Affair

***

The crashing of the waves on the beach doesn't take away my loneliness which is now getting worse. As if punishing me until I can't breathe anymore. I'm cramped here. My heart is weak because the love that Satrio gives slowly changes. Ah, first of all, my name is Shena Arfeya. I am a professional tour guide who has worked for three years. I came to this place with the aim of wanting to mend a broken heart. However, what I got right now was quite the opposite.

I'm broken, my heart is not left. The feeling of disappointment does not heal but only hurts more. For what Satrio did not change. The man never thought about my feelings at all. He who I love finally chose to be ambivalent.

"Aunt why?"

The pull on the hem of the shirt I was wearing made me hastily wipe away the remaining tears. Heya here, she is with me. I shook my head firmly while showing a sweet smile on my lips. I don't want my only niece to think that way about me. "It's okay, honey. Everything's fine," I said reassuringly.

Heya, who was still four years old, asked me to match our heights. I complied. I felt his little fingers wiping the rest of my tears. "Auntie, you can't cry, Heya will be sad too," she said. Instead of obeying, my fragile heart made me cry again.

I hugged Heya tightly. I spilled the sadness on his small shoulders. God, I never thought it would be this painful. Really, my only purpose in coming here was to mend my relationship with Satrio, but what was that guy doing? He dared to introduce Santi to me as his girlfriend.

My heart is helpless, but stupidly I still pretend. As if Santi was not his lover. Though, I realized that. I know everything. I don't know since when Satrio's feelings were divided, or maybe his feelings really have left. The thought of it makes me sob again. Who can accept this? Imagine, ten years we were together, making love to get to the end of the happy waiting. However, what happened? I actually found Satrio's heart was divided.

"No! There's no way he's like that. This must be just a misunderstanding,” I said refusing to believe all of this. However, what exactly do I want to avoid? Is this heartbreak? I chuckled as I let the tears flow again. The only thing I'm afraid of is losing Satrio. I'm afraid of losing his love. That's all I want to avoid.

I wiped my tears roughly, then I broke my hug on Heya. I stared closely at my nephew. "Hey honey, Uncle Satrio can't hurt us. He cares and loves us so much all this time," I said. Maybe Heya wouldn't understand, but I knew this was all I wanted to say right now. I want to make my heart believe that Satrio can't be this cruel to Heya and him.

Satrio knows exactly how I've been all this time. He understands me wholeheartedly. It's impossible just because a Satrio woman is willing to destroy me this deep. "Honey, let's find your Uncle!" take me to Heya.

I still have faith that Satrio didn't really want to hurt me. Satrio must be just kidding at this point. The man still loves me very much and would never think of hurting my feelings. However, that belief slowly faded when my eyes caught the image of two people making out there. Watch events on the beach held by the resort.

My heart beats fast. I stared closely at him who seemed to embrace another woman in front of my eyes. Without shame they share jokes and laughter. Thousands of needles stabbed into my heart mercilessly when Heya asked her questions about her beloved uncle who was with another woman in front of him.

"Why is Uncle there with the beautiful aunt?" Santi Cantika is what Heya meant. The woman Satrio introduced to me as his girlfriend. Oh my God … What is this feeling. My heart broke beyond my ability to accept.

"Why Uncle not invite Heya, auntie?" Another question followed from Heya's small mouth. My heart is broken. The only thing I can answer from that question is because Heya's beloved Uncle doesn't want to be bothered by them.

I closed Heya's eyes when Satrio moved closer to Santi. Then my eyes forced to see a scene that hurts more than just hugging. crushed. The place where I kept my feelings for Satrio was destroyed. It was totally shattered when Satrio made love to Santi without hesitation even though he knew I saw him. I can no longer describe how I felt when Santi returned his caresses just as tenderly. Now, what exactly am I doing?

What am I holding on to? Why am I not also aware that what Satrio wants is separation. I should have gone there. Gives a hot slap to Satrio and his mistresses. However, see what happened? I ran away carrying Heya in my arms. Crying like a fool who doesn't know what to do.

"Auntie …"

"Auntie, I want Uncle Satrio! Heya is going there, auntie!” I don't care anymore about Heya's screams. Usually, I'd be happy to take Heya to that guy whenever she was looking for Satrio, but not anymore. How could I go there and allow myself and Heya to become spectators of their intimate scene.

Not! Really I'm not that tough. Let it all be pretended now because I still hope that this relationship will recover as before. I really don't want to give up right now. Satrio is mine and will forever be mine. Even Satrio knows that. He understands me, he understands my feelings.

Like an unstable woman, I returned there after taking Heya to the inn and putting her to sleep. I left Heya after that. I returned to meet Satrio and his mistress. The night was getting late, but my intention to hold Satrio back in my arms was still burning. I really want to fix this error. I want to hear Satrio's explanation. I wonder why he has the heart to do this to me and Heya.

“Feya!”

I stopped running when I heard someone calling my name loudly. When I turned around I found an old friend. The friend I had to stay away from in order to protect Satrio's feelings. "Axel?" I asked in disbelief.

He, Axel Adijaya is in this place too? What a coincidence. Of the many people I met today, Axel was one of them. “W… why are you here?” I asked again.

Axel was as surprised as I was. Let me guess, he wasn't expecting to see me again either. "We have a reunion. You don't know?” He asked. I frowned. Reunion? Suddenly I remembered the chat message that Bianka, my college friend, sent a few days ago. Wait a minute? If Axel was here, chances are my other friends were too.

My pupils widen when I remember something. Don't let them see Satrio with that woman! I don't want Satrio to have a bad image in their eyes.

"Sorry, Xel, I have to go!" I said. I didn't have time to say anything more to Axel because Satrio is my priority right now. I really don't want my college friends to catch Satrio cheating on me.

However, Axel held my hand. He shook his head slowly while looking at me with pitying eyes. My heart was beating erratically. Questions alternately filled my mind when the bad presumption approached. Is it possible that Axel has seen Satrio and the woman? I shook my head firmly, no way! Satrio can't be that stupid to let people see his bad behavior.

"Don't go there now," Axel pleaded. My doubts about him not being able to see Satrio are now gone. My shoulders went limp when Satrio was actually there and was talking with some of my former college friends. He didn't embrace Santi anymore, but perhaps they could read their closeness.

I forced Axel to let go of my hand. “You …” I wanted to ask, but I was too hesitant. Too afraid of Axel's answer.

However, the head of the man nodded in certainty. "I saw Satrio with that woman earlier. I also saw you running away," He explained. I chuckled, my smile rising very forced. It's really embarrassing because this incident has to be watched by Axel, the man who ten years ago asked me to choose him.

“I have to stay there. Satrio is not what you think. He's still my lover."

That's right. Until now, Satrio is still my boyfriend. He never asked me to go and leave him even though he pushed me many times. Satrio never loudly asked me to break this relationship. We are still together, still in the same bond as these Ten years.

Without waiting for Axel's response, I ran towards where Satrio and my college friends accidentally met. The man looked normal when he saw me. Naturally, Santi stepped aside, as if it were indeed my place beside Satrio. However, once again Satrio broke my heart. He held back Santi's departure. Ask him to sit back. It really made me lose face.

Luckily I didn't stand up for long, Axel approached. The man asked me to sit somewhere else. Even though I had to, I ended up following him. I looked at Satrio's face. Somehow I hoped to find jealousy there. Just like before when I was busy playing with Axel. However, by the time the event ended, I could no longer find the annoyance on Satrio's face.

Was it true that he wasn't jealous when I tried to chat with Axel? Is it true that Satrio doesn't love me anymore? This question is really torturous. I can't help but ask. I left Axel then ran to Satrio. Everyone looked at us with suspicious looks. Then I pulled Satrio away from there. Leaving Santi who didn't even dare to call his name.

Very closely I looked at Satrio. I let him know how much the wound in his heart is gaping because of what he did. I want to hear an apology from that man right now. However, until the seconds passed into minutes, Satrio's mouth did not open. The man fell silent. Just waiting for me to talk.

“What…” I paused. "What's really going on between us, Satrio? You didn't even care when I talked to Axel, who you used to be jealous of." The question demands an explanation. I want Satrio to admit his mistake then I will be happy to forgive him.

"Why be jealous when I have another lover?"

My heartbeat raced, but I seemed to lose strength. My body suddenly slumped at his confession. Oh God ... What exactly does Satrio want? Does he want me to leave him? Then what about our wedding plans? Is it really just bullshit?

I shook my head in disbelief. Many already know about it. Even my college friends who were sitting there knew we would be getting married soon.

"You're crazy!" I snapped. Satria doesn't care. He doesn't reach for me as usual when I'm mad at him. The man I loved so much chose to leave me alone.

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To Be Continued.