The Sign for Home

Julia

The snow beneath my feet crunches with every step I take, and a cloud of smoke leaves my mouth as I take a breath while the cold night air wraps around me like a blanket, only there's no comfort from it, it only makes my fingers and nose burn even more with how cold they are.

I wrap my arms around my body as tightly as I can, but I only have on a tee shirt and hoody, so there's not much hope of me getting warm anytime soon. Any feeling in my fingers and toes stopped ages ago, and I'm pretty sure that if it was possible, my nose would fall off at any second. I swear it feels so numb that you'd think that it was frozen.

The holes in my shoes are not helping my situation, and neither is the fact that I'm wearing the thinnest pair of leggings that I have ever owned, but beggars can't be choosers and, unfortunately, for me, begging is part of my life.

As I walk across the front of a coffee shop, I stop in my tracks and take a moment to just enjoy the sight that's in front of me. The place is full of people just enjoying their day while Christmas music plays in the background. A waitress walks in my line of sight with a box overflowing with Christmas decorations and for the first time today, I smile.

Christmas is my favorite time of year and even if I haven't been able to celebrate it in a long time, I will never not love it. As the waitress starts decorating a tall tree in the corner of the coffee shop, I continue to look around. The place looks so cozy and warm that the sight alone makes my whole body ache. What I would give to just sit in that place, just to feel the warmth, even for just a few moments.

I've loved Christmas since I was a little girl, the magic and happiness that it brings and everything else, but more than anything I've always loved a white Christmas. Seeing the streets of New York City covered in a blanket of snow always makes this time of year just perfect.

Well, I used to love a white Christmas, but now a white Christmas makes my life even harder, and this year... well, this year we are having the worst snow that New York has seen in almost ten years, and I'm struggling... struggling to survive it. As I feel tears glaze my eyes, I turn and walk away from the coffee shop and down the dark dingy alleyway that runs along the side of the coffee shop. As I make it to the end, I turn and head for the five tall trash cans that are at the back entrance and I get stuck into my nightly routine. Looking for food.

I've been in pretty much every trash can in this city, but this place always gets rid of the best food. On a good day, I'm usually able to find some meals still in the containers and everything is always still in date and fresh. Hopefully, I can find enough food for the others too. They've been struggling to find food lately because it's so cold that it's freezing before we get to it, which is why I'm here now at this time. Usually, I only come here after the place closes to be careful, but right now I can't afford to wait too long, or we won't eat tonight and, more importantly, neither will Nina.

Within half an hour, I am walking out of the alley with a bag full of food and feeling insanely grateful for it. I have enough for everyone and I know that they will appreciate it. I take my time getting out of the alley without being noticed, then make quick work of heading back home. I come to a crossing and start walking across the road when a sudden loud screech makes me jump and almost drop my food right before a car comes to a sharp stop right beside me.