My Plan To Death

plip... plop... plip...plop...

In those few seconds of quiet, after being pushed to my knees, all I listened to was the sound of blood drops hitting the floor. I attempted to find the source and moved my foggy vision to my left and found it dribbling from the wicked arm that kept me in a chokehold from behind and then to the other arm, to my right, holding a sharp ax right beneath my chin.

When abruptly the front entryway was forced open. I lifted my eyes from the sharp instrument and everything went so quickly with police officers dashing into the passage blocking it, holding their guns in our way, yelling orders at my assaulter to drop her weapon down and free me, which only made her raise the ax edge deeper into my throat and to make it worse, I felt like I was going to pass out or vomit at any moment because of the sharp pain striking my head and the terrible scent of fresh blood everywhere.

That's it. I'm going to die...I'm fucked...how did I end up in this situation? My day started normally. Why is this happening to me?

Ignoring everything around me and like a dying man, I started to recall my day and the last few hours of my normal life.

*****************

beep beep beep

My alarm clock began hollering at me to wake up, which I already was a couple of minutes before. I took my hand out from beneath my sheets and reached for it, squeezed the button to turn it off, and looked at the digital screen that showed 5:00 am like each day.

You would ask who would willingly wake up at 5 am every day. Well. I do, and I've been doing this for decades. Most of the time I don't even need an alarm to wake me up, but I keep it just in case.

I rolled out of bed, stretching my arms up to the ceiling while going straight to the washroom, beginning my morning schedule; the one I repeated so much I can do with my eyes closed. I washed my face, wore a match of clean pants and a hoodie, picked up my phone and AirPods, and went outside for my regular run. Running, I listened to a podcast about mindfulness and well-being passing by the same trees, same lake, same neighbors, and same dogs. Everything and every day were always the same but this didn't really bother me as I liked my routine. I liked my safe zone where I can control everything in my life and know what tomorrow will bring to me. Adventures were never my thing. I always wanted and worked for a steady life.

I was always like this even as a child and that's why I was continuously the best in everything, the first ranked in my class and sports festivals. The primary to wrap up school, and also the one with the highest GPA in college where I graduated with a brain research doctorate in criminology, human behavior, and mental disorders.

My life was in order and I was satisfied with it, I had a great job at a mental well-being care center and soon enough I would be appointed to be in charge because clearly, I was the leading fit and I had an enormous reputation across the country with my nickname "the mind-reader" I was known to be exceptionally sharp and able to get to people's head effortlessly and fix them if we can put it that way. Obviously, my financial status was excellent. I could afford everything I needed and I have a fiancée which is suitable wife material... at least I hope so because my parents and everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am.

Despite everything I was good at, social skills weren't really one of my talents, which is weird for a psychologist whose job is to spend hours interacting with people but like I always said, patients were different. They are people I study to give advice and medications to and I was really good at my job. Normal people, on the other hand, found me cold, boring, controlling, and too calculative, which is not true because I can be very funny, but they just don't get it so at some point I just stopped trying to make friends.

Reaching my apartment, I did my daily workout in my mini gym, took a shower, and wore my clothes: a white shirt, blue navy pants, and white shoes. I was having breakfast with a cup of coffee while scrolling through today's news when something caught my attention: a headline.

Killer woman manslaughter 16 men finally arrested.

Thoughts started stumbling in my head; How the hell did one woman do that much damage? Why did she do that? Why so much rage? I am sure she is not normal or wasn't in a normal situation...is it possible that...

I stopped my psychological questions and theories when my phone rang and Julia's name showed on the screen. I looked at the time. It was still 7 am and my fiancée was never a morning person, so I answered worried something happened.

"Good morning baby" she answered in her high-pitched voice.

"Hey, Julia is everything okay?" I asked in anticipation of bad news.

"Yeah sure, why wouldn't it be?" She questioned with a hint of surprise in her voice.

"No...I mean...you never call me this early so I just assumed something happened" I explained pouring myself more coffee which I will need soon.

"Why are you always like this? Can't I call my fiancé when I want to? Am I an annoyance to you?" That was it. That's why I needed more coffee because, by the time this conversation wraps up, I will have a killing headache.

"No of course not, I am sorry for the way I spoke I was just surprised because you don't usually wake up at this time," I defended myself with my regular monotone voice taking a big gulp of dark beverage.

"Ah...yes I decided to start waking up early and have a healthy and steady lifestyle, just like you baby. If we're going to live together, I might as well share my morning routine with you..." She started raining on me a bunch of words I wasn't focused enough to catch any of them. Looking at the time, my patience faded with the disturbance of my morning and I interrupted her "that's really good Julia I am proud of you! but you should do it for yourself and not for me because it doesn't bother me as long as you don't disturb my morning." I tried my best to emphasize the last words for her to get the hint that I wanted to end the call but in vain she picked up where she left off, telling me about what she had done since she woke up.

I know I should be touched by the attention and all, and maybe I am behaving like a dick right now but trust me, it is not the first time she decides to do something life style changing and try to keep up with it for more than two days. So right now she was just screwing with my schedule which she knows is important to me.

"Julia," I said in a firm voice, interrupting her mid-sentence trying my best to control my emotions and end this call "You're amazing, you should keep it up, but right now I have other things to do. We can talk later ok?"

"Oh...I'm sorry, I forgot how everything around you is more important than what I have to say" she spat after a brief silence.

Oh Hell No. I was not going to have this argument first thing in the morning. I had to come up with something that will get her off my back for the rest of the day.

"Julia. You know I would love to listen to what you have to say for hours but I have a lot of things to do right now, I have to go to work" She answered with a no-convinced Uh-huh so I used my secret weapon " What about you come to my place tonight? We can have dinner and you tell me everything you want to say"

"You're serious?!" she gushed "You only let me come over on your day off!"

Yes, and I had a reason for this. My job requires me to spend hours listening to people keeping them in check so coming back home to listen to more whining was torture. However, I would rather sacrifice my night than drag this stupid argument for days to come listening to her crying screaming that I don't care enough, and then her friends lecturing me. No, I wasn't going to live in this hell again.

"yes, dead serious" I confirmed.

"OH MY GOD, I'm so happy!! can I sleep over too?"

Fuck no I said dinner only..."Yes sure," I answered cursing myself.

"Yeyyy thank you, baby, see you tonight bye!" She hang up sounding excited and I growled in frustration looking at the ceiling. It's going to be a long day.

I finished the rest of my breakfast, checked myself in the mirror, wore my jacket, put my laptop and files in my bag, and went to my car. Arriving at my office at 8:00 am like every work day, I sat in my chair, opened my bag, and placed my laptop on the desk checking my schedule for the day when a caregiver who was also my right hand knocked on the door and stepped in after I gave permission."Good morning doctor" she saluted me walking towards my desk and placing the papers I must sign.

"Good morning Alice. Thank you. Do I have any sessions this morning?"

"No Doctor not until noon...but..." she stopped talking looking at the door then at me.

Sensing her distress I asked "Is everything okay?"

"Actually doctor..." She came closer to me talking in a low voice. "There is a strange man that came by yesterday night asking about you but you were already gone at that time. This morning he was already waiting outside of the building even before we opened the doors, do I let him in or ask the security to escort him away?"