The Idle Thoughts of An Idle Fellow

y" down-stairs for short) is a very good sort of dog when he isin the middle of a large field or on a fairly extensive common, but

f a devastating army hadmarched through i

eto turn somersaults. We all clutch at it frantically and endeavor tomaintain it in a horizontal position; whereupon his struggles, hebeing under the impression that some wicked conspiracy is beingh

t of an American cyclone, and the first thing he did wasto sweep my coffee-cup off

, where they spread themselves out, and Gustavus Adolphus leftthe room. I called after him, strongly advising him to go straightdownstairs and not let me see him again for the next hour or so; andhe seeming to agree with me, dodged the coal-scoop and went, while Ireturned,

ting on the top stair but o

size of a penny roll. Herback was up and

sun, moon, and stars made you socareless (if I may be permitted the expression) as to allow your lightand delicate foot to descend upon my corn with so much force? Is itthat you are physically incapable of comprehending the direction inwhich you are proceeding? you nice, clever young man--you!" or wordsto that effect, he feels better. Swearing has the same soothingeffect upon our angry passions that smashing the furniture or slammingthe doors is so well known to exercise; added to which it is muchcheaper. Swearing clears a man out like a pen'orth of gunpo

explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answ

p in at Christian family as she was, too. I don'tso much mind hearing an old cat swe

und that she had squirmed out of mypocket on to the table and was trying to swallow the pen; then she

It was no concern of hiswhat she had been doing. Besides, he is not a saint himself. He isonly a two-year-

n thepassage, where they are fighting at the present moment. I'm in a messwith the ink and in a thundering bad temper; and if

ch indeed. What jollychaps they are! They are

t yourself, and keepup an appearance of being interested in the conversation. They nevermake stupid remarks.

nd fancy that you are thefather-in-law. And they never ask a young author with fourteentragedies,

ind us of our past follies and mistakes. They do not say, "Oh,yes, a lot of use you are if you are ever really wanted"--sarcasticlike.

o see us. They are wit

ad, sober when we feel solemn

mount of fun and mischief. Look at my eyes if you doubt me. Whatshall it be? A romp in the drawing-room and never mind the furniture,or

thearm of the chair and purr, and Montmorency will curl himself up on therug and blink at the fire, yet

old man," as plain as words can speak; andif it is a dog he looks up at you with his big, true eyes and sayswith them, "Well you've always got me, you know. We'll go through theworld together and always stand by each other, won't we?"He is very imprudent, a dog is. He never makes it his business toinquire whether you are in the right or in the wrong, never bot

ere is immeasurably your intellectual superior? Do you know thatevery little-minded, selfish scoundrel who lives by cheating andtricking, who never did a gentle deed or said a kind word, who neverhad a thought that was not mean and low or a desire that was not base,whose

and noblest, andwisest, and best beings in the who

all about politics and philosophy,and who know everything, in short, except what we are and where weca

woman's ideal man is some one she can call a "dearold stupid." It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid thanourselves. We love them at once fo

really doesn't much matter if they are unhappy. So long asthe foolish peopl

thoseof their friends. And we men and women are naturally shocked at suchselfishness. Cats certainly do love a family that has a carpe

that used tofollow me about everywhere, until it even got quite embarrassing, andI had to beg her, as a personal favor, not to accompany me any furtherdown the High Street. She used to si

ot mention this habit of hers in praise of thespecies, but merely to show how almost human some of them are. If thetransmigration of souls is a fact, this animal was certainlyqualifying most rapidly for a Christian, for

irls used

tion. And yet there issomething fascinating about them. There is a weirdness anduncanniness attaching to them. They are so cunning and strong, soterrible in their numbe

hip and leave her, no o

doom will fallupon the hall and the great name die for

heard behind the wainscot, and their gleaming eyespeer through the holes in the worm-eaten tapestry, and they scream inshrill, unearthly notes in the dea

all red eyes, like glittering coals, hear in thedeath-like silence the rush of their c

thestarving people touch it, but when they prayed to him for foodgathered them together in his barn, and then shutting the doors onthem, set fire to the place and burned them all to death. But nextday

gnawed their way through thethick ston

pick the bishop's bones;They gnawed the flesh from every limb,F

iped the rats away, and afterward, when the mayor broke faith withh

treets, and thechildren following with dancing feet and thoughtful, eager faces. Theold folks try to stay them, but the children pay no heed. They hearthe weird, witched music and must follow. The games are leftunfinished and the playthings drop from their ca

look so grave and solemn when they pause awhile fromromping, and stand, deep wrapt, with straining eyes? They only shaketheir curly heads and dart back laughing to their playmates when wequestion them. But I

und out full and clear, and then we tooshall, like the little children, throw our playthings all aside andfollow. The loving hands will be stretched out to stay us, and thevoices we have learned to listen for will cry to us t

David Copperfield," have thereupon sought out a small, longhaired dogof nondescript breed, possessed of an irritating habit of criticisinga man's trousers, and of finally commenting upon the same by a sniffindicative of contempt and disgust. They talk sweet girlish prattl

sort of German sausage on legs which they called a dogbetween them. They used to wash its face with warm water everymorning. It had a mutton

w down kindly but firmly upon any nonsense of thiskind. Dogs, however, seem to like it. They encourage their owners inthe tomfoolery, and the consequence is that in the circles I amspeaking of what "dear Fido"

ing upon his actions, tellingeach other anecdotes about him, recalling his virtues, and rememberingwith tears how one day they lost him for two whole hours, on whichoccasion he

ember, unable any longer to control hisfeelings, swoops down upon the unhappy quadruped in a frenzy ofaffection, clutches it to his heart, and slobbers ove

ession of Solo-Cornet Players in Theatrical Orchestras (it's apity there isn't one, anyhow), you have to begin with the dog. Youmust gain its approbation before they will even listen to you, and if,as is hi

rkedbeforehand, "I say that man is not to be trusted. You know, M

py, all legsand head, full of fun and play, and burning wi

inding machine, into which what is fresh and bright and pure ispush

and dignified, prudish airs; who could ever thinkthat once she was the blue-eyed

creatures. Theyrush about, and mew, and spring; dance on their hind legs, embraceeverything with their front ones,

to see them scuttle off so fast and made theirblood run cold with a wild parting whoop, and the tears came, we knewnot why? Oh, that magnificent young LIFE! that crowned us kings ofthe earth; that rushed through every tingling vein till we seemed towalk on air; that thrilled through our throbbing brains and told us togo forth and conquer the whole world; that welled up in our younghearts till we longed to stretch out our ar

rief moment of that god-like