It's never brighter on the other side

I dusted my clothes as I came down from the car. “Pele, the government has to do something about these roads”. The woman who sat beside me said. I smiled, walked to the trunk and picked my bag then walked to sit under the big tree to wait for my dad, he should have been here by now, what’s taking him so long. I sat comfortable on the bench under the tree wondering why drivers always ask to pay extra when a passenger is traveling with a bag. Was the trunk not created for that ?. But then Nigerians always find a way to extort money from people only to end up blaming the government.

“ Baby girl , onibinu ni o had to branch the filling station to get fuel”. My dad said struggling to lift my box and tying it to the iron on his lady bike. He sat on bike while I lifted my leg, stretched it forward carefully as to not hit the box and sat down. “ Are you comfortable or would you take okada”. He said straining his neck to look back. “ I can manage sir”.

The ride back home was quiet, it wasn’t like me and my dad where that close before I moved to live with him infact I saw him once in a year and he is a strict man not someone you can get close to. He’d beat you for the slightest mistake , I shifted a little on the bike wondering if i can really mañage to be in this uncomfortable position till we get home. I started wondering what my life would be like living with him. I know myself, i know how troublesome I can be and my dad is a no nonsense man. How will I cope ?

“ ati dele o”. He said as he held the bike steady so I can get down from the bike. I got down amazed at how big the mango tree in front of our house has grown. We entered house and he lead me to my room, it was already cleaned all I had to do was arrange my things I dropped my bag and lay on the bed staring at the ceiling as my mind slowly drifted back to the reason I had to move in with my dad.

A formal introduction.

My name is James Ayo I am 13 years old . I stayed with my mum through my primary school days and switched to a boarding house for my secondary school. I can assure you that switching to that boarding house is the genesis of my problem. I was 8 when I wrote the common entrance exam and I was 9 when I was accepted, I didn’t know how to feel about leaving my mum, friend and family for a boarding house. You see, I wasn’t particularly concerned about missing my dad he rarely came around because of his work and my mum could not afford to leave her work to move in with him. My mum is a teacher and my dad a mechanical engineer, so you see why he rarely came around. My dada was never In support of me schooling in a boarding house as a matter of fact I can vividly remember they had a serious fight about this but my mum, she’s a strong headed woman whatever she says is final even my dad wouldn’t argue with her . My dada tried delaying the payment of my school fees just to see if she would change her mind but my mum took out a loan and cleared the bills, he had no choice but to go along with the plan . I didn’t know how to feel then, I wanted to go but at the same time was scared of what life would be like without my mum .

THE BOARDING HOUSE.

On the 15th of September 2013. I woke to a loud pounding on my door. “ Ayo , Ayo wake up”. I opened my eyes staring into nothing but darkness, I stoop up slowly walking to my door. “ mummy.” I said as I opened the door. “ you have to start getting ready so we can get there early for registration you know a lot of people are coming far and wide” she said as she readjusted her wrapper to hold my baby brother tight as she was backing him.

The drive to the boarding house wasn’t as I expected, my mum who had suggested it cried throughout the trip while I was sitted at the back of my dad’s car playing with my brother, I think he knew that I was leaving because he was always glued to my mum but that day he let me carry him till we got there not that I like him, he was my parents favorite and they never hid it.

“ mo Omo enotiwa nshe o, be a good girl and read. Please don’t join bad gang o”. My mum said for the hundredth time that day

“Yes ma” I replied.

Federal government girls college Kabba I read aloud as my dad drove into the school. The school was packed with new students for registration, I did mine in no time cause my mum had a family member who worked there. She accompanied me to my assigned dorm. My mum fixed the mosquito net and arranged my assigned cupboard constantly reminding me to be a good girl while doing so, we finished and went to meet my dad . He also advised me but he didn’t say much, he’s not much of a talker. I could see him holding back the tears but my mum’s was spilling I couldn’t Hold back mine either they both hugged me still constantly reminding me to be a good girl before they left.

At that moment I felt empty and abandoned, I walked back to my hostel crying and wondering how’d survive without my mum . I got back, lay down to cry more till I slept off.

Later that evening all the new students were called for introduction and we were also shown a portion of land to sweep and weed daily before classes. We were shown the dining hall and other important places in the school environment, I met few of my friends that we attended primary school together and I started to feel like i can do this . I can survive in this school .

The next day started very early, the matron woke us up by 5:30, we all went to weed and sweep our assigned portion of land. Afterwards we had our bath, dressed and was lead to the dining hall for breakfast. We all were present at the assembly by 7:30 which was to be our daily routine except for weekends, after the assembly we all marched to our various classes, I was in Jss 1E . The rest of the day was filled with introduction and lectures, we had lunch, went back to class for prep then back to the hostel for siesta before going for games in the evening.

Boarding house isn’t for the weak, the endless bullying and theft was tiring. If you don’t have a solid back up like seniors or teachers you’d beg to die. Life was hell. The most traumatic experience i had was the second term of jss 1 , I had a computer lesson that faithful afternoon I had to move from my class to the computer lab , I was the last to leave cause I didn’t finish copying the note of the previous lecture. On my way to the computer lab walking as fast as I can with my stomach grumbling afraid that I would be punished for arriving late I heard someone shouting “ that girl, that girl.” I looked back to see a senior waving her hand through her class room window beckoning for me to come. I walked back wondering what I did for a senior to notice me, it’s either I’m in trouble or she needs to send me on an errand. “ good afternoon senior” I greeted as I bent forward a little. I couldn’t even look directly at her. “ Take this 250 make you go mama risi shop buy me coke, parle G and gala and you go bring 500 naira change for me”. She said pointing the money in my direction. “ ma ? Ma but the money is not enoug….”. I protested.

“ Take this money before I woze you and if them born you well no bring wetin I send you with my change”. She replied forcing me to take the money.

“ which class you dey so Incase you carry my money run I go fit find you”. I didn’t reply immediately because at that point I already knew I won’t buy anything. I didn’t eat lunch that afternoon either ,they made semo , okro and boiled fish for lunch which I skipped.

“ you no hear me ? I say which class you dey”.

“Jss 3A ma” I lied.

“ Fast fast go buy wetin I send you, no make me find you o ”.

I walked away half happy and half scared. I was hungry , I already exhausted my provision and I didn’t have lunch, I would have gotten what she sent me if she didn’t act entitled . Well it’s her loss and she can’t find me because I didn’t tell her my real class. I got to my mama risi’s place bought coke and two parle G found a cool spot to sit and ate it, I couldn’t go back to the computer lab , the senior would surely see me. I sat down there thinking about what I will do or say when the senior finally sees me .

The next few days was me trying to hide from any senior I saw, I knew what I did was bad but it wasn’t entirely my fault. I didn’t get caught till I was in jss2 second therm. It was hell.

It was a Thursday evening , I joined the queue for dinner holding my plate and spoon tight so it wont get snatched, I felt someone hit the back of my neck then I turned back angrily to see who did that. I didn’t recognize her immediately but once I did my plate and spoon fell , I just stood there wide eyed looking at her while she stared at me like she wanted to tear me limb by limb, she dragged me by my hand to the back of the dining hall calling her friends to join her on the way.

“ shebi you think say you be smart girl now, make I see how you go escape”.

I prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me. On getting to the back of the dining hall I was asked to kneel down with lots of slaps and beating, what made it worst was other students were staring at me but no one helped, I was labeled a thief, had my provisions taken away, had to fetch her water and wash her clothes. I was basically turned into a house help, I was humiliated and had no one to run to. After every visiting days my provisions were taking away from me, everything valuable was taken away from me. Then I decided to fight, I went to her hostel after making sure no one was there I broke her cupboard and took back my provisions. I was wrong but she was wrong too so why do I have to pay for her stupidity ?

FREEDOM

Saturdays where mainly for inspections. The matrons would go to each dorm to inspect each space and check everyone’s nails then at the end of each inspection a gift is awarded to the best dorm.

I woke up feeling down as usual knowing it will be another day of my endless suffering . I took my bathe, arranged my space and got ready for inspection. I was standing slightly resting my hand on my bunk trimming my nails with a blade when I heard someone scream my name.

“ Ayo , where that foolish girl dey”.

I could already tell from the tone of her voice that she found out what I did but I didn’t even care. She entered the dorm and walked straight to my space.

“you no hear say I dey call you”.

Slapping me across the cheek as she said so. I didn’t bulge, I just kept staring, she raised her hand to hit me again and in an attempt to dodge I raised my hand with the blade trying to cover my face, shortly after her hand landed on my cheek I heard her scream, I looked up to see that the blade tore very deep into her skin. She was bleeding.

I didn’t exactly know what came over me at that moment but I started laughing, she tried to slap me again and this time I made sure to cut her with the blade. The first time might have been a mistake but this time it was intentional. Just at that moment the matron came in confused wondering what all the fuse was about, she saw the senior bleeding and she was rushed to the sick bay while I was asked to kneel down and pray nothing happened to her.

I knelt for hours, scared and and happy. Scared in the sense that the bullying might worsen happy in the sense that i got my own pound of flesh. Later that evening we were both invited to the vice principals office to each explain what happened. The senior was found guilty she was suspended for two weeks and I was given the punishment to weed the school farm for a whole week and our parents were notified of what transpired. It was freedom at last or so I taught.

The senior resumed back and everything was going very fine but her class mates started picking on me, I was cornered multiple times on my way back from night prep, beaten and dragged. I reported on multiple occasions but the school authorities did nothing because the senior denied ever knowing the people behind it. The assault got to a point where I was admitted in the school sick bay for days, at that point my parents knew they had to do something. I was withdrawn from the school to a private boarding house.

Jemibewon.

The private boarding house was for male and female. My stay there went smoothly, I related with my seniors pretty much and there was no case of bullying. My time there was short , I completed my Jss3 then I had to leave when the school fees was increased and it was to much for my parents to handle.

The idea was for me to attend a day school but my mum didn’t want me to school with her in the village. Apart from the fact that the level of education in the village is bad and the rise of dropouts and young pregnant girls bothered my parents. The superstition that the witches won’t let u attain greater heights when they see you constantly also affected my chances of staying with my mum. so I was sent to the the town, where things are much simpler and life is way easier.

That is how we got here.

ASCSS.

.“ Ayo, I know you’re tired but you have to take ur bath and eat.” My dad said gently tapping my leg signaling me to wake up..

I took my bath and ate as instructed then went back to my room to get ready for the next morning. My dad and I will go to my new school for registration the next day, after arranging I lay down on my bed thinking about what my life here will be like.

The next day dada and I left for my new school to get me settled in. It is a school owned by the company my dad works for, the company try to make life easier for their workers by giving them discount on the schools fees they also provide medical services for the workers. Once through with my registration I was lead to my new class and introduced to the students.

My First day went by smoothly, I got a lot of attention especially from male teachers and students it isn’t something new, I am way bigger than most of my mates, I started using my first bra in primary 4 so I got used to the attention. After school that day my dad came to pick me up, the ride home was just him asking how my day went in school and making me promise him I will stay away from boys. When we arrived home he asked me to get a pen and paper to write down the rule and regulations I was to abide by daily. I was asked to clean the house and sweep the front porch every morning, the bathroom and toilets washed every three days, wasn’t allowed to watch TV’s during school session and once it’s 5 I’m not to step outside the door. He also stated that not abiding by his rules deliberately attracts punishment, I was on eggshells trying not to break one of his crazy really rules but they only got stricter.

I felt like my dad was always watching me and I understand that to a point because parents are always keen with their female children but what I never understood was why he couldn’t just trust me to make the right decisions for myself. It was as if he was lurking, always waiting for me to make a mistake and I always did.

REPEAT.

School became my solace, that was the only place I had people to play with. I did well In most of the subjects but I always had a problem with physics. My dad had warned me that if I failed a subject he will make sure I don’t get promoted to the next class, I always taught it was just a threat to make me focus more. Physics isn’t like other subjects, you could be asked to solve a question and also be asked to derive the formula for that question I never understood the logic behind that, I felt for every given question the formula should be provided I heard that’s how it’s done in the UK. I really did try my best to pass the physic exam but it just didn’t happen, I failed and yes my dad made sure I repeated that class. The school that was my solace was turned to hell. Life became unbearable not just because of school but also the fact that my dad kept adding more crazy rules. One of those rules was that no matter what I saw in the house I must never tell my mum, I was to act blind to whatever he did.

RUN, BABY RUN.

“ a friend of mine will come to stay with us for a few days, behave yourself”. My dad said slowly flipping the news paper he was reading.

A friend ? Does my mum know about this friend ? I taught as I walked back to my room. Later when my mum called to speak with me my dad stood listening to our conversation making sure I didn’t say anything about his mystery friend.

I found that odd.

The day our mystery friend was to arrive came. My dad personally cleaned the house and cooked, he also sent me to the supermarket with his bike to get drinks. I got the drinks and headed back home , on getting to the door step I saw a ladie’s sandal I entered the passage and there were two big traveling bags. This luggages is to much for someone just staying a few days, I entered the living room and I saw a woman I knew from the village, I was surprised.

“ ahhh, Ayo bawoni you’re now a big girl o” she said smiling awkwardly.

“ Yes ma”. I replied. “ what of bobo ?”. I asked remembering she has a son

“ He’s in the kitchen with he’s daddy”

“His dad ? you came with his dad ?. Ahhh let me go and say hi to him”. I walked to the kitchen I heard her trying to say something on my way but I really didn’t pay attention. I opened the kitchen door and it was just my dad and Bobo. “ you’re back”.

“ Yes sir, where is daddy Bobo I came to greet him”. I said bending down caressing Bobo’s hair. Bobo was just 2years of age. I looked up to my dad trying to ask again thinking he didn’t hear what I said the first time but from his facial expression I knew he heard and he just didn’t reply. At that moment I knew what it was but my fragile little heart couldn’t believe it. I stood up, opened the store door peeked inside but there was no on there, I checked all the rooms and there was no one there at that moment it finally dawned on me. This woman didn’t come here to stay for a while she is here to stay!

I went back to the sitting room angry with her and my dad. She was once friends with my mum, I really didn’t know what happened but before I left I didn’t see them around each other again. I never knew I had so much anger and courage in me till that day. I really didn’t know what came over me. I went back to the passage to drag their bags out, my dad heard the sound and came to stop me. He tried pulling me but I didn’t bulge I just kept dragging the bag I felt someone hit me , I turned back and it was the woman.

“You are my mum’s friend, what did she even do to you to deserve this”. I said with tears in my eyes.

“and so ? Is that the reason you’re behaving like mad woman? Don’t ever in your miserable life try this nonsense you did with me today again”. She said with hands akimbo. “ the next time you try this I will make sure to send you back to that your stupid mother”.

“ My mother is not stupid at least she won’t sleep with her her friends husband .” I replied with tears rolling down.

She slapped me after I made that statement and my dad just stood there and did nothing. He just went into the living room with little boy and the mum followed. I fell to my knees crying not because of myself but because of how my mum will feel when she finds out.

Life changed as expected, all my day dad attention was on the little boy and his mum. She treated me like a rag. My mum called every day to check up on me and my dad was always on standby, listening to all our conversations even the day he wasn’t there I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what was happening. I betrayed her and I hated myself for it. I endured because I only had few months to finish my secondary school even though I was starved and beaten for the slightest mistake which most times was a set up.

“ Ayo, make sure to see me in my office before you leave the school premises” the principal said peeking into my classroom.

After lectures I went to see him.

“ I have been trying to reach your dad for a while. Please do tell him that he has to pay for your school fees by tomorrow or you will not be allowed on the school premises” he said .

“yes sir “.

I replied.

On getting home I made sure to pass the information to my dad but before I could finish the evil woman replied me.

“ Why would he continue paying for a child with añ empty brain like you” she said “ even my baby is more intelligent”.

I didn’t reply her I just kept looking at my feet. My dad sent me back to my room that he’d attend to it the next day which he never did. I was beaten everytime the bursar called names of people who haven’t paid which I found odd because why do you beat the students they don’t have the financial capability to sort the fees, beating the students will not pay the fees. Eventually I wasn’t allowed on the school grounds anymore since I didn’t pay.

I was always home which put me in more trouble with the evil woman, life became unbearable because why am I go through this at 16, I should still be a baby girl. “ I should run away” I taught to myself. “ but where will I go to ? I don’t know anywhere” i taught of going back to my mum’s but then she will get to know everything that has been happening. I shrugged the taught off my mind and focused on washing the plates at the moment but I couldn’t help but think about the freedom I will have If I should run. Life will be good.

I Was still thinking when someone flung open the kitchen door, I was startled and the ceramic plate I was washing fell and broke. I looked back and it was the evil woman and I knew I will get punished for breaking her plates. “ hope that’s not my plates o ehhen Ayo” she said smiling wickedly. “ you’re so useless that you can’t even do anything at all, you want to send me back to the village abi ? So you and your mother have connived to break all the things I this house and send me back to the village. God will not let you “ she said dragging me by my ear to the sitting room while shouting and cursing. My dad heard to commotion and came to see what happened.

“ see your useless child, very stupid girl . Alapa masise, there’s nothing productive she knows how to do, just like her mother”. She kept ranting and cursing at my mum and I just stood there looking at my dad, he looked at me and I could see he was never going to stand up for my mum. I smiled, I couldn’t even believe that this man could be like this. She kept ranting, cursing and hitting me. I said nothing and just kept smiling I think that triggered her more because she just got more angry, she took my dad’s belt and kept hitting me . At that moment my dad actually intervened he took the belt from her and reminded her that they will be late for thier outing, I think he pitied me but I didn’t even care. I already made up my mind to run.

She instructed me to kneel down till whenever they got back. I did kneel down till they left and once they did I went to my room, packed my school bag with a few clothes, went to my dad’s room took all the cash on the drawer I made sure to check if there was more and I took that too I also checked the fridge for a few snacks. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I had to get away from them. I checked outside and the bike was still there which means they took the car. I grabbed the keys and left, I was shaking, afraid I might get caught but I was determined to fight even if I did get caught.

As I rode out of the town I felt a wave of relief, I don’t know what the future holds in stake for me, I don’t even know where I am headed but anywhere will do as long as it’s not with these horrible humans . I smiled , speeding up the bike happy that I was free from that life of mystery.