Royal Dilemma

Nike

It's been a long day. A very exhausting, long day. I spent hours in traffic just trying to get home and my stomach is empty and hurting. I've only had a sausage roll, and a can of soda all day. Any longer without getting home, and I might pass out. I'm beginning to get lightheaded. This is exhausting and getting too much for me to bear. I need to put an end to this madness.

The labor market is getting too tough. Over the years, I've been watching this country's survival routes become. More and more hostile. I want out.

******

"Why are you just getting home, Nike!? You're coming home so late, don't you know it's dangerous to be out this late? You had me worried.

And You weren't picking up my calls! I thought something happened to you. "Mom yells at me the moment I walk into the house, and I shut my eyes as I saw this coming.

She had called my phone countless times and I even saw some missed calls from my dad. I'm sure she made him do it. Normally, my father is an excessively relaxed person. Even if I didn't come home tonight, he'd only start panicking if he didn't hear from me by tomorrow afternoon. And needless to say, my mother is the complete opposite. Very easy to scare and rile up.

"Mom, I know I made you worried, and I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. But the traffic was crazy. That's why I came home so late. And you know it's dangerous to take phone calls in vehicles with see-through windows so late at night.

You know how dangerous this area can be. I didn't want to lose my phone or risk getting the attention of area thugs who could follow me home and hurt me, or us. "I reply. Rambling nonstop, and hoping that she'd forgive me for keeping her on her toes like I did.

"Oh, then you should have sent a text before taking off. You had me worried. I'm sure my blood pressure would have shot up by now! "My brown-eyed mother whines, and I smile at the adorable, small woman.

"I'm sorry, mom... "I apologize again, and she sighs and looks away.

" I'm just glad that you're back safely. "She replies, and I take a deep breath and smile. Thank God I was able to put a quick end to that. I just want to get everything I have planned in my head for tonight out, and then go to bed.

"Come on go upstairs and freshen up so you can join us for dinner. "She then says as Dad walks into the living room, and I nod as I come back to earth.

"My princess. You're back. "Dad says as he walks up to me with open arms, and I smile and walk up to him with my arms up. I hug him before planting a kiss on his cheek, and he reciprocates. Causing me to smile. My whole life, my father has been a safe place and an amazing lover to me. He'd forever remain my first love. Just one hug from him relieved some of my stress. I'd always remain a daddy's girl.

"So, how was it? Did you get the job? "He questions, and then my face falls in disappointment.

"No, Dad. I'm a first-class graduate, and I still can't get a job. Things are getting much worse in this country these days. I don't think I can stand it for much longer. "I reply honestly, and he gives me an encouraging smile before gently patting my back.

"It's okay, my princess. God will make a way. You're a bright young woman. Doors would definitely open for you at the right time. "He replies, and I sigh.

I watch in silence as he goes to sit on his favorite couch in the living room, and I let out a breath as I decide to let them know about the decision I made today. I've been thinking about it for a while now, but today was just the deal breaker.

"Mom... Dad, there's something I want to tell you. "I say, as I avert my gaze to the ground. Doubtful of how this would play out... It's not impossible to pull... I mean, we have the money... But it's a bit too sudden.

"Yes, dear? "Mom replies as she sets the dining table, and I take a deep breath.

"I was thinking... About traveling abroad to work. I have a friend who lives in England. I could process a visa and go stay with her for the main time just to work. It's almost holiday time in David's school.

You guys can renew your visas, and come over with him to spend the holiday with me. I can't... Keep toiling like a horse like this in this country.

Things are too hard. I'm sure I'd have better, and bigger opportunities for myself over there, as a nurse. I can't keep up this fruitless job hunt. "I blurt, and the room falls silent for a few seconds...

"That's... Not a bad idea. It's good that you want to pursue your dreams and are determined to build a bright future for yourself.

And moving to England... Is quite a lot, but I guess it goes to show how big your dreams are, and how strong-willed my baby girl is. " Dad says with a smile, and I turn to Mom who's silent.

"Have you told Femi about your plans? "She then questions looking curious, and I can't tell if she's on board with the idea or not.

"Yes, Mom I spoke to him yesterday and he's fine with it. He's been processing his visa too for a job opportunity he got. "I say, and she sighs. Femi is my fiancee. We plan to get married someday, but we both want to be financially stable first. So we don't bring kids we can't care for, into the world and add to its problems.

"Honey, it's a good idea, but it's a lot, and I don't know if we'd be able to handle everything under such short notice. It's all... So sudden. "She replies, and I sigh.

"We'd find a way, Mom. It's for the best. Nigeria's labor market is too gruesome for me... "I reply, and she sighs in surrender.

"Fine. I guess we should start planning our next vacation then... "She replies, and my jaw drops in surprise. They'd be coming with me too? That would be awesome!

"Grand! "I exclaim in joy. I'm happy that everything is going as planned. I can only hope this new path that I'm about to thread favors me.

I have big dreams. Massive dreams. And I can only hope they come true.

********

"Mummy, this apartment is awesome!! It's so big and way better than our old house in Nigeria. "My brother says with excitement as he looks about the living room with his big bright eyes, and as he runs about checking the rooms, I can't help but giggle at his cuteness.

"Relax, little man. You're still going back there after the holidays. Don't get too carried away. "I say to the small photocopy of my dad as he runs back into the living room, and as I ruffle his hair with my fingers, I watch his face fall.

"Aww... Don't be sad. You still have about three months to spend here and you can constantly keep visiting. "I say to my younger brother as I pick him up, and I watch new hope glimmer in the eighth-year-old eyes.

"That's enough cuddling you two. You guys should go upstairs and put your luggage where they're meant to be. "Mom says. Crashing the party, and I sigh as I drop my younger brother .

I'm glad they offered to come with me and get us a house. I really appreciate the fact that I do not have to pester my friend Teni by bunking with her till God knows when like I previously planned. That reminds me. I need to pay her a visit soon.

This better be a good year for me.

*******

I was wrong. This year isn't looking like a good year for me, and no! Getting a job abroad isn't easier than getting a job back home. I honestly don't want to regret my decision, but I'm beginning to...

Two months passed and I am still looking for a job everywhere. I made a huge mistake thinking things would be easier here than they were in Nigeria. Gosh, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. It's another struggle all on its own.

"Are you okay? "Mom asks staring worriedly at the sad figure in front of her. In a matter of weeks, I've stopped smiling and laughing as much as I used to. I'm now turning into a shadow of myself.

"Yes, mom. I'm fine. No need to worry. "I say. Looking down to avoid eye contact with my mom so she wouldn't see the hurt in my eyes and catch my lie. I don't want her to get worried. She, my dad, and my brother would be heading back soon, and I still hadn't found my footing. I feel like crap.

"Look at me, Nike. "She then orders before raising my chin so, she can see my face.

"I know you aren't happy because of the delay to get a job, but there's still time.

So, you should not get all worked up about it. You just need to have faith and not give up. "She says with an assuring smile, and I feel tears build in my eyes as I stare at her.

"Thanks, Mom. "I croak as I pull her into a hug. Holding her tightly to myself. She always knows when I need her the most.

She knows just what to say to calm me, and how to make me feel better. I needed the reassurance. Because I was beginning to feel lost and like I had no idea what I was doing anymore.

"It's okay, my baby... "She says as she pats my back, and I sigh.

I feel better after hearing her reassuring words. But only a bit. I still feel like crap, and I'm beginning to feel like I'm unlucky. However, I love how supportive my parents are.

I love that my mom knows just how to pacify me. And now that I think about it, I feel bad that they have just one more month to spend with me. I wish I could make them stay longer.

I don't know if I'd be able to hold out on my own after they leave.

Was it a bad idea to come here?

What does this place hold for me?

Will I regret my decision?

Was moving here a good choice?

I can only hope... Hope is all I have.

I pray I won't regret moving to London.