A Chambermaid's Diary

embe

comes night, I am tired, exhausted, at the end of my strength. I think o

ace, My God! You can

if one is not feeling well, drinn!... drinn!... drinn! In these days I have pains in my loins that bend me in two, and gripe my stomach, and almost make me cry out. That cuts no figure; drinn!... drinn!... drinn!... One has no time to be sick; one has not t

hen? Are you deaf? I have been ringing for th

what gener

drinn!...

your chair, as if i

me a

or the

Bring me s

or the

! Bring me

or the

button. You never understand anything. A whit

he white butto

During these goings and comings, these ascents and descents, Madame has

needle and the butt

more. That suffices for Madame; she is satisfied. And to t

ing her examination of t

ou do all day long, then? I do not pay

for this injustice fi

s been interrup

ce, I forbid you to answer me. I want no remarks,

uld never stop. In the corridors, in the kitchen, in the garden,

y that keeps her always in such a state of irritation? And how qui

keep up, and drag myself about, and do my work? I do not know. Occasionally, on the stairs, I was obliged to stop, and cling to the banister, in order to get my breath and keep from falling. I was green, with cold sweats that wet my hair. It was enough to make one s

r with you?" she s

thi

ed to str

me, "why these manners? I do not like to see funereal fa

ain, I could hav

, with a red felt carpet, and lined from ceiling to floor with great mahogany cupboards, with gilded locks. And we laughed, and we amused ourselves in talking nonsense, in reading, in mimicking Madame's receptions, all under the eye of an English gover

elonging to Monsieur,-to Coco, as we called him among ourselves. Naturally we

t was a

rascal, a more perfect sharper. The need, the passion that he feels for being charitable, impel him to do things that are not very admirable. His intention is praisewo

day. I had come down for some hot water for a belated bath. Madame, who had gone to town, had not yet returned. And I was chattering in the kitchen with Marianne, when Mo

ons were in rags; his cap was a mass of filth. And his open shirt revealed a part

ed Monsieur, rubbing his ha

th his mouth fu

e, since this morning, at four o'clock, when I left ho

Pantois. Regale yourself

, Monsieur Lanlair

e was a long time in chewing, for he had no teeth lef

father Pantois? They

y are hard to pull up, you can believe. And besides, Monsieur Porcellet will not let us take them from his woods any more. We have to go a long way now to

a seat at the table beside him. Gay, almost uproari

ly good one, father Pantois.

, Monsieur Lanlaire;

od-humored, yes, indeed! They don't make any more like you th

his gaunt head, of the col

! My strength is almost gone. And then the wife, who is sick, and who never leaves her bed,-what a bill for medicines! One has lit

esture, and then, summing up th

er Pantois? Such is life. One cannot b

one must be

t's

can, isn't it so,

ed it

added in a voice that

dy has his sorrow

oubt

e seen in the perspective of the open door, were losing their color and disappearing in the shade. And father Pantois kept o

sweet-briers w

y come, sweet-briers are worth twenty-two francs a hundred. It is a l

f money, Monsieur interrupted the old man, who was

ver haggle with you? In fact, instead of twenty-two fr

Lanlaire, you

for the people, I am; f

on the table, he

ather Pantois. I will pay you t

yes to Monsieur, in astonishme

e to work for you, Monsieur Lanlai

an end to the

y,-I will go to pay you on Sunday. Does that suit you?

in the eyes of father Pantois faded out. He

d pay it to-night, that would oblige me greatly, Monsieur

ance; "certainly; I will pay you that directly. I proposed that only

, then in those of his vest and waistcoat,

thout change! I have nothing but

d really siniste

not change for a thousan

thought that it was proper for him t

never even seen thes

ay then," conc

drinking with father Pantois, when Madame, whom they had not h

e saw Monsieur sitting at table beside

he exclaimed, he

mered, and he

ome sweet-briers. Father Pantois has brought me some sw

eet-briers. We need n

ircuit of the room, and went out, slamming the door and

at the door through which Madame had just disappeared. Then they looked at each other

on Sunday, fa

, Monsieur

are of yourself,

Monsieur

mind you. I do not t

re ver

legs, and with back bent, went awa

ure! And, as for father Pantois, if ever he g

Monsieur is wrong in talking familiarly with peopl

portunities as offer. That is not always convenient. When he comes back late from a hun

ce of you to leave

w very well,

st

stern, her mouth ugly. He follows her about

, you know v

ne; you mak

, Monsieur does not go

ut thus in the house,

my p

o go hunting, the devil knows where! Y

A difficult problem. But, as in either case Madame scolds, Monsieur has taken the

s really

I saw him in the garden. Monsieur was gardening. The wind having blown do

longer the same man. His face lightens up, his eyes shine. Naturally gay, his gaiety comes to the surface. Really, he is not disagreeable. In the house, indeed, he rarely speaks to me now, and, though still bent on his idea, seems to pay no attention to me. But outside he never fails to address

bent over his dahlias, with bits of string between

nsieur is workin

ered; "these confounde

me to sto

e you are getting accus

ficulty in engaging in conversation!

certainly; I am get

It is not bad here; r

k, and repeated: "It is not bad," thus giving himse

the prop, and, with legs spread apart, and his two palms resting on

you led a gay life in Par

ered my eyes modestly, with an offended air, and, trying to blush, as

Monsi

eyes! Oh! yes, you must have had a gay time. And so much the

nt signs of amorous exaltation. He was on fire; desire was flaming in his eyes. I deemed it my duty to po

is speaking to his other chambermaids. Monsie

exactly to what extent this ou

right, if I go to comp

starting. Monsieur quic

," he s

did I ever succeed in burying in my throat the l

pen, his whole person bearing a two-fold expression of annoyance a

ironically at the top of a neighboring chestnut tree. Crouching behind the border of box, the cat was pawing at a bumble-bee. The silence was becoming m

ke pears,

Mons

answered in a tone o

. And suddenly, like a thieving child, he took a pear from the tree, a

in your apron. You never have

Monsi

casionally, because ... becaus

and also his masculine power, all had a softening effect upon me. I relaxed my face a little, veile

if Madame wer

hick curtain of chestnut trees, he quickly recovered himself, and, growin

for Madame. I do not intend that she shall annoy me

ared g

ieur is not just. Madame

ve a

I am no longer a man; I am nothing at all. I am the laughing-stock of the neighborhood. And all on accou

cally boasting of Madame's energy and order and all her domes

A hussy!

r! I played with him with marvelous ease. With a simple lo

! You are so pretty! You must b

Monsieur! c

onti

d yet, what?... you ar

w nearer to me, and

would, C

would

know very well; yes,

perhaps to betray Ma

standing out of his head, the veins in his neck swollen, hi

yes, i

sn't think of

nothing else

red, his fac

is going to

sp my hand, to

I am mad over you, Célestine; because I think of nothing else; because I cannot sleep; because I feel re

l everything to Madame. Suppose some one wer

. And he looked, without seeing them, at the ground beneath his feet, at the old pear tree, at the garden. Conquered at last, he unti

,-as I would have said no matter what. I am an old fool. You must not be angry with me. And, above all,

to keep fr

in my heart, something-what shall I call it?-something maternal. And, be

on he did not leave the wood-house, where he split wood furiously for more than four

noon at Louviers. Monsieur had an appointment with h

Rose, whom I had not seen since that famous Sunday. And I

gray tuft of beard. Very dry, very nervous, very restless, he cannot stay in one place for any length of time, and is always at work

ch old-fashioned flowers are cultivated,-those very old flowers that are

ay her work-basket, was mending stockings, and the captain, squatting on the grass, and wearing an ol

e little servant, who was weeding a bed of marguerites

sies exchanged,

aire? Oh! you can boast of serving in a famous

ends. A discussion apropos of Rose had brought on a deadly quarrel. Monsieur, it seems, reproach

tory, the captain

e I not the right? Is i

ly not,

modest vo

alone; it is very

ng in blows, the two old friends had passed their time

r the hedge into Lanlaire's. So much the worse if they fall on his bell-glasses and on hi

ng like a trapper, and threw the stone into our garden with all his might. We heard a noise of break

en! The glazier will

th a sort of maternal

at a child! And how

me the honors of the garden. Rose excused herself for her inability to ac

he, jokingly, "I

the prettiest ones, remarking each time that there were no such to be seen in the garden of that pig of a Lanlaire. Sud

ver eat an

erous question that I stood with m

en all the flowers that are here. Some are good; some are not so go

belly, and repeated in a louder voice, in

verythin

e confession of faith revealed to me that his vanity in life

are right

lants that I eat; I eat animals also,-animals that nobody else

low, and red, were swaying in the breeze. And, as he looked at the flowers, it seemed to me that the c

to me

ighborhood. When they find a beast, dead or alive, a beast unknown to anybody, they say to themselves: 'I must take it to Captain Mauger.' They bring it to me, and I eat it. In winter especially, when it is very cold, unknow

under the acacia. And I was getting r

g curious,-something that you

led in a l

er! K

calls he exp

y ferret. A

calle

er! K

nd golden leaves, there appeared a pink sno

was not far away. Come, c

is body, covered with white fur and marked with pale yellow spots, had the supple movements, the graceful undulations

er! Oh! the charmi

rned

rectly, his tail frisking, his head lifted. He eats with us, sleeps with us. Indeed, I love the little beast as if he were a person. Why, Mademoisell

shoulders, and, after a thousand caresses and a thousand pretty tricks, rolled itsel

al idea flashe

ly,-"I will bet you, Captain, th

onishment, and then with infinite sadness.

stammered;

him, who had eaten everything. A sort of new w

ferociously, "that you w

nd invincible shock, the old captain had risen

again, and see!

violently, separatin

you would not e

say that I would not eat it? Yes, you say that? Wel

the little beast's back with a snap, and threw it, dead withou

ew out of tha

ing, he ran to shut h

dazed by the abominable action that I had just committed, I rose to go

o fond of his ferret. I do not wish him to love anyth

rt silence,

or that. He is not a man to be d

ew steps

that you were seen the other day, in the garden, with Monsieur Lanlaire. It is very imprudent, belie

closed the g

! Now I must go

the body of the poor little ferr

dessert was being served, Ma

k me for them; I will see if I can give

nsw

, Madame, and I d

e ins

t you have take

epl

thief, Madame has only

the plate of pru

rty-two; now there are but twenty-five; then yo

eaten two of them.

ever in