Show me what Love is

Life is filled with numerous occurrences that define us and make us who we are. I guess our only duty is to know which is helpful and which isn't. Some part of the helpful part can be dangerous at times but we need to take a chance on ourselves to find out.

Countless times within the nineteen years of my existence I've neglected the happy moments, regretted my decisions, and wondered what I should have done differently.

There are many what-ifs in life, like:

What if I didn't say that?

What if I had done something differently?

I'm not saying that we can use this to justify our actions yet, our actions are the very thing that led us to certain moments in our lives. We watch the sunset at the horizon, spreading its largess into a grateful sky. Rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples, and crimsons.

Afina, That's my name; Afina Jones. A girl who despite being abandoned as a child, is filled with ambition. I will never abandon anyone.

"So," Lisa says, breaking the silence. "Tomorrow we graduate. We're no longer kids."

Bradley rolls his eyes. "Lisa, you've been saying that for the past hour,"

"Yeah, could we talk about something else?" I ask, giggling.

Lisa huffs, pouting. "This is a big deal! We can't be reckless teenagers anymore, especially you, Bradley."

I smile, agreeing.

"Don't worry, little sis," Bradley responds with an impish grin. "I got it all figured out."

I raise my eyebrows. "Little sis? You do realize she's your twin sister, right?"

"I've been around longer" He huffs.

Lisa punches him playfully in the arm. "Only by two hours, dickhead!"

They fall to the ground, playfighting as I laugh wholeheartedly.

Bradley smirks at me. "Get in babe, you know you want to,"

I shoot him the finger. "In your dreams, asshole,"

"Let me be your asshole," He winks.

I roll my eyes, smiling. "Shut up, Haastrup."

We all lay on the grass. Bradley holds out both of his arms so we can snuggle up together. I look at the sky, waiting for the stars to come out. And for a moment, there is just silence. The silence caressed my skin like a cool summer breeze. It was as comforting as a nurturing mother.

But then I became unsure.

"Whatever happens, I wish that the three of us stay together," I whisper to Bradley.

He looks at me, in assurance. "We're right by your side, just like you're by our side,"

I nod. "Of course,"

"Whatever happens, whatever life throws our way," He says. "You'll be fine, even if we aren't here."

"How do you know?" I query.

"Because that's who you are. You move on and get on with life," Bradley replies. "You worry too much."

I smile, scoffing. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks."

"No problem kiddo. Get some rest."

When the stars come out to play and the evening takes on that aroma of the night, when the crickets sing for the joy of living, life awaits. I love the softness, the quiet, the sense of rest. My thoughts slow as a beautiful carousel, each dancing as ribbons from a kite string that reaches for the sky, its colours embracing those lofty heights and inviting in the dreams that wear festival costumes and are formed of music.

In our sleep, we are children again. We dream of things past, things that will never be again. In our dreams, we have comfort, freedom, and love. Sometimes we can be visited by those we lost and for those perfect hours of sleep, we are whole again. Then on waking, we scramble to write it down, just in case there is wisdom in the randomness.

It's not that we think they're really talking to us, mostly, but our subconscious minds can send these people we esteem with solutions. Of course, sometimes it's all garbage or too obscure to figure out. Sometimes they are nightmares, but those are getting fewer and far between now that life has settled back into a rhythm.

I truly look forward to turning in at night, which is funny because, I remember wanting to stay up late, not wanting to sleep at 9 pm, but rather at 1 am. Yet, now sleep is precious, and desired.

**********************************

It had finally happened. The moment of truth is the stepping stone to the real world. This is what they've been preparing us for. After thirteen memorable years. Through the good, bad, idiotic, fun, and change. It was finally time. Time to step out into that bright light, shake the hand of an administrator, and grab the ticket to freedom. The piece of paper that would remind me forever that I've accomplished something. Most of all it's that time to look out among all the fellow classmates, stick up two middle fingers and say "fuck you all." In August, College will start but I knew I wouldn't be attending. For now, I was as free as a bird. All I had to do was sit in this uncomfortable robe and wait for my name to be called. California, here I come!

In December, when everyone is in College, I'll be working. I've known Bradley and Lisa ever since I was five years old. They came from a rich background since Mr. Haastrup and Lisa's father owns the famous 'Haastrup Suites', a well-known hotel around the world. Since I was thirteen, Dean Haastrup, or as I prefer to call him: 'Nip Tip' noticed my interest in the hotel and began teaching me about hotel management. My dream has been to take over the hotel when he believes I'm ready since Bradley and Lisa want to do something else.

It may seem like I'm taking advantage of my best friend's riches, but I prefer to see this as an opportunity. I am an orphan, with no truth of who I really am and where I came from so I believe that this opportunity is a way to give back. I probably don't make any sense right now... never mind.

----------------------

Lisa squealed. "I can't believe we just graduated, all of us!"

I smiled back. "I know! I'm so excited!"

Bradley chuckled and hugged us both. "Hey Lisa, you figure out what you're gonna do in September?"

"You know, I think I want to practice law, you guys!" She beams happily.

"Did you watch 'Legally Blonde' again?" I frown.

She glares at me and throws her cap. "Shut the fuck uppppp!"

Me and Bradley look at each other before laughing.

"What are you going to do, Brad?" I ask.

He looked at me and we locked eyes for a few seconds before he looked down, zoning out and then re-zoning in.

"I uh-" He stammered. "I've actually been thinking about the military..."

"The military?" Lisa says. "Are you sure?"

"Well, I've already applied... and mum and dad know. They're good with it."

"I think that's amazing, Brad" I say, giving him an honest smile. "When do you leave?"

He sighs. "I have just over a week left before I have to go"

"Just a week? Jesus, Bradley when were you going to tell us?" I queried.

Lisa backed me up. "Yeah, these are things we have to know... we won't see you for months, possibly even a few years,"

I sigh and calm myself down. "Nevermind, that doesn't matter anymore. If you have a week... let's make it a good one."

Bradley smiled at me.

"And the first thing we can do to make this a great week is crash the leavers party," Lisa said, smirking.

"Oh hell yeah," I reply, grinning mischeviously.

"Hey um..." one of the graduates called out. Was he talking to me?

"Afina, right?" Vanessa asked.

"Yeah" I responded.

"Are you going to the leavers party?" He asked me.

I nodded in response.

"Hope to see you there" He smirks, winking at me before walking away.

Lisa looks at me, laughing.

"Somebody's getting laid," she says in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes, giggling and told her to shut up.