In this story, we look at Amara's childhood and why she became the young woman that she is. Amara had to endure a broken home, an absent father and an emotionally unavailable mother. The irony is that she was a daddy's girl growing up until he literally walked out the door and never walked backed in. Her life was then turned upside down at the age of 12 years old when her mother decides to uproot her and her younger sister off to a different state because she found love. Amara grew up to be an angry, hyper independent, strong but sensitive girl. She built walls that one would swear they could see them in a literal sense in order to protect her heart and to not allow people to see the darkness that she carried in her pupils. If she had the burning urge to cry, she would lift her head up and the hot tears would fall back into her eyes. No one had the privilege to see her cry. Amara is now 18 years old and finally free from the dreads of her hollow mother. Amara has come to realise that her tough exterior and her coping mechanisms are things she is going to have to unlearn in order to truly live her life for the first time. She has the task t unlearn every unhealthy way she used to cope with her trauma, she has to unlearn how to hide and learn to love and hurt out loud in order to live. in essence Amara believes that she is going to have to expose herself to the world in order to truly understand why she is the way that she is.
Chapter 1 You Don't Know Me, yet.
Have you ever paid attention to your tears as rolled down your flustered cheeks? I have, many times. I have noticed that tears burn you, everything that burns you inside is exposed by the tears that roll down your face. I thought that I could hide away my pain, always keep it inside then I would have been able hold on just a little bit longer. The sad truth is that tears expose all your ugly truths to the universe even when nobody is watching. I had never experienced real and raw emotions before because I did not allow myself to.
This was all to protect me is what I would tell myself, protect myself from the unknown and what would come from truly feeling. I knew. I knew that I would not be able to live this way forever, but what I failed to realise is that when that day came where I had to learn to truly feel, everything that I had done to protect my heart for so long would have to crumble and fall. The barrier that I had built, the barrier that kept me safe from hurt also kept me from growing. I realise that as a human I need to feel to live, the good only comes with the expectation and acceptance of the bad. The good and the bad have an antagonistic relationship that needs to be sustained to understand the world for what it is. I had to welcome the world to see my tears burn me as they rolled down my flustered cheeks. In order to know me I must take you to a time where I would never allow you to see me for me.
Chapter 1 You Don't Know Me, yet.
17/07/2023
Chapter 2 Learn Me: The Loss of Innocence
17/07/2023