Wonderings

~~Grief only exists where love lived once~~

Onika's Pov....

Today I woke up in the middle of night with a jerk. I was sweating profusely. My palms were a bit shaky with the aftereffect of the nightmare. I heard Alex crying loudly, it was then I realized I had screamed hard, hard enough to wake him up from his peaceful slumber like countless other nights.

I immediately took Alex on my lap to soothe him, it took me nearly half an hour to calm him down and assure him that everything is all right, before he finally feel asleep clutching my fingers tightly as if expecting someone to come and snatch him away from me. Even the thought of it made me shiver in terror.

I tried to console myself, to calm myself. But deep down I know, when Agustin finds me he will make my life hell again.

'Right at this moment I hate you the most Agustin, more than I have ever done before. I hate you with every fibre of my being.

Fucking stop torturing my child as well. You motherfucking bastard.'

But what's more, I hate myself as well for being such a weakling. I never anticipated that it would be this hard to get you out of my mind even after running away. I am miles away from you but you still haunt my mind, day and night.

But, not my child, please not my child. I am scaring Alex as well, and this is killing me.

With every breath I take, I bleed.

With every second that passes something within me dies.