounds. I clenching my fist. Were my neighbors boning while I was trying to meditate in a quiet environment? The thought of pissed me.

I shut my eyes again. Concentrate Harley! I chided myself. I just couldn't. The moans were getting louder. I knew I shouldn't disturb their love making but I really had to meditate. Before I knew it, my feet carried me outside my porch, outside my gate, and to my neighbor's house. They left their gate open so I just got in.

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"What's up? Why you banging on my door?" My sweaty neighbor's gruff voice rang in my ears. I studied his expression. He was aggravated. Who wouldn't be?

"Hey man, I came over to tell you that..." How was I going to put it now? Tell your boner to moan silently. You guys are noisy and I need quiet.... I was supposed to say that, wasn't I? They disrupted my meditation and I had the freedom to speak my--

"What's up, man. What did you come to tell me, I need to get back to business" My neighbor said, interrupting me

"I--I wanted to let you know that... I needed to tell you that..." Why the hell was I hesitating?

"Look, man, we'll talk later ---" He said and I knew what he was going to do next, he was going to slam his door in my face and I'll end up feeling shitty because I came all the way from my house to say something but I didn't because I just couldn't. And then I'd wonder why I didn't say it and I'll also come to a conclusion that I couldn't say it because I had a problem with my self esteem....

And then my warped, straying thoughts would ruin my meditation and my evening.

"You moan too loud!" I blurted out. I studied my neighbor's expression again. He was surprised. Then angry?

"What?"

"That--that is what I came to tell you. I want to meditate and I'm trying hard to concentrate but I can't because my neighbors want to whole world to know that they are having sex" I couldn't help but inject sarcasm at the end. That was just how I felt.

"Dude!" My neighbor's voice rose to an octave "You're gonna tell us how to bone?"

"No. I---" I was abruptly interrupted by him

"You wanna teach me how to sleep with my woman?"

"Look, man..."

"Get the fuck off my porch!" He hollered

I felt a series of mixed emotions flood through me. One was rage. Full blown rage. The second was indignation. I felt like I was trampled upon. I didn't like being trampled upon.

"No, you tell your slut to shut the fuck up. Why don't you teach her how to moan?" I fired back.

Was this me or did I have a split personality? At this moment, I didn't really understand myself. I didn't also know how I let those words fly out of my mouth.

"Are you trying to start a fight with me?" My angry neighbor asked

Just then, a blonde woman came out. Wrapping her hands round the man, she asked

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"This douche here came to lecture us about boning" he snorted.

"Really?" The lady asked me now

I knew I had to leave. It was pointless trying to talk to them. But I didn't leave

Instead, I clenched my fists. What the hell was I planning?

"I'm warning you. Keep it down. I won't let this slide the next time"

"Are you trying to start a fight with me dude?" My sweaty and angry neighbor asked again

"Obviously not---"

"Are you here to give us boning lessons?" The lady asked, curling up to the man like a thirsty cat. It still infuriated me.

"I'm not!" I snapped

"Then bugger off, dude!" With that, the door was slammed at my face.

I let out an enraged shriek. The door had been slammed at my face. Finally!

"Try this again and I won't let you fuck in peace" I shouted after them and I didn't care if they heard it or not.

Stupid, stupid neighbors. Who the hell did they think they were, to disturb my meditation.

I kicked against the gravel in fury as I walked home.

My meditation and my evening were now ruined!