A Symphony Of Chance and Choice

The rays of sunlight filtered into my bedroom through the window, they met me already awake, I had been awake for a while; sleep was the luxury of the rich and I was far from rich.

I got up, stretched and made my bed or at least I tried to until the whirlwind that is Eugene cannonballed onto my comforter, I rolled my eyes, my baby brother is ten and had just entered his 'do everything to drive your sister mad' phase- I hated it.

"Good morning sis, what's for breakfast? " the little devil called out, his brown eyes- the one feature everyone in this house had in common sparkled, I almost smiled but I composed my face quickly before that could happen.

"If you don't get your smelly feet off my pillow, you won't need breakfast " I snapped.

He smiled like he knew he could call my bluff and after rubbing his feet in for extra measure - cue my eye roll, he stood up and left muttering under his breath about how he was going to tell Mum I was trying to starve him to death- as If anyone would believe that.

I finished dressing my bed and went to the kitchen to start breakfast, soon the kitchen was filled with the sweet smell of syrupy pancakes, sizzling bacon and coffee.

Eugene had already set the table and I set the plates of food down, I sighed as I noticed that I had subconsciously put less food in one plate- because of my mum's illness she doesn't eat much, I shook off the dark cloud of sadness that was threatening my mood and shouted in a false-cypher voice.

"Breakfast is ready!" almost immediately I could hear my brother's footsteps rushing down from where he was doing his chores upstairs.

"Finally!" he rolled his eyes at me and I stuck out my tongue and flicked his forehead but before he could retaliate, I heard mum's quiet footsteps and I turned towards the sound, she walked into the room and I had to stop myself from gasping- she looked so small.

The cancer had done a number on her, I had a hard time reconnecting the fierce woman who single-handedly raised my brother and me to this pale, fragile woman in front of me.

Her favourite cyan bathrobe is wrapped tight around her like she's freezing and her eyes are sad " Good morning mum " Eugene greets and it breaks me out of my trance. She smiles at him and sits down, I walk to her and kiss her forehead simultaneously pulling her crooked wig straight, she smiles at me- that's all she seems to do these days-smile.

I set her mug down and she finally speaks “Thanks hunny" Her voice is raspy, she looks at Eugene wolfing down his pancakes and smiles a genuine smile

“How's school baby"? She asked him while rubbing his hair.

"Mmffm" he answers with his mouth full and she laughs, Eug and I look at ourselves and then we are laughing too, and for a moment everything is good, then mum starts coughing and the moment is gone, the cough is raking through her body, leaving her shaken, I grab a bunch of tissues from the box on the table and hand it to her silently, she cleans the blood off her hand and goes to the bathroom to rinse her mouth.

The school bus horns for my brother and he folds his last pancake into his mouth, I make a disgusted face at him, and he grabs his bag and runs out as I clear the table, hurrying when I look at the clock and see that I'm getting late for work.

I take Mum's still full plate to the kitchen, I put it in a tray with her coffee and take it to her room where I know she's lying down, I place it on her nightstand.

Taking her cold hand into mine and giving it a little rub "Stop worrying so much hunny" she rasps.

"I can't help it Mum" I whisper back " I need to go now, I'm getting late, will you be alright till Alicia gets here?" she nods weakly and I sigh.

I don't want to leave her but I have no choice. I place a kiss on her forehead, smiling at her before leaving the room. I grab my purse from my room, locking the main door- Alicia, my mum's caretaker has a key and then I'm off.

Carl's cafe where I work is a ten-minute walk from our apartment, I look down at my watch and I see that I'll make it in time or at least I'll not be more than two minutes late.

I hasten my steps, my feet moving to the tempo of the song I'm listening to and soon I'm in the cafe.

Rachel, my co-worker, looks at me with a look that says 'Girl, you're late', I look at her and smile sheepishly in apology, she throws me my apron, I catch it mid-air and go to wash my hands and put on my hairnet in the back.

I come back out and join Rachel in attending to customers, several moments later, the bell on the door rings and I look up from the counter I was wiping, I let out a chuckle as I see who it is, I look over at Rachel and the chuckle turns into a full-blown laugh, she glares at me but the glare turns into a smile as the customer approaches her.

"Hello Josh, welcome to Carl's cafe, what can I get you?" She chimed sweetly.

"Hey, I'd like a cup of coffee, two sugars, no cream and ..." his voice trails off as he glances at her and seems lost in her eyes.

"And a..?" Rachel prompts and he goes on to ask for a muffin with his face red, I chuckle and Rachel glares at me again but I'm sure that she would be visibly blushing too if not for her cocoa skin.

She and Joshua have been flirting with each other for about three months now, they're totally into each other but my strong-headed best friend would rather die than admit it and I think Joshua is too bashful to make the first move.

After the morning coffee rush, things slowed down. Rach and I have been watching people.

I can tell from the way she keeps stealing glances at me that she wants to talk about something more serious than why so many girls are wearing mini skirts in this weather- it's mid-October! at this point, invulnerability to the freezing wind could be considered their superpower.

"Amelia, how is your mum?" I take a deep breath and avoid her eyes, my throat already feels scratchy, if I look at her, I'd cry.

I shake my head and she pulls me into a tight hug. “She doesn't seem to be getting better Rach, she's so pale, she's always freezing and the worst part is that the Chemo is taking every single penny we have, I'm working two jobs but it doesn't seem like it makes a difference, I'm so tired Rach, so very tired".

At this point I had given up on holding the tears in, thank goodness nobody was in the cafe, but Rachel still dragged my heaving body into the employee's room, she held me tight and I cried until I was spent.

After I had washed my face I felt guilty, my mum is the one going through the pains and rigours of stage four lung cancer, and here I am crying like a doof.

Rachel gives me an unopened bottle of water and I smile in appreciation.

"It's going to be alright Amy, it's going to be just fine..." she trails off and I can't help but smile. Rachel has never been the touchy-feely type, but as she crushes me in another bear hug I believe her, it's going to be alright.