The monster in me

Watching the sun rise and set has always been a part of my daily routine. I have always been a huge fan of nature, watching birds winging in groups to get breakfast is totally amazing. To shorten their journey I always reserved some food for them on my window.

They never failed to come.

The best part of my life is being a nurse at one of the best hospitals in the state. Telling patients they're going to be fine when things were actually complicated was the hardest have part of my occupation. But still I loved it, especially the morning rounds with doctor David.

Looking stunning as always in my blue uniform, holding firmly to my pen and record book, taking note of every detail from one patient to the order with doctor David watching my every move and listening to my every word as I spoke to fault me.

I sure did know how to triumph over my enemies.

If I were to describe him I would love to start from his masculine scent, he smells like sweet. His body structure was perfect, not too hard on the gym and not too weak as well.

Every patient and nurse loved him, in fact it was hard not to love him. He's a professional at what he does. Even at the most complicated surgery he still has a way to calm his patients assuring them of a better life once they woke him.

I did wonder if it was heaven he meant.

Mother spoke often about the new home.

Try not to be carried away by all his flashy attributes. David is cruel especially to me, why? Because I turned him down. I wasn't going to be his sex toy like most female nurses. Most of them went as far as begging him to be used as his favorite sex toy even for an hour.

Sexing with the charming David was now more of a priority to them than being the best at what they do. That's why they wouldn't stop swarming in like bees.

Not like I'm jealous.

The time went by really fast just as I had prayed. By 7pm I have a date with the love of my life. I have known him since college, he traveled on a business trip and just arrived, now he wants us to go on our fourth date. Fate had brought us together

Here is the gist.

Nora asked me to watch the school game with her alongside a couple of friends. As always I refused. I hated football, I saw it as a waste of time and money for those who did bet. Screaming your lungs out for some guy. Gawd!!, That evening I lost my voice to Lawrence.

Today he is a successful entrepreneur, he owns a house and a car, his parents had loved me from the very first day he introduced me to them. He wasn't the best of the best. In Fact no one is perfect. Everyone have their flaws which can be worked on.

Most times I feel I'm the problem in our relationship. I kept doing the wrong thing. I didn't mind going over to his place apologizing.

Lawrence arrived at my door step earlier than expected. Punctuality has been his number one principle. I stood by the doorstep looking amazing for the one man I have ever loved and would forever love. I wore a long v-neck wine gown with a slit up to my knees revealing my straight legs.

"Woow"

That was the first word I had expected from him and then,

" Your breathtakingly attractive"

Just as I had read in novels and watched on tv.

"Do you like it" I asked, my cheeks burning with smiles.

I waited for his response. It took longer than expected. I looked him straight in the eye, my smiles faded. There was no glitter in his eye.

There was disdain in his eyes. not again. I have faulted again.

"I'm disappointed"

He finally spoke.

The harshness of his tone causes the cold breeze to become hot. I could feel my mascara melting. One hour of shopping and forty five minutes of dressing up has been a waste of time.

" Nora put you into this right?"

I was a terrible liar. Denying the clear facts would be foolish of me. Lies only made matters worse.

Nora is known to be slutty sometimes and Lawrence doesn't appreciate me hanging out with her.

No man would want his girlfriend appearing as some slut in public.

" You have just five minutes"

He looked at his watch then at me wondering why I was still there.

Five minutes. So it must be, I mustn't delay any further or else I would have to send text messages, voice notes and then visit him to properly apologize.

Candles, cool breeze and a lovely life band playing in the background. He had taken me to the finest restaurant. Everyone was fastidious and cheerful except me.

I ate food quietly trying not to draw more attention than my clothes already had. I avoided his hot gaze on my gloomy face.

" Ivana"

He called after the tasty meal.

" Yes" I tried forging a smile to brighten up my face. I know how ugly it must have become fuming with shame.

"I'm sorry…. I…uhm…"

"It's fine"

" Don not cut me shot"

I pressed my lips together, shutting it up. I was just sharp tongued.

"That's it, I'm sorry."

"Okay" I responded, avoiding his sorry look.

" I expect you to do the same. Apologize."

Was he for real? Yea he was.

"I'm Sorry"

I looked him straight in the eyes for a while. Something I haven't done before. I could see his insecurities, fear and blood. It would test like a soar wine perhaps. My eyes became like an x-ray. I could see and hear the rhythm of his heart beat, every blood flowing in his veins was clear to me.

Would it hurt if I…..

Just then I noticed him winking in pain. Holding dearly to his heart.

His face became pale as he gasped for breath.